Category: gratitude

Acts of love…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay15 Comments

Doing something, for someone else, is an act of love.
It sounds simple, but that isn’t always the case…
Often times we grow weary or disgruntled, feel under appreciated, etc… Unfortunately others may not always notice what we may do for the them, or the lengths we may go to for their happiness. There are several adages about that and motherhood, but it isn’t just motherhood. Marriage can be like that. Parents of adults can sometimes fall into a shroud of entitlement and take their grown children for granted. It is our human nature to take, and take, and take…

I try (and fail miserably… often because I over schedule myself) to find small ways to serve my family beyond the standard meals, home and laundry. Some days I may go beyond myself to accomplish something, only for him to wonder what I did all day… I’m not a fan of those sorts of days…

And then today I wondered: Am i guilty of that too? I know he doesn’t mean to look past me. How often do I hurt my husband or kids because I’m so caught up in the chaos of life that I don’t truly see what they’ve done for me?

Today, in my 28 day challenge, i will:
– Say thank you, and mean it.
– Observe.
– do three good deeds/random acts of kindness, for three strangers.
– make an extra effort to ease the burdens of my husband, who works so hard for our family…

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Obviously MARvelous

The truth about gifts…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

Genny takes an art class from an amazing artist, every Monday morning… Monday of this week he spoke to the class about Valentines. Specifically, about when making/giving one to someone you do so with that person in mind. You consider what they like, the things that seem to draw their attention, etc. 

It’s all about the details… 
I’ve said this very thing to her a thousand plus times, but she never really heard it until today. 
I was thinking about this particular post for awhile, before today. Gifts are my love language. I love buying them, love receiving them. The prettier wrapped, the better. It’s just how I love and feel love. My husband, however, is an insecure gift giver which usually means no gifts at all. Because I love him more than life itself, I’ve grown to realize that a lack of gifts doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, or think of me- but honestly, (and I’m ashamed to admit this) that was a TOUGH lesson… 
I did buy him a super cute little valentine, this year. Nothing major. I had zero expectations from him, and it wasn’t until Valentines Day itself that I realized even more than a little gift- what would speak the loudest to him would be to do something for him… I tackled the storage side of our garage. I organized. I loaded my SUV full to the brim with stuff for Goodwill. After hours of doing this, and feeling completely exhausted in the process, I was disappointed to survey what had been done and not see bigger results. In fact, I was actually a little depressed about it. When Chw walked in the door though, he was all smiles. From ear to ear. He wrapped his arms around me and thanked me over and over. 
You don’t know how much that means to me. He said those words until I couldn’t stand to hear them anymore. I didn’t see that it was that big of a deal, but he did. It meant something to him. More than a silly little Valentine or an overpriced card. More than a fancy date at some five star restaurant… 
And then, then he said four beyond priceless words to me: I’m taking you bowling! 
And I shrieked… 
I did so because A) I love to bowl. B) He doesn’t. C) Therefore we never go. D) He had reserved the lanes, on his way home, before he even knew I’d worked in the garage… 
To give a gift to someone you love, all you need to do is love them and truly set yourself aside in thought of them. While Chw would have been less than thrilled if I’d gifted him a game of bowling- he had an AWESOME time because we all had fun and he knew it made me happy. On the same note, if he’d cleaned the garage for me- I’d have gone straight to bed and slept the night away wallowing in self pity. 
Joy is found, even in the things we may not like, when we do them in love… That is the true gift… 
Today, for my 28 day challenge, I will: 
– Do things for my family, even the things i don’t like to do, with a joyful pep. 
– I will play Gen’s favorite game with her. 

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The truth is sound…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay11 Comments

It’s no coincidence that the word for my final sense, to discuss, has a second meaning of firm, solid, foundational…

This week my sister and her husband had to make the excruciating decision to send their three children (whom we are incredibly attached to) to another state to live, for awhile. On top of that, my mother had two major surgeries, several dangerous days in ICU- all culminating in her needing 9 liters of blood, which opens up an entirely new string of problematic possibilities…

But the one thing that has screamed itself known, throughout my week, is the very thing I’d known I would blog about today, before…

Before my son was injured in military training.
Before my mom had the most difficult night (healthwise) of her life.
Before my niece and nephews left for this new chapter in their lives…

Sound. The importance of sound, from (and to) those we love. At least I thought I was blogging about it’s importance, but really- today- I admit importance is actually an understatement. Vitality is the word.

To a mother, exhausted from labor, waiting for her baby’s cry…
To the wife, whose husband fights a war on the other side of the ocean…
To a child, frightened and sleep strewn from nightmares…
Sound is everything.

When I heard my mama’s voice, after that long ICU laden night of not knowing- i heard heaven.

and it reminded me, of those literal aching moments of needing to hear my husband’s voice.
of those miscarriage laced years of feeling i’d die without ever hearing the sounds of a child’s laughter fill my home.

Then again, there’s an ugly flipside. Though the childhood adage tells us words can never hurt us, they can… They can break bonds, destroy marriages, crumble childhoods and take down a nation. Gossip can ruin reputations and relationships. Sound can lead to broken hearts…

There are moments when sound is everything…

Today in my 28 day challenge, I will:

– bite my tongue.
– use my words well, and wisely.
– memorize their voices- their laughter… for today is a gift with no guarantee…

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To be close…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay15 Comments
Within the first five years of our marriage, my sweet husband (who wasn’t always so sweet, in those days) would have these tender, night time moments where he would hold me so tightly and lay as close as humanly possible. I always knew these moments because there was something in him that was desperately searching and reaching. I always knew that this sentence would follow, and it warmed my soul- I just can’t get close enough to you…
As most everyone who reads this blog knows, we divorced in our fifth year of marriage and officially reconciled two years later… Our reconciliation wasn’t anything like the days of blissfully falling in love and dying to be together. Anyone who has been through something similar knows this. Divorce, and the details accompanying it, are painful and difficult. 
For the first couple of years, after our remarriage, I would often lay awake waiting for those moments of his yearning for closeness to happen, but they never did. It has been ten years since we remarried, in fact, and it hasn’t happened once. For a long, long time that reality messed with my head and this ugly voice in the back of my mind assured me that he didn’t want to be close to me. Somewhere though, along the journey of our lifetime together- I saw the truth. The truth was me… Before, in those first five years, I built myself behind such a vast and thick wall of self protection. It wasn’t me in body that he was desperate to be close to- it was me. The divorce and the reconciliation destroyed that fortress, and with it my need for preservation and safety. I am raw and real now, honest with him and 100% available… 
BUT it’s something i have to keep myself in check with. Life is hard and painful, and vulnerability leaves us often times feeling uneasy… 
Today i will, in my 28 day challenge to love: 
– be present and available, for my husband. I will carve out time, just for him, where we spend time talking about what he needs or wants me to listen to. We will dream out loud together. I will be completely present and attentive, to him. 
– I will make the time to touch base and connect with my kids. To hear their voices, and keep myself attentive to their needs. 
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Here comes the sun…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments
Is there anything more symbolic in our society than a sunrise? It signifies so much. I, myself, have had many a sunrise moments where life seemed to get brighter and more beautiful after a darkish hell… I wouldn’t necessarily say that my life is in a darkish sort of hell right now, because it isn’t. My life is actually really great, but that’s a different story… It’s just that, well, the sunrise this morning reminded me that- every day, it’s going to come… 
Sometimes I need the silliest reminders… 
Though I’m not going to get into it in such a public manner, Saturday brought with it some very ugly things that I had to face. I spent the majority of the weekend with a massive knot in my gut and always on the verge of feeling like I was about to be sick at my stomach. Sleep, since then, has been rough… Dreams even worse… But then the sunrise this morning reminded me of everything in my life. Everything good and beautiful, as well as everything gritty and difficult. Life is full of bad, and if we let it that can be overwhelming. Life is full of good too, of great even. It’s just a matter of which we choose to look at… 
This morning I’m looking at the sunrise… 
This week I plan to: 
1} Read a book. (no, i did not do this last week… Gen got the chicken pox and everything sort of went down hill.) 
2} have fun with Genny. Good, quality fun. 
3} get creative, with Genny. 
4} cook 3 things/recipes I’ve never made before. 
5} get (at least) 2500 words of writing on the project, done. 
6} bake bread. (yes, i did do this last week, using my LAME breadmaker and it was awful. doing it by hand this time.) 
7} map out garden plan. 
8} hand write five notes/letters. 
9} try to forgive more. 
10} have a quality date night with Chw.
How’s your week looking? 
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