Dog Days {of Summer…}

I’ve talked about it here before, but two years ago this month I unexpectedly lost my beloved life companion Paisley. It was a fast, tragic and deeply severing loss. About eight months later I opened my heart up to love an amazingly tiny little blue-tick beagle I lovingly named Knightley and when he died just three months later… Honestly, even […]

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Thirteen going on eternity…

Hello and happy friday! I am joining up, once again, this week with Kate and the collection of talented contributing writers for Five Minute Friday. This is the practice where Kate throws out a one-word-prompt and we creatively (and unedited) free write for five solid minutes and then link up to share with others. This week’s prompt is Thirteen… I […]

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Not too old to die, but SO hard to beat…

My BFF had to put her sweet dog Duke down this week. It was something they were aware wasn’t likely too far off, but anyone who has been there knows that no matter how “prepared” you technically are- you are never ready and there is never a best time… Not really. I have knelt across from those huge eyes, pained and ready, three times. I have held the tears behind a dam of self-control until that sweet soul took their last breath. I have heard it said that crying is cathartic and there have been so many times in my life when, amidst sobs and a salted downpour upon my cheeks, I have felt this to be true- when I’ve had to say goodbye this way however, it has felt gut wrenchingly far from catharsis. We were living in upstate New York when my husband decided to make my dreams come true, and get a puppy. We responded to a newspaper ad (because I’m dating not only this post, but us) for a yellow lab. We drove out into the rolling hilled farm land and turned down a long dirt driveway. (In case anyone is unclear about a timeline, we did use mapquest to get there… Which we had to print, on paper. We felt super high tech and advanced. Also, we did have cell phones. They were PHONES. You used them to talk.) My husband was a self proclaimed […]

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Letting Go, a lament…

This year of letting go has been brutal. I am left raw and bleeding, stripped away layers of love, of life, of skin and  laid ready for something new. The new is hard, terrifying… I love the old, the old like you. When I knew, to my core, that this year would be the one for letting go, I feared […]

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Quilts and Ice Cream Spoons…

I stir the ice cream, there in that bowl. Over and over, spoon to side, and back again. The grinding sound is creating the milky masterpiece that I love so much. Often the act begins with scoops of Cookies & Cream, the one which will remain a lifelong favorite. Most often though, they consist of French Vanilla, what I remember to be your favorite and a flavor I simply cannot stand. The grinding, noise of metal spoon against glass, annoys you. This isn’t why I love to do it, but it doesn’t seem to deter me from my mission either. As long as I can make that ice cream last, fading from firm scoop to sweet cream, the more of a victory I seem to feel I have won… I never questioned why, or why I stopped playing with the treat once I no longer lived under that roof. Have I ever done that as an adult? I’ll have to ask my husband. If I have, it was more from habit than intent. As a girl, it was deliberate- thought out. It took serious concentration and thought, and I was committed to the act as if humanity’s survival depended on it… Whenever something prompts me to reflect on my childhood, and the sorts of things I loved, liked and found interesting, that silly little ice cream habit is always towards the top of my list. I would shrug it off […]

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