First things first…

This is the dreariest of Mondays, both inside and out… 
Outside our windows, wet winter drizzle tries to drown happiness and warmth. 
Inside our windows there is sickness, stress and worry over legal proceedings, life choices and the future. 
There is some grieving over the death of our wii. 
There is news of childhood suicides, which breaks my heart. (To clarify, the deaths are not of people our family knows directly, but it’s sad all the same.) 
Inside feels overwhelming and stuff, like I can’t breathe. I want to throw open the windows and let fresh air in. 
But, yeah… 
So, this is pathetically me, asking you to send your good vibes our way because we could sure use them today… 
And also, some tummy soothing tea, if you don’t mind. 
Thanks! 
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Sugar Sugar…

I don’t know why I’ve spent the great part of this year, {ha ha ha} using cheesy song titles of bad references to head my blog. I want to be sorry, but truthfully whenever I see that empty title line- these are the only things that come to mind… 
anyway, moving on. 
In December my best friend was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Dealing with debilitating migraines for the whole of her life, and a strange iron issue which left her nearly fighting for her life a couple of years back, this was a major shock. My biological father is a diabetic so this is something I keep a close eye on. My glucose levels remain fine, as do cholesterol and everything else, but I knew this was going to mean some big changes for her and I promised to journey along side her as she changed her life. 
Life has a funny sense of humor though, because unbeknownst to me- a week later Chw was routinely tested for insurance purposes at work and is borderline Type 2. 
So, now I’ve got no choice… 
Any tips? 
We eat pretty healthy already… Chw has a major sweet tooth though and loves things like TJ’s JOJOs, oreos, and girl scout cookies… He has been known to spend more evenings than not with a bowl of them and a glass of ice cold milk… 
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and…

It’s a lot- this idea of homeschooling again while working from home… And striving for health… and… and… and. 
AND! 
I am overwhelmed, folks… 
There is A LOT going on right now, in our lives… It’s a good time, for sure, to have Genny back home. We kicked off our “semester” yesterday, trying out a new co-op. It was WAY different than the other two we’ve done, but not bad. Just different. 
I open my blog and the curser just flashes at me. I have no idea what to say, or how to respond to it’s demanding my attention NOW. 
I don’t know what to say. 
I am unsure of the future, but then again, who isn’t? 
I am nervous about taking this on… but then again who wouldn’t be? 
I feel overwhelmed… 
AND? 
Exactly… 
So, deep breaths are happening here. Stressing less than I would have imagined- but mind consumed all the same. Some time ago my friend passed this site on to me, and I am planning to utilize it to the hilt, when I have a minute… In the meantime- here is me… 
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Smooth criminal…

This will be but a distant memory, any day now, but at 12:12 a.m., on January 1st, 2012, Chw shaved off his goatee. Back, way forever ago in the mid 90’s, my husband would shave it off and everyone would remark about what a 12 year old he looked like. For a two-fold set of reasons, he stopped shaving it off- (1}he liked the goatee, and 2}he didn’t want to look like a 12 year old) until this past Sunday morning. 
Suffice it to say, that’s a long time to go without shaving. Though kissing smoothness was sort of nice- (and weird because, well, it’s been almost 20 years of kissing facial hair) It was pretty much unanimous that the goatee must return. Even Lucas, over skype, was not impressed with Chw’s sudden smoothness… 
and for the record, he looked older than 37, which he was NOT expecting… 
Genny was the most taken aback by it though… repulsed, one could say… {in her defense, she did spend the day immediately following this moment, throwing up. She rang in the new year with the tummy flu.}

Pretty funny, right? :)
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One…

I can’t even believe it, and yet- I absolutely can… 
Another month, another year. Fresh start. Fresh breath. 
Beginning… 
While I feel content, mostly… Perhaps not as much as i would hope but far more than i was before- i find fingers crossed and hopes high at this thing known as january one. 
first… first of something. 
first of everything. 
one. number one month, number one day to this newness that is not really anything very new at all- except for a clean calendar slate and well- let’s face it- we all know what the Mayans said about that… 
Leave it to me to get my junk figured out right before the timer dings… 
Oh well.
I don’t really subscribe to that anyway… 
Me– 
– I want, no scratch that… i NEED to read at least two books for me. Work aside… for me. I am a better me, a better woman and a far better writer when I read. 
– I need to create. i have a list of paper projects, gift projects and a few slightly more daring furniture projects to work towards. Wish me luck? 
– I plan to see. See the world through the lens of my canon. See films. See people. See life. 
– live life. 
– breathe. Through affirmations. through prayer. through yoga. through calming. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. {Please remind me, should I need it.} 
– and of course- the obvious: WRITE. I must write. there is no “like to” or option here. 
Capture– 
– bowls of soup
– new drink and the year’s first book
– icicles
– winter bundled children
– Kaileigh’s bday
– the tree
– Chw’s smooth newness
– our first meal, this year, as a family
– first snow of the year. (one way, or another)
– snuggles
Us– 
– back to educating… Bittersweet. I’ll look to sweet. I am blessed. I choose cherish. 
– We’ll think on Ecology and Conservation. 
– We’ll strive to manage. Manage time. Manage Money. Manage Goals and possessions. 
– We are starting a new allowance system. I’m excited. Gen’s excited. We’re all excited really. 
– Weekend away. 
– Family dinners. Conversing. Love. Support. 
– We delve into classic literature, again, together. 
– We step out and make friends. We try new things. We journey. We cherish. We breathe. {Must continue remembering…}
– focus locally. local shops. local restaurants. businesses owned by people, who work in love for real people. 
– community. outreach. volunteer. serve. 
Heart– 
– i forgive. Me. Others. Life. 2011. Me. Me. Me… Always me, me who damages the most. 
– breathe. 
– pray. 
– read. 
– love. 
– community. outreach. volunteer. serve. {rinse and repeat…}
– sleep. 
Home– 
– organize for schooling. Creative, practical and simple spaces. 
– stock up our tea supply. We’ve dwindled it down. 
– discard the excessive. 
– restock and organize pantry for better feeding of loved family.
– dance in the kitchen, laugh at the table. We need this, everyday. 
– cook together. 
– loosen the kitchen reins. 
Health
– no soda. none. I’ve done it before. I’m doing this again. 
– cut back on wheat. a lot. 
– swim. 
– move. move in ways which help me love myself, not in ways in which I dread. 
– sleep. 
– breathe. {this is feeling repetitive.}
Love– 
– hold hands. 
– respect him. Consciously. Authentically. 
– kiss. 
– cook for him. 
– fold his socks. {which i hate to do.} 
– date him, and when we are dating- see him genuinely. 
– listen to him. 
– listen to him breathe. 
– recognize, remember and respect that he needs him time too. not for work, not with us in tow. 
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