This morning I sat in my yard crying, out in the rain. Several weeks before this weeping crumble, my husband and I returned from vacation to learn one of the stray cats who hangs out near our yard had given birth to two kittens. By this point, the kittens, though adorably dependent on their mama [...]
I sit here typing these words at forty-five years old. Forty-five... How did that happen? I still feel seventeen inside, barely treading in too-deep-water and wondering when I'll be able to stop pretending like I've got this whole thing under control. I also, admittedly, feel about ninety-two, or at least how I imagine ninety-two to [...]
I had a conversation this week with a fellow childhood sexual abuse survivor, and we talked about raising children. While she was able to have her own children, I of course could not. What I found fascinating, in our discussion, was the same internal pressures had remained. While I was a foster turned adoptive mother, [...]
It was the September of my 20th year when the combination of feel and scent in the air took me back, ala' movie montage moment, to so many Septembers past. High school Septembers, Jr. High autumn evenings. Flooding, internally, from one to the next. When I was thirteen, I declared I would one day have [...]
In the quiet silence of aloneness I am left on my own, to reflect. There were years of flowers and clumsy breakfasts, all blooms in what would feel (for a very long time) like a crowning achievement. After so many years of heartbreak and pregnancy loss, my life suddenly held this bubbly little girl who [...]
Rainy Day in May... 