I have procrastinated this July lesson post because I’m just not in the mood. I’m tired. I’m stressed. In these two ways, I am just like the majority of us… I get it. This month felt long, short, and like it dragged on forever while it also somehow sped by in a blink. My biggest adult lesson may eternally be that the passage of time makes no sense. I thought I was getting the hang of it until 2020 hit and messed us all up.
I learned that I may get super tired of drinking water so often, but when our water cooler died I became a woman who has never craved water more… make it make sense.
I took our dog Elenor and our cat Darcy to the vet this month. They each needed vaccinations and our vet is a bit of a drive. What’s the big deal? I thought… The cat is in a carrier. It will be fine. It, in fact, was very barely fine and I’m still regretting the decision days later. I learned never to do that again. Separate visits and making the drive twice are the new way to go.
I’ve been planning my book launch event, in another state. It seemed easy enough, but it turns out it is very complicated and the next time I plan to travel home, it will not be for an event. I’ve learned my lesson.
I released a small number of book boxes for my up-and-coming memoir Girls, Assassins & Other Bad Ideas. I am obsessed with this activity–it’s safe to say it is bringing me life right now… BUT while I figured I’d planned far more than would sell, it turns out I didn’t plan near enough. I am deeply touched, ecstatic, and humbled by the whole thing. I’ve learned not to sell myself short and to not be afraid to go for it. (May we all learn this lesson!)
I’ve learned to do the spontaneous thing sometimes. I have practiced spontaneity in several areas of my life this month and haven’t regretted it yet. In fact, it made the best memories!
July Bests…
Movie (New): NOPE
Movie (Older): Red Dawn
TV Binge: Stranger Things 4:2
Read: Every Summer After by Carley Fortune… Pretty predictable but also nostalgic, fun, and a great summer read.
So many years ago, (it’s hard to believe how many at this point) I was introduced to this growingly popular YA novel called Twilight. I wish that I’d heard it was about vampires and thought “yeah, that’s not for me” but the truth would have been (and still is) that vampires will always be up my alley. The super bizarre thing for me was honestly picking up a book to read at all, even when I had no clue what it was about. I hadn’t read for fun in years. I was testing non-fiction books for Harper Collins and blogging full-time. I was so far removed from the literary world that I had no idea what sort of fiction books existed beyond mysteries and Harlequin romance–neither of which had ever appealed to me.
After some intrigue at a few bloggers I followed raving about Twilight, I grabbed a copy. I didn’t sleep, or do much of anything, for two days. I couldn’t put it down. After reluctantly packing our family for vacation, I ran to the bookstore to purchase the second book of the (then) trilogy. While I hadn’t been much of a reader, at that point in my life, it is also important to note I had always suffered from car sickness. Even so, I read the second book, New Moon, as we drove throughout the mountainous Pacific Northwest. The Twilight world had sucked me in and I was unable to think of anything else. You’d think my family would have been annoyed, but they thought it was funny. They especially got a chuckle out of us having to detour our trip through Portland so that I could grab my copy of the newly released third book Eclipse.
It was somewhere into the first chapters of Eclipse that I found myself a passenger in a car with friends, as we navigated a mountainous road that was thick with heavy trees, at actual twilight. My mind began to wander at what was watching us, waiting, in the black line of those trees? I thought about the Quileute wolf legends existing in a heavily forested region with one of the highest “big foot” sightings… could it be?
Around this mountain side we traveled as the shadows chased the irrational wanderings of my mind.
~
Several years before, my first Christmas eve as an adoptive mom found me staring at our daughter as she slept sweetly. The magic of Christmas suddenly meant something completely new, and then out of nowhere panic plunged my insides toward the ground… What if Santa is real? What if this strange, magical being exists and comes sneaking through our home while we sleep?
What if?
What if…
Over the weekend my husband and I were inspired to have a Twilight movie marathon. It was so fun, and I was once again swept up in the memory of these life changing books… life changing because they inspired me to fall in love with reading again, and in doing so they inspired me to think deeper than the surface level I’d been handed–deeper than the very one-dimensional level I’d been writing at in my professional life.
The revisit, though thoroughly nostalgic and entertaining also made me think about that mountain drive, and that first Christmas eve. My mind began to think about fear. Then this morning I came across a news story about an asteroid sailing past earth and another report about the dangerous weather expected to kill many and render areas of the world disaster zones this summer. In even skimming each headline I felt that same fear pop its head in for a minute.
Fear.
We are living in a weird time when so many fear-motivated tragedies are happening on a daily basis. Instead of vampires and Christmas elves though, these fears are based in viruses, vaccinations, political powers, religion, sexuality, gender identity, skin tones, and on and on and on… any difference that divides us is connected to a fear-motivated tragedy that has taken place in recent days. The biggest difference between these fears and the fictional ones is it might just be a bit harder to call them irrational when the things we fear are really here. They aren’t possibly hiding in the shadows, but instead they are everywhere. Also everywhere are the printed and spoken stories about why we should fear them.
At the end of the day they are still stories. Whether it’s a fear of whats in the shadows, or a fear of something real in the world that you’ve been told is scary, we still have the opportunity to surrender to the boogeyman and let that fear control us. What if we didn’t?
What if we pushed past the fear and listened to someone outside of our normal scary-story-circle?
What if we tried to connect with someone else, something else?
What if we pushed past the usual sense of nausea we get from being a passenger in the car, and immersed ourselves in an experience so different than our normal, every day one?
I know March Madness refers to College Basketball but honestly isn’t March really one of the most unpredictable months? I love March… Many of my favorite people were born in March. I was born in March. Spring teases us with color in March, before Winter comes popping in to let us know she’s not quite through with us yet… But also, March has always carried this odd , unpredictable energy.
For example, while I’m not one to usually fall down the stairs, if I did, it would happen in March.
Listen, it DID happen in March and it was brutal. My tail bone was solid black and later that day I had seven hours of airplane travel to endure. Not the best day ever… We hadn’t been planning a trip, it just rapidly unfolded and suddenly we were packing a suitcase to share. My husband had just been in Idaho for a family emergency some weeks before and realized he now has air travel anxiety and would prefer to never fly again. I hadn’t flown since the end of 2019, and so my anxiety wasn’t loving the idea of it either. All of the videos filled with difficult people on planes and in airports were what I stressed about… but it was fine. It was all fine. His anxiety was a bit rocky and I felt bad for him. Also, my tailbone kept me teetering between sobbing like a small child and wanting to jump from the plane… but it was fine.
We were fine.
We made it, and life was good. And while we were traveling something wonderfully magical happened! I was able to share the book cover for my impending release Girls, Assassins, and Other Bad Ideas. (August 22, 2022 through Burning Soul Press)
I’m absolutely in love with this cover! IN LOVE!
I was also reminded that in the midst of so much divisiveness there are still people who can disagree about things like religion, politics, and vaccines and yet somehow still manage to share civil conversations and respect for one another. This glimpse of the old-world ways really caught me off guard… it was beautiful. While I believe the things I do, these beliefs are mine based on my experiences and knowledge. Who am I to tell you your stance is wrong simply because you haven’t traveled the same journey I have?
I hope this becomes a trend and we can once again aspire to be bridge builders…
This month, in addition to my book cover, celebrating birthdays, and a few fun little day trips to Cleveland and Pittsburgh, I also published my first guided journal/workbook, Cupcake, a Guided Companion for Cake. (Cake is my ebook guide published last year.)
All in all, amidst the craziness and complete busyness that was March, it was a beautiful month. Perhaps the first truly beautiful month from start to finish, that I remember having for so long… I’ve had conversations in the past day or two with others who feel the same. This has to be a sign right– that things are finally changing?
Maybe I’m just being hopeful… then again, I guess that beats the alternative.
Back in the Fall, my husband and I had planned a mini-weekend trip. We have season passes to a fairly popular amusement park, in Ohio, and decided to spend a Saturday there, and then hit up Costco on Sunday morning, while coming home.We LOVE Costco. Before we moved to Pennyslvania, Costco was our weekly source of organic produce and misc. foods. We miss it, a lot.
Amusement parks are pretty amazing, aren’t they? If you love rides, they are made for you. If you love ridiculously overpriced (and mega unhealthy) fair-style food- ALSO for you. If you love live performances, sometimes random in nature, this is your scene. As an empath and an observer, I love the energy of amusement parks. There is so much adrenaline and thrill induced JOY. Sometimes, simply walking through the park, I am in awe of the priceless memories and moments being made. Countless people, all coming from vastly different places in life, together for something GOOD. I love it!
We were so excited to go! We’d made sure our dog, Elenor was cared for. We made sure we would return from our trip exhausted, but welcomed by a clean home. We had done all of the things that one is supposed to do… As we crawled into bed, the night before, I quietly said something so off-the-wall strange-
“I don’t know if I’m more excited about the amusement park, or Costco!” I had said it to be funny, but it was also true. What I didn’t expect was for my husband’s face to contort into a surprised understanding as he exclaimed “I know! I keep thinking the same thing!”
The first time those words had made their way into my brain, I felt pretty stupid. Warehouse stores are known for being anti-minimalism and promoting a consumer culture of MORE. Neither my husband nor I ascribe to that culture of accumulating simply because. Even so, my brain chided me for being materialistic. My husband is my life partner. We have shared everything over the past twenty-six years, including some pretty hellish experiences, and yet- yet, I found myself hesitant to admit that silly truth, to him.
The next day, we sat in the car for far longer than either of us wanted. Beyond the trip there, the park was shut down due to being over capacity, and this was AFTER we’d sat in bumper to bumper traffic for HOURS, just waiting to get in. We were both working overtime to maintain a sense of patience and adventure, but our will was fading. Oddly enough, the one thing that our forced conversation and banter returned to again and again was our optimism for Costco, the next day. We had connected over something SO silly, and that connection got us through a frustrating time.
Life is hard, and marriage is no exception. We live in a society OBSESSED with wedding culture, but the general attitude of marriage tends to be akin to death. It’s sad really, because, despite how hard it can be, marriage can be rewarding in the way that no other relationship is. There is not another person on the planet I would rather have travelled through the pits of hell with, just like there isn’t anyone else who I would willingly have gone through the stages of hangry with, when it seemed our fun adventure was a bust…
We eventually left the line, and went back to our room. We were disappointed, while each trying to act like it was OK, because it was an adventure. Eventually we made our way to a great little waterfront place for dinner, and as we decided to walk along the twilight pier, after our meal, I noticed headlights on the road leading to the park.
Dare we? I asked… I knew he was frustrated and I was certain he’d say no. Instead he shrugged and said, why not?
We did, and it was really fun! We had five fun filled, night time hours. We met truly fascinating people, each of us having our own stories to share about the day the park shut down. It was an awesome adventure, and we can’t wait to do it again! None of it had gone as planned, but because we opened up to each other (even about the trivial and embarrassing stuff) it went better than we could have imagined. Marriage is like that too… It requires honesty, vulnerability and sticking out the inevitable frustrations. It isn’t easy, but it is SO worth it.
In the end, it is the little things that bring about human connection. The shared interests and experiences. That is the very foundation of our relationships. The big moments matter, but it is the little things that make the life.
If you’re curios, Costco was AMAZING! Equally as fun, (no, I’m not exaggerating) I give it a 10 out of 10.
It has been ages since I’ve sat down and really focussed on an intentional post within this space, so I’m just going to pretend we’re in the middle of an exchange, okay?
Sure, summer is technically 20+ days away, but we who live within the confines of an Americanized calendar operate under the summer system of Memorial Day to Labor Day, and truthfully I’m a fan of this practice. The bright blue sky outside hardly screams SPRING, and with my freshly summer pedicured toes red and ready for sandy beaches and flip flops- I am more than happy to stand up and say what we’re all thinking: Helloooo, Summer!
For the 4000 Jurassic years that I have existed within adulthood, (for the Ross Gellar’s out there pointing out the flaws in my wording, I’m pretty sure you caught my drift so, as far as I’m concerned, mission accomplished! XO) I have had specific practices that summertime has held:
Fresh squeezed lemonaide, BBQs with friends/family, swimming, my grandma’s cobbler, warm jars of sun tea, red toenails, fireflies, long summer evenings the highest SPF of sunscreen allowed (I’m irish, after all), drive in movies and dreaming of real beach time- these made up the bulk of said summer lists…
As summer draws near, in between adulthood stresses of work and life, I have been plotting my summer reading plans. We have gotten our sunroom all ready and have been enjoying early morning cups of coffee, fresh fruit snacks and conversation in its breezes. The smell of fresh cut grass wafts through my window screens and there are cubes of cold watermelon in my fridge. Our summer plans are casual, yet carved out. (these may or may not read like this: grilled tacos, beach, grilled fajitas, beach, margaritas on the patio, hiking, beach, farmers market, beach, drive in movies, tacos, tacos, tacos…)
The really fun thing about our new home, and this being our first summer here, is that it is a SUMMER DESTINATION. Life amps up and, from what we can tell, the party gets started right about now, and wraps up around snowfall. Friends have told us all about all of the “musts”, and we are ready!
The not-so-fun, but still kinda-fun thing about our new home is that while we live at a truly beautiful beach, it isn’t the ocean. I know my heart will still long for a true sea coast, but also, I’m feeling really blessed to have this beach too.
in ALL of my adult summers, I have spent weekends at the Farmer’s Market and kept beautiful, fresh flowers in my home. Whatever we may, or may not have taken on that summer, these two things were SOLID. This is where the truly odd thing about our new home comes in-
NO FARMER’S MARKETS
NO FRESH CUT FLOWERS
Sure, re: the later, grocery stores have some. Honestly though, it’s the worst selection I’ve ever seen and they are 3-4 times the normal price. Re: the first absense- what the actual heck? Truthfully, I cannot wrap my brain around it. We are surrounded by farms. SURROUNDED. Word on the street (iow: the World Wide Web) is that there is a decent market about 90 minutes away. NINETY MINUTES. (While my heart wants to take a moment to whine about my grandma’s cobbler recipe, our summer-staple homemade ice creams, and my end of summer (most delicious ever) jam, the reality is our grocery stores do an amazing job of stocking local, organic produce. While it’s a bit spendier than the average Farmer’s Market, I am still really grateful for this so I simply can’t actually complain about it.) I just really love the experience of the market, with the community, farmers and artisans coming together… (plus then our local taco truck could set up somewhere other than a pub or brewery…)
For all the terribleness of these two things, I’ve still mustered up excitement at summer in our new city. There are a few road trips planned, lots of adventure and exploring, and both my patio & sunroom are prepared to be well lived/loved… Probably (tragically) my house is going to stay fairly flowerless, with my treasured Kate Spade vase feeling alone- but my toes plan on being sandy and my taco-loving-tummy happy, so it feels like a win for me.
What do you love about summer? Where are your favorite places to summer?
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