Category: gratitude

Finally learning how to love…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments

I have been forced to consider, lately, what sort of blogger I want to be.

I love blogging. i love reading them and the sense of community that develops among bloggers. I’ve seen fellow bloggers move mountains to help one another in times of need, in ways that face to face community dwellers seem to fail at- these days… i am proud to be a blogger.
The sort of blogger I want to be is an authentic one. Firm in who I am, and what I believe. Honest, not pompous, about me…
While pondering all of these deep things, lately, {like blogging, closing the doors of my business, how to further grow our family, etc…} I came across something which struck me in a completely profound way… You see, I was feeling immensely guilty because I hadn’t made specific quiet time to read or pray in a week. I knew these feelings were my own issue because God is not a god of guilt, but i also knew that things would go more smoothly if I would make the time. {Making the time seems to be my constant struggle, in all areas} Rather than pressuring myself with “homework”, to catch up on my reading, I just picked up where I left off- still feeling that nagging guilt eating away at my spirit.
And then, there it was: We are called to love God and to love others. it is in the evidence of how we love others as to whether or not we are truly loving God. Furthermore, loving God is not about an emotion at all, but about a commitment to put God first.
Wow. While I am sure there are many of you thinking “yeah, and? Get to the point.” my point is, WOW. All of these years i’ve feared (again, the fear part comes from me, I get it) that my heart wasn’t loving (emotion) God enough… My fickle heart has fallen obsessively in love with a movie, band or designer handbag (I’m sorry!) and worried that my new favorite thing would push God out of the lead contender position, for my love.
i have been so wrong. Even when I made the most horrible mistakes, God blessed me with an amazing husband and three of the most beautiful kids in the world. When I’ve been financially irresponsible, I’ve still always had a home and every other need. I’ve been loving God with my heart for so long, hoping beyond hope that I had it right- and I’m not saying loving God with emotion is a bad thing- but it’s about time I get the life part down…
{I haven’t forgotten my 365, I’ve just decided to start posting them in weekly shots… And, as gorgeous as this photo is, I’d love to take credit for it, but it’s actually from the happy pill, at wordpress dot come.}

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Authenticity, granted…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

This morning is the first day, all week, that I’ve had a moment at my computer…

Truthfully, I sort of love that I don’t have computer moments every day. Even more truthfully though, as a writer, i really should…
It’s that ever-questing strive for balance. It’s my inability to juggle everything- like wholesome cooking, laundry, errands, education, a business…
Don’t get me wrong, i love to write. I love, as sick as it sounds, to edit. I love it all. The process. The creativity. The sublimely euphoric feel that comes with it… Is born, again and again, because of it… BUT- i get distracted. Distractions like my ever mounting google reader and facebook.
I have decided to proceed no longer, with RDIM… It was a tough decision. I’ve loved it so much. I have loved the amazing experiences I’ve had, and people I have met through it. I am so grateful for the experience and the doors that it opened. It was a very short journey, at just under three years, but so much bigger than I’d ever thought. Owning a photography business is really rewarding and, if I wasn’t a homeschool mom AND a writer {first and foremost} i would continue it… The three things are each time consuming, and life sucking, on their own. I knew that I had to cut one and, though I struggled with the decision, it was the obvious choice. I have a wedding this weekend, for a dear friend, and a few miscellaneous appointments scattered throughout the next few weeks. January 31st is the last official day though… I’ve already began referring clients and each time I feel better about my decision.
I want to lead an authentic life, and I can’t do that if I’m not being honest with myself by taking on far more than I can handle. Managing many things, half heartedly, isn’t managing them at all. That’s what I’ve learned through all of this…
I am EXCITED for the next chapter in my life as a wife, mother and writer… A lot of things are happening, big changes are coming. Two thousand eleven is a BIG year for my family and i really hope you’ll come along…

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photo courtesy of Get Entreprenurial

Here’s to fresh…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

We had the unique sort of pleasure of wrapping up 2010 in a truly fabulous way… We completed a few small goals we had, paid off two crippling bills and paid the final payment on my car.

Yep. It was pretty much awesome.
Then we got to hang out with super cool people, some new to us and some not, which made it even better…
I am so grateful for last year…
– for the beautiful niece we were blessed with.
– for so much time with our kids.
– for a glorious family vacation to the coast.
– for so much quality time with amazing friends.
– for our safe and enjoyable trip through the Grand Canyon and to NM for Thanksmas…
– for my mom being here, over the summer.
– That Genny and I were not injured worse than we were, in our car accident.
– for getting more into paper crafting. It’s been fun and I do love my craft club.
– for amazing concerts. {Specifically, 30 Seconds to Mars and Dave Matthews}
– for new friends.
– for birthdays and parties and a glorious string of celebrations.
– for good health.
Perhaps it’s naive optimism, but I am really excited about 2011…
– Gen turns 12.
– We get to celebrate Lucas’ graduation from AIT, in the Army.
– Chw and I get to celebrate our seventeenth anniversary.
– Amanda turns 21.
– an exciting family vacation.
– reconnecting with friends.
– a trip to see my ultra dear friend Angie, hopefully…
– paying off medical bills.
– having healthy hair again. {it WILL happen}
– finding a church to settle in, where we can grow.
– Wicked coming to Boise, this spring. I love that show!
– celebrating our family anniversary!
I have a pretty small list of personal goals for the year…
– try Prescatarianism for 3 months (until the end of March) to see if it’s a lifestyle our family (or even just I) could maintain.
– attend a writer’s conference.
– query for an agent/publisher. (scary…)
– complete my family tattoo.
– stop drinking fountain soda every day… (specifically, Sonic fountain soda)
– learn something completely new to me.
– write daily.
– cook more.
– complain less.
– dance often.
– swim whenever I have the chance.
What about you? What are your goals? What things are you looking forward to?

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*image courtesy of Jana Liebenstein

Happy sighs…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments
This is the first year where I didn’t sit back and feel like I was robbed of some special Christmas moment. Typically, like a whirlwind the holiday happens and then I sit back, dizzy, wondering when it did… This year though, Christmas seemed to blanket weeks. Not the day, of course, but the spirit… The day, actually, came like more of a restful after thought.
Actually, I think I kinda liked it this way…
We had Christmas with my mom and that side of my family in November when we were in New Mexico. It made the most sense to do a Thanksmas there, in person. A couple of weeks later we followed that with a Christmas dinner and gift exchange with my foster sister and her family, here at home. When Christmas parties and cookie swaps trailed close behind, we were swept up in cups of cocoa, candy canes and Christmas movies. {Thanks, Hallmark!}
Honestly, I loved every second of this Christmas season. I loved, as we all know, the giving of gifts. {Not so much a fan of opening them.} I loved the dinners. {Loathe the baking, *sigh*} Enjoyed the shopping. {Could have done without the parking.} Chw and i kept it simple. I gave him Jeff Dunham tickets and he bought me a 90 minute massage and a 60 minute facial for the Monday before Christmas. It was, by far, the best way to kick off a usually stress filled week!
The best moment, I’d have to say, was locking the doors and turning out the lights when all three of my kids were home and asleep. I love that. Chw too… Whenever they are all here, (those days are less and less) he will sigh contentedly and tell me he is at his happiest. Me too, husband…
The best gifts I have ever been given, are right here…

And they aren’t actually mine. Not a one of them, but I will hold them close and claim them anyway because they are my everything…





i hope your Christmas was filled with beauty and blessings… Happy Twenty-Eleven! May it be filled with even more beauty and oh-so-much love…

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