Category: entertainment

dog… {giveaway}

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay21 Comments

I have always been a dog lover. There is something about having a dog that supports my emotional health, brings a level of companionship I may not get elsewhere, and just brings a richness unlike anything else. The hardest part of having walked this earth for four-plus decades as a dog lover has been the goodbyes. While many of my best moments involved a beloved pup, the lowest moments were those “see ya laters”.

I currently have a four-year-old Golden Retriever named Elenor. Ironically, she is the one dog I didn’t want. I’d had to say goodbye to a puppy a few months before and it had been brutal. I wasn’t ready. My husband really wanted her, and so Elenor came home with us.

This girl took a while to bond with, likely due to my hesitation. No one likes to get hurt and I was in the phase where maybe I didn’t want another dog because I’d had my fill of those rainbow bridge goodbyes… but, she’s been an absolute Godsend. These past few years have been the hardest, most growth-filled, and also the best/emotionally-healthiest years I’ve known–all rolled into one. I’ve done compelling work, written a memoir, signed a book contract, built a business with several facets, grown substantially in community, deconstructed from religion, and experienced more loss and grief than ever before. Elenor has been by my side through it all. We joke that she’s my husband’s dog, and in all fairness, he did fight like hell to get her… she does light up the most when she sees him, and she kind of worships the ground he walks on… BUT she is my constant companion. Where I go, she goes. When I’m asleep, she’s by my side. When I’m working, she’s outside my door. This sweet golden floof is always within reach. She is exactly who I needed.

When we rescued a litter of newborn kittens, she became the surrogate mom and the reason half of the litter survived. We kept one, and these two are the very best of friends.

I have partnered with Grace Hill Media to promote MGM’s new film Dog, starring and directed by Channing Tatum. In this partnership, I have the opportunity to give away an awesome Dog themed prize package, which includes 2 Fandango tickets!

DOG is a buddy comedy that follows the misadventures of two former Army Rangers
paired against their will on the road trip of a lifetime. Army Ranger Briggs (Channing
Tatum) and Lulu (a Belgian Malinois dog) buckle into a 1984 Ford Bronco and race
down the Pacific Coast in hopes of making it to a fellow soldier’s funeral on time.
Along the way, they’ll drive each other completely crazy, break a small handful of
laws, narrowly evade death and learn to let down their guards in order to have a
fighting chance of finding happiness.
Rated PG-13 for language, thematic elements, drug content, and some suggestive
material

You can view the trailer here.

DOG_10803_RC Channing Tatum stars as Briggs in DOG A Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures film Photo credit: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/SMPSP © 2022 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved

To enter the giveaway you must comment on this post by telling us a little about your dog! (If you share this post via social media, please comment back or send a DM with that link.)

Giveaway ends on February 15th at noon est.

complications…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

I was an avid fan of both Sex & the City, and The Good Wife. In each series, I noticed I had a sensitivity to the roles actor Chris Noth played. While other women I knew were vehemently Team Big, I found infinite reasons why he was not the man for Carrie. It would be well past the lifetime of the first series, and likely two-thirds of the way through the Good Wife before I realized that Noth reminded me of my stepdad. It wasn’t that they shared the same mannerisms or voice, but there were similarities in their appearance.

It reminded me of the first time I watched the Super Bowl. I was at a youth group party and there was some screen time with John Elway which would be the first time I ever recall being triggered. While also not identical twins, there were parts of his features that reminded me of my stepdad.

Stepdad is a funny term. He was actually the only “dad” I had growing up. I called him daddy. In truth, my mom was his (not so secret) mistress and he wasn’t really any sort of dad to me at all. He was someone else’s dad. Plus, he was my abuser. It was complicated…

While you may look at photographs of Chris Noth and John Elway side by side and think they look nothing alike, I see something in them that reminds me so much of him. I’m not going to say that this is any indication of the guilt regarding the allegations against Chris Noth, but I am going to say I wasn’t surprised when I heard them. And maybe that isn’t fair because it isn’t his fault he reminded me of my child molester.

It also isn’t my fault that I cried when Big died, in the reboot. I cried because though I struggled to not associate him with my “stepdad”, I also had grown to love him too.

Just like with my stepdad.

Like I said, life is complicated. At any rate= Believe women. Yes, sometimes they lie, but even in those lies there is going to be some shred leading to a truth.

trusting the journey…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

I sit here typing these words at forty-five years old. Forty-five… How did that happen? I still feel seventeen inside, barely treading in too-deep-water and wondering when I’ll be able to stop pretending like I’ve got this whole thing under control. I also, admittedly, feel about ninety-two, or at least how I imagine ninety-two to feel when a body is achy, chilled and worn.

In truth, at forty-five, I guess I’m caught somewhere in the middle.

Many years ago, I expected I’d have it all figured out by the time I reached today. Finances would be set. Big life things would be set. All emotionally healing and duress would be behind me. Weren’t we taught by example that these middle days were more like floating life’s lazy river than drowning in the water-rushing-deep end?

I thought so, anyway.

Then my thirties came, and my forties, and I began to realize that all those years ago when I looked up at the adults in my life, they were just treading tired water too. When a once-good friend was depressed over turning forty, as I crossed into thirty, she miserably said that older friends told her it got better then. I encouraged her but left the truth we were both thinking, unspoken: It wouldn’t get better, it would be old.

Old.

The truth is that those in their thirties tell the younger ones it gets better, and it does. The same goes for forties to thirties and fifties to forties… And, at forty-five, it’s fair to say I think it’s true. I mean, flexibility, health and joint pain may not get better- but inside, it does.

How we see the outside– what we’re willing to accept, and tolerate. What we will no longer settle for… As souls, we feel better.

When I thought about this idea of a time in my life when I trusted the journey, my mind came up blank. I sifted through memories of baskets I’d placed all of my hope/faith in, and how each one of those baskets kind of failed. There is this sad little pattern of that sort of thing, within my forty-five years. I’ve tried not to dwell on that, but I’ll admit it doesn’t really encourage me to go all in on faith/hope/trust, when it comes to chapters in my journey. So, I sifted and I sorted even more, looked even harder. I have always been a woman with faith, though that faith has significantly morphed, mutated and changed over the years, so surely I could find some time when I’d trusted the journey…

And that was it: the journey.

While many aging-breakdowns happen at thirty, forty, fifty– mine happened at twenty-five. At twenty-five years old, I had crumbled. With my therapist, I climbed out of that chasm acknowledging that I had a life and it could be the life I chose. I chose to be a wife. I chose to chase motherhood. I chose to be a writer. I chose to help women heal their traumas and choose their lives too. Up close, with a macro focus, it wouldn’t seem like I had much faith (or success really) with those choices… When I step back though, and take in the journey of the past thirty years, I am awed. I chose marriage. I chose to chase motherhood. I did all of the things. Some of them worked out, and some of them blew up in my face. Some days found me sitting in a bathtub covered in pills and vomit, choosing to live despite trying not to. Some days found me overwhelmed and running, and other days found me standing tall and ready for the fight.

Some days… Some moments… Even though I had momentary lapses of surrender and worn exhaustion, the fact was that I did not give up. I moved forward. I embraced choices. I made plans, wove dreams… I trusted my journey.

Back in March I shared the trailer for the film Finding You, which releases on Friday May 14th. In honor of the release, I am giving away a $25 Fandango gift card. I know it might be a little anxiety-inducing to think of going to the movies, but I also know that as things continue to become safer, it’s time that start adding life-moments back in. A free gift card might that nudge you need!

To Enter:

  • Leave a comment on this post by Thursday May 13th at NOON EST, telling of a time you trusted the journey.
  • Leave a comment on the coordinating Instagram post by Thursday May 13th at NOON EST, telling of a time you trusted the journey.
  • Share it in your Instagram story or on Twitter– you MUST tag me (@rainydayinmay)

Your name goes in the drawing for all things… Meaning if you comment both places and share stories/tags on each day, you could technically get ten chances to win. I mean, I’m not going to tell you what to do, just saying you COULD do that. ;)

Let’s hear it… when is a time that you trusted the journey?

Finding You… {Giveaway}

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

My passport remains intact, yet unstamped.

If you’re curious, I’m super sad about this…

Whenever someone mentions the topic of adventure, I shrink a little. I’ve never been anywhere, I think. I’m wrong, of course. I’ve been all over this North American landmass I call home. I’ve done a hundred different road trips, and because I LOVE the movie Elizabethtown, I’m pretty great at making sure road trips are memorable and intentional.

I’ve had exciting flights to west coast beaches and whimsical days in some of our biggest cities.

In the end, I think adventure is either in us or it isn’t. If life has made it so that we haven’t been able to get passport stamps- that’s ok. Adventure is still ours for the taking!

This past year, as we’ve been stuck at home we have re-fallen in love with the adventure we find in movies and books, and honestly, I love that. Speaking of that, I have an amazing trailer for you!

FINDING YOU is an inspirational romantic drama full of heart and humor about finding the strength to be true to oneself.  After an ill-fated audition at a prestigious New York music conservatory, violinist Finley Sinclair (Rose Reid) travels to an Irish coastal village to begin her semester studying abroad. At the B&B run by her host family, she encounters gregarious and persistent heartthrob movie star Beckett Rush (Jedidiah Goodacre), who is there to film another installment of his medieval fantasy-adventure franchise. As romance sparks between the unlikely pair, Beckett ignites a journey of discovery for Finley that transforms her heart, her music, and her outlook on life. In turn, Finley emboldens Beckett to reach beyond his teen-idol image and pursue his true passion.  But when forces surrounding Beckett’s stardom threaten to crush their dreams, Finley must decide what she is willing to risk for love.

115 Minutes | Rated PG

GIVEAWAY: One lucky reader will receive a $20 World Market Gift Card to ‘Shop around the world!’

How to enter:

  • Leave a comment telling about an adventure you’ve had OR connect on the correlating instagram post on 3/18.
  • Make sure there is a way for me to reach you, if you win!
  • Giveaway ends Midnight Saturday March 20th.

So, tell me your adventure!

four…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Growing up a little white girl, among a see of hispanic children was both hard, and it wasn’t. I mean, it WAS hard because I always felt like I didn’t fit in. Adding to that the fact that my mother was a smoker and the kids at school always made it a point to acknowledge that I was a Gringo, and stank. It also wasn’t hard though, because it was what I knew. I had no alternative to compare it to.

Childhood leaves us with the funnest memories, doesn’t it?

When I was a teenager I was living in a fundamentalist group home in (then) rural Idaho. Life was the sheltered sort, with the exception being church and youth group at a local “city” church. A mojority of the normal kids at church, living in their normal homes, going to normal schools and eating normal foods thought us group home kids were freaks. To be honest, their parents also saw us as dangers. It was an isolating and pretty scarring existence.

With this package deal attached to my early life development, there was also the personal feelings (SO MANY FEELINGS) that I had about NOT fitting in. Not feeling a part of things, sure. I had essentially been abandoned by my family and lived a daily life of rejection, so those feelings made a lot of sense.

I also didn’t WANT to fit in.

While everyone was listening to what was hot and trendy, following the current of what they believed kids our age were supposed to do, I teetered there, unsure.

Did I follow along, accept and finally achieve belonging?

Did I go with my gut and follow the less worn path of obscure movie tastes and worn out sneakers?

The struggle was real.

I believed the struggle would eventually subside as I matured into a woman, beyond the angsty years of teenagehood. I was wrong.

That eternal quest to belong equated itself with my sense of personal worth so deeply. Knit by (what I believed, at the time) the rejections, abuses and abandonment thematically designing my life, a melancholy hopelessness settled into everything I did.

I went into group home care in 1988.

I walked through that gate and into the real world in 1993.

I became a wife in 1994.

In 2017 I learned that, on the enneagram chart, I am a four.

Fours have big feelings. Fours are creative and artistic. Fours ache to fit in, but also want to dance to their own rhythm. (and their own, non-trend decided tunes) Fours are (likely) the 90’s emo kids. They are the ones not regularly depicted on screen, in film and television because they happen to (probably) be the real life people writing those characters and creating that art.

I embraced my four.

I connected with other fours.

Knowing these things, having these explanations, it’s like the comfort of filling the gaps I’ve lived with, unwhole, for my entire life. It also forces me to see where my flaws lie. The how’s and the why’s.

I am able to know “ok, these are things I’ll do when I’m at my emotional healthiest”, and “these are indications that I need to work some stuff out, because I’m struggling.”

So many times we’ve humorously mumbled about life not having an instruction manual, or people not coming with a guide.

Guess what? We do.

That is literally what the enneagram does for us.

Plainly put, it is EMPOWERING.

Owning our truths helps us with one another too. For instance, I know that if someone on my team is an enneagram two, they will be prone to saying “yes” and people pleasing. Knowing that, and asking a lot of them anyway would be exploitive and selfish. Additionally, being married to an enneagram nine has helped me realize he isn’t passive or apathetic, he is simply prone to not cause ripples. At his unhealthiest, this can be dark and explosive. Knowing these things helps me love and respect him the way he deserves. It helps me see all of him, and love him.

If you don’t know where you’re at, or want to learn more, I strongly recommend the Road Back to You, by Ian Cohn. Also, in this week’s episode of the Collective Podcast, Abbey Howe is hanging out and chatting random ennea-info with us. Her youtube channel Enneagram with Abbey is super fun and informative. (As is Ian Cohn’s podcast!)