I sit here typing these words at forty-five years old. Forty-five... How did that happen? I still feel seventeen inside, barely treading in too-deep-water and wondering when I'll be able to stop pretending like I've got this whole thing under control. I also, admittedly, feel about ninety-two, or at least how I imagine ninety-two to [...]
I was twenty-four years and seven months old, to the day. The doctor who had saved me with a shot six long years before had been the one to tell me, with saucer wide eyes, that my uterus had been the biggest mangled mess he'd ever seen. That poor piece of me had survived through [...]
It is not that I didn't fight to get pregnant, and once I did, to stay pregnant. I did the holistic creams on the belly, I drank the raspberry leaf tea. There wasn't an internet in those days, so whenever some well meaning person had some "advice", I was willing to take it. When I [...]
I don't remember learning that I was pregnant again. I DO remember that we couldn't afford a baby and I was panicked about how to keep the light bill paid, have some semblance of food in the house, and the timing seemed overwhelming. We didn't even have the "luxury" of a telephone, which is a [...]
It was the September of my 20th year when the combination of feel and scent in the air took me back, ala' movie montage moment, to so many Septembers past. High school Septembers, Jr. High autumn evenings. Flooding, internally, from one to the next. When I was thirteen, I declared I would one day have [...]
