For the love of a good film…

I have never been very into sports. Sometimes our American culture can seem so sports obsessed that my disinterest would almost feel like an unpatriotic act of rebellion, but it isn’t like that, I promise! While sports may not always be my thing, shouldn’t it really mean something when a sports movie touches my spirit in a profound way?

There have been films which have left me a weeping mess, such as the Blind Side. Although it could be considered a “sports movie” for me, the profoundness was more about the brokenness and love. Maybe it has little to do with sports at all, and I just get deeply immersed in the heart of what lies underneath. Creed was like that, for me. I went, begrudgingly, because I love Michael B. Jordan and I was stirred so deeply that I still think about this movie regularly, 3 years later. Within it I absorbed so much about courage and hope, during a season in my life which felt very void of those things… That is what makes movies truly special, really. They serve as these illustrations of the spirit we often need to step out in, wherever our own journeys have us. Sure, they entertain us, but the really good ones do something more. In the case of Creed, the threads of redemption, forgiveness, unconditional love and our mortality motivated me to fight for the life I wanted, regardless of those current circumstances. When my family and marriage were a total mess, I was reminded that it would not always look that way and I was not powerless. I will always be grateful for what this story represented.

In just a few days Adonis and Rocky will be here, once again in Creed II. Have you seen the trailer? It gives me chills every single time, I for one can’t wait!

About The Movie (Synopsis)

Life has become a balancing act for Adonis Creed. Between personal obligations and training for his next big fight, he is up against the challenge of his life. Facing an opponent with ties to his family’s past only intensifies his impending battle in the ring. Rocky Balboa is there by his side through it all and, together, Rocky and Adonis will confront their shared legacy, question what’s worth fighting for, and discover that nothing’s more important than family. Creed II is about going back to basics to rediscover what made you a champion in the first place, and remembering that, no matter where you go, you can’t escape your history.  The film releases in theaters on Wednesday, November 21.  #CreedII

What about you? Do you love sports movies? What is your favorite?

Dog Days {of Summer…}

I’ve talked about it here before, but two years ago this month I unexpectedly lost my beloved life companion Paisley. It was a fast, tragic and deeply severing loss. About eight months later I opened my heart up to love an amazingly tiny little blue-tick beagle I lovingly named Knightley and when he died just three months later…

Honestly, even looking back, fourteen months later, I am not sure how I did it. I love the ones I truly love so, so deeply, and dogs are among the deepest… Even though I had only known my sweet Knightley for such a short time, those were a very dependent few months as his health had not always been the best. He needed me so much and he loved me even more. (I hope you never have to put a puppy down, it is a terrible that exceeds so many others…)

BUT… Nearly twelve months ago my husband brought this little nugget home:

And I’ll be honest… I was not ready. She was this ball of love and energy and cuteness and I just did not want her.

Not long after little Miss Elenor became a part of the clan, my husband went on a super long business trip and I had no choice but to spend a lot of quality time with her.

I wanted to resent her.

I wanted to be so annoyed at her high puppy demands and needs, and I was.

But also, I melted… I knew that it was easier not to love her because someday she’d be leaving too, and my heart just maybe couldn’t take anymore sadness.

But then I would laugh at her, because this girl’s personality is LARGE, and I finally caved because I admitted that my heart would be so much better off to love and embrace her…

 

 

I am so thankful for the life, the love, the indescribably happiness and connection that each one of my sweet little fur loves have brought to my life… Through them I have learned TO love outside of myself, to move past loss and heartache and love again. I have learned to laugh when I still feel shattered, and to take time to settle down and snuggle when I really need it, (or they do) and I am so thankful…

DOG DAYS is a hilarious and heartfelt ensemble comedy that follows the lives of multiple dog owners and their beloved fluffy pals.  When these human and canine’s paths start to intertwine, their lives begin changing in ways they never expected.  This is a sweet film about the joy our furry friends bring into our lives and what they can teach us about treating people with kindness and compassion.  DOG DAYS releases in theaters in August 8.

I would love to hear about any dogs in your life, that you’ve loved! You could win a gift card to show them (or yourself) a little love!

I’ll show you my brave…

www.rainydayinmay.com

Brave to you will likely look very different then it does to me…

I was recently challenged to consider the bravest thing I have done. I thought, instead, of all of the courage and bravery I have seen in the people I know and love. I have friends who have literally chased down muggers/assailants. I have law enforcement friends. I have inner-city-teacher friends. I know several people who travel the world, adventuring into unknown and remote locations… (I recently read a story about an Anaconda, in the Amazon, that stalked someone in the water. It STALKED them. Snakes are in the wild, unknown and remote locations. This is a problem for me.)

My sister Joy lives in a beautiful home in south-eastern New Mexico. (she also has snakes who stalk and intrude on her life) My son is a soldier, as are so many friends. I know a beautiful soul who is a surrogate. The list goes on and on. I see bravery demonstrated so regularly and, when I look at myself, I feel like there is no comparison.

And therein lies the issue. There IS no comparison. My brave won’t look like yours. While it may have been brave for me to fight for my marriage and stand by my husband after infidelity and betrayal, it may be brave for another woman to walk away from a similar situation… And that is the thing about courage- no one else gets to decide it. A soldier, in and of itself, does not make them brave. A soldier who is willing to protect us and fight for what is right, even if it costs him his life- THAT is the brave part. Courage and selflessness in the face of danger is their brave. We can define ourselves a thousand ways, but brave will never be located in the title.

My brave can be found in my pursuit of motherhood long after I lost my uterus. I was shattered, but did not give up.

My brave can be seen within the moves I’ve made, the jobs I’ve taken.

My brave is there, beyond my comfort zone. In the once-awkward situations, the stranger-conversations, the elements of life just beyond my natural limit. I have grown to push myself there, into that place. Sometimes it is downright nauseating.

My brave is rooted deep, in my writing. To be authentic, raw and displayed does not come naturally, but it is the only way that it feels right.

My brave may have been born the day that I realized it was up to me to stop the patterns of sexual abuse that were happening within my childhood. There was no shame, only a concrete knowledge that the more  people I told, the less likely it was to happen again.

I told everyone.

It never happened again.

Perhaps the most ironic part of each one of those things though, is that they never felt brave. They often felt woven with elements of worry, anxiety and more than a healthy sprinkling of fear. Second guessing was my second nature during the seasons that, upon reflection, reveal themselves as brave. Bravery often makes me feel like I need to throw up, pass out, curl up in my bed and hide… The list goes on and on, but never have I though Woah! Now that, Misty, that was one mighty fine act of bravery! And it’s pretty unfair for me to hold myself to another soul’s standard of bravery before I’m willing to label it is as such.

Maybe you scale rocky mountainside’s for fun, eat nails for breakfast and only date psycho clowns- if so, my list probably seems pretty mild to you. (I’d also like to point out that two of those three things aren’t brave, they are reckless and that’s not actually always a fine line. Sometimes it is a gigantic 8-lane interstate.)

I don’t know when I’m brave, always.

I am pretty sure I could sit here and list out the ten-thousand ways I have felt and acted the opposite, just this month.

I’m working on accepting my brave for what it is. I’m learning I don’t need my neighbor, brother, husband or friend to call it brave, for it to be. Most importantly though, I know to my core that I need the brave list to be growing longer, by the day, while the other list grows smaller and smaller…

So that’s my plan.

(Minus any and all snakes, anyway.)

What has your brave looked like?

 

The Wednesday Podge…

Hello and happy Wednesday to you!
I wasn’t sure if I’d be doing the Hodge link up this week, to be honest. I’m “nursing” a bit of a mysterious back injury and coming down off of a spring cold, which my husband generously shared…
One would think that a writer, suddenly forced to stay as “down” as possible would suddenly have so much time to work, but this is the first time I’ve been at my laptop since Saturday, and I think I was probably paying a bill then, not writing… The moral of this week’s story is that I am nauseated from the pain most of the time, and pretty miserable. There hasn’t been any reading, any writing. It’s a little sad.
If you’re new to this and you’re wondering what in this world this Hodgepodge thing is all about, every Tuesday six questions are posted over at From This Side of the Pond, and on Wednesday those of us participating answer them, link up and then visit one another. I’ve “met” some very lovely writers like this, and it is fun to participate when I can!

1. What happens to the mail at your house? I ADORE handwritten cards and letters, and still have a few friends who share the affection. Those gems are treasured, by me. The majority of our mail is garbage, and since we live in an area without recycling- (I know the controversy around it all, anyway) the junk just gets tossed.

2. Something you always splurge on? Any guilt associated with the splurge? Oh! This is a great question… Hmmm. I always have money on my Starbucks app, even though I don’t particularly like their coffee. Sometimes I spend a good chunk of time, in a day, out and their refreshers and teas are a nice treat. With the app I earn points towards free drinks… No guilt associated with the splurge as much as just habit. I also spend money on skin care and make up. Actually, even more than these things are blowouts. IF I HAD MY WAY, I would get one a week. They are HEAVENLY, but I tend to get them when I can. It is a splurge indeed, but it also makes my life easier. I do feel guilty, sometimes, because it seems indulgent.

3. There are many, but what are two important questions you think every bride and groom should ask/answer before they plan their walk down the aisle? One- “You know yourself better than anyone else, should a day arise when you suddenly seem to believe you never loved me and you want out of our marriage, what do you want me to say to you to anchor you in and bring you back down to reality?” Two- “What are off limit or uncomfortable topics for you?” Because partners NEED to be able to talk about everything…

4. What’s the best advice your father ever gave you? My foster dad probably gave me a lot of great advice and wisdom but there isn’t one particular thing that stands out.

5. Your favorite movie where a father features heavily in the storyline? I really love the movie Frequency. it has been a long time since I’ve seen it though, so while I remember a father weight, I’d have to say that my absolute favorite movie that features heavy fatherhood themes would be Elizabethtown.Being a girl who was raised without a father, and with a super abusive/unhealthy father figure until I was 12 and went into foster care, it’s not a subject I really relate to. This is probably pretty evident in these choices… (I also really love A Love Song for Bobby Long which is a pretty obscure father film, but it stands out for me.)

6. Insert your own random thought here. This weekend, on Father’s Day, my beautiful grand-daughter will turn 2. My mother just turned 71 last week, and on Monday my little sister turned 39. My older daughter turned 28 a few days ago. While none of these are the typical milestone ages, I find myself feeling really overwhelmed with these numbers. Perhaps it is that I am away from that sweet baby girl, my daughter and also my sister. Maybe, even though I can see my mother any time I want, Alzheimer’s has kind of taken her away too. Maybe these life celebrations just feel increasingly heavier as the distance between us feels overwhelmingly permanent. Thankfully my daughter will be here this weekend and I get the chance to love on her with a bit of a belated birthday love…

Fly, Fly Away…

www.rainydayinmay.com

Five Minute Friday is upon us again, and this is where I’d love to put some clever remark about time going so quickly- especially with the writing prompt for today! The truth is that, for me, this week has seemed to last forever… If this is your first time seeing a Five Minute Friday post, our lovely host Kate gives a writing prompt, we free flow write for 5 minutes and then link up with others. Now that we all know what’s happening here, lets begin:

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This week’s prompt made me cringe a little, to be honest. I am a little surprised that I reacted that way.

As the word danced around my mind I saw, in slow motion, the transition it took. From my distaste for flying in air planes, to the unwanted summer pests that grate my nerves. My mind began to play, like a jukebox paid by suggestion, the Foo Fighters. As if bleeding slowly, through it all, a remorse seeped in over the lack of funds available to buy the airline tickets I really should buy.

A trip to the Southwest to see dear family friends… And endless supply of tickets to Seattle to spend time with my son, his beautiful wife and their captivating little daughter…

She turns two next weekend, and though I adore her and feel so absolutely blessed to be her mimi, I daily grow to despise this distance between us so much.

This, of course, brings me to time.

Time flies.

Long weeks aside, it truly does… A baby born turns two and the minutes I have spent with her are nominal- and she doesn’t even really know my voice.

And this makes me sad…

Does my time pass quickly on the current of sadness? Sad songs, sad distance, sad news, sad expenses, sadness over the growing list of things I truly desire to do, and do not.

Does the flow which is joy driven move more swiftly, or is it easier traveling that way, to savor and take the lovely in? Perhaps the sadness is just easier because it is more honest? I imagine that raft is simpler to board.

And maybe I just have attention deficit, unable to stay on one track, to focus on one aspect of this word which I am tasked to write today- instead a parade of perspectives fly with the speed of light, through my mind.

{Fun fact, which made me smile- Black and Blue Bird, a new song by Dave Matthews, came on while I was writing this. As I was typing the words, he sang the speed of light. These are the little God-nod moments which I tuck into my heart to carry with me.}

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Thanks for stopping by! On Fridays I put out a weekly email. The writing is a bit more personal and I share a list of the five things I really loved this week, along with some exclusive content/news that will only be shared there. It is one of my favorite parts of friday because the interactions that happen with my subscribers is the best! If you don’t get my Friday email, you absolutely should! AND, for subscribing you get a free guide to embracing your story and a self-care guide! It’s a win/win, plus it helps me connect with you, which is why we’re here in the first place, isn’t it??

(Speaking of personal… Episode 6 of the Collective podcast is live! We’re chatting with Maegy as she shares her journey through being adopted, dealing with attachment issues and transitioning into being a mom and wife. Authentic and beautiful, our little Collective community is so glad she shared!)