Category: marriage

Why hello, twenty-twelve…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments
Not much of a fan of resolutions, I do like to give each year a theme and make a list of goals. {2009 was Simplicity, 2010 was Happiness, 2011 was living Authentically…} 
If you’ve been reading here long, it probably won’t surprise you that my theme for 2012 is: 
Health
By health, of course, I mean body/spirit/mind/relationships… 
After spending an entire week off, with Chw and the girls (granted, Amanda had to work, but I didn’t- which was my point) i’ve been thinking a lot about my goals in the year to come. With one girl heading off for training  education and adventure- and another one entering her teens- 2012 is sure to be a WILD ride of a year… 
Me and my health: 
– Cut back on wheat significantly, if not entirely. 
– Be more proactive with my naturopath. 
– lose at least one pound per week. 
Personal: 
– read, at least, one book a month FOR ME… 
– spend quiet/personal/devotional time, daily. 
– learn new things. 
– proceed fearlessly. 
– act intentionally, in everything. 
Professional: 
– Put an ending to Liar, and edit it. 
– QUERY!!!
– Attend a Writer’s Conference. 
– Be more disciplined about clearly dividing my work-at-home time and my home time. 
Financial: 
– Pay down debt significantly. 
– Increase my contributions. 
– Give more, and regularly. 
– Spend more thoughtfully/justifiably. 
Marital: 
– Plan with, dream with, talk with, pray with Chw- weekly. 
– Retreat, for a weekend, over both anniversaries. (April and November) 
– Conscience, constant efforts to respect him. 
As a Mother: 
– laugh with. 
– pray for.
– once again, educate.
– make effort to bridge the distance gaps. 
– make the in-present moments matter. 
As for hopes, I really hope that 2012 holds- 
– a book deal, (of course)!
– a vacation. 
– time with all three of my kids, together, in one location. 
– 365 days of everyone in my family remaining safe in body, heart and mind.
– less hardship and struggles than the last 3 years have held, for our family and extended family.
Do you have goals, hopes and plans for the new year? 
post signature

a touch of Christmas sadness…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments
i’m watching the Bishop’s Wife while catching up on some things computer related… Is it wrong that I want Cary Grant to win and I think her husband is a putz? Probably… Oh well. I don’t care. Cary Grant will ALWAYS win, in my book… 
Have I ever told you that for my golden birthday (28th) my husband threw me a 1950’s style Cary Grant dinner party? It was AMAZING! Truly incredible… One of the best nights of my life, for sure… 
My husband… He is quite the man. As sick as I have been, in the past 5 months, he really has been amazing to pick up the slack with pretty much NO HELP. He works tirelessly for a company that claims to notice, but doesn’t seem to. He gives and gives and gives and truly remains the nicest and most giving guy. 
My point is pretty much that my husband is my Christmas wish. That something good happens for him. Something really, really good. He deserves it. the last 4 years have been SO HARD on him and I see how much they’ve taken their toll on him. These days he is tired and my heart just breaks for him. It feels like nothing happens easily for him (especially where work is concerned- and as far as work goes- he’s been moved into the position of work consuming 95% of his energy/time) and I see him getting more and more ready to just give up a bit. I hate the thought of him being in the position…
in a lot of ways the Bishop’s Wife is making me think of that. Unlike her putz of a husband though, Chw is my leading man. Even if the angel of Cary Grant rang my door bell tomorrow- Chw is the one for me. I would express my heart for my husband though, and continue wishing that the corner to turn, is in site soon… 
post signature

Tin… Ten… Rings…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments
It is a bit of a backwards world we live in when the honorable gift for ten years of busting one’s proverbial ass in a reconciled marriage, while also becoming parents (HARDEST JOB EVER!) and all through a craptastic economy too, is symbolized in tin and/or aluminum. 
Because, you know, what deserves a gigantic ball of wadded up Reynold’s wrap? That run on sentence, and NOT my marriage… 
That’s ok though. I mean, it is a completely acceptable gift for one naive 18 year old to give another naive 18 year old a ridiculously overpriced diamond, which they likely went into debt for… But ten year anniversary of your trip to hell and back? Tin-foil. Boo. Boo you, tradition. Boo you! {Think hag in the Princess Bride because THAT is what I was going for…}
My awesome husband took me to a super delish, fancy schmancy dinner and later closed the evening with an ultra romantic dessert of fondue at my all time favorite place with it’s super sexy lighting and ambiance. It was a great night. It was tin free. And Aluminum free. In fact, had our waiter attempted to bring us our leftovers in the shape of a foil crafted swan, I would have thrown it in his face and demanded Styrofoam because I respect my marriage that much… 
In our nearly eighteen years (total) of marriage though, we’ve never given ourselves gifts. It never felt a priority. Wait, this is not true. Back in 2007 when Chw and I were in the midst of the great Anniversary date debate– {meaning I believed we should celebrate our initial date and he wanted our reconciliation date- end result being never celebrating anything…} and he tried to woo me to his side with fancy gifts like roses and T & Co. jewelry… I played fair though, and gave him nothing and I won anyway. Well, technically we both won. In the manner of fairness, we chose that year to begin to celebrate on both dates… {only moderately embarrassed that it took us six years to get to that point.} 
Anyway, the whole entire, convoluted point of this post was to tell you that we replaced our wedding rings this year. I realize how wonderfully expensive that sounds, especially following the mention of my T & Co. necklace… Alas’, I LOVE our rings, and they were anything but expensive.

 “I am yours…”
“You & Me” 
{and on the inside, “Always”}
But they are unique, super cool, handmade and best of all- we can be certain no one’s life was lost in the making of said rings. :) I LOVE THEM!!!! 
post signature

My honey, my baby- don’t put my love upon no shelf…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
If you read yesterday, you surely know about Girl’s proposal adventures… 
This tale picks years after the wedding in the old church. Years after Boy and Girl found a cozy cottage to make their home. Quite some time, in fact, after Boy decided to leave Girl and things turned again flat. 
Flat and lonely. 
And Girl grew up, and found herself. She learned that she loved things (like Death Cab for Cutie and hot dogs at baseball games.) Girl learned to be happy, for happiness sake and not because someone else loved, wanted or needed her or her milk… 
But Boy came back and things got better. Boy Boy and Girl realized happily ever after isn’t real, and both Boy and Girl learned to appreciate that. And in time, they decided to get married again. Together they ring shopped, wanting a fresh start. Together they were discouraged by cost versus quality- and what it all meant in the long run anyway. They wanted to focus on the important things, not the superficial so finally they chose the best quality set- for the lowest price. Boy proposed by kneeling at her doorstep, the new ring hidden within a rose. 
Both Boy and Girl truthfully hated the new rings. They were ugly and represented nothing about them. Still though, they reminded each other about true beauty, love and gratitude. Secretly though, one January day when a band of thieves in the grand forest (we’ll just call it Las Angeles, you know, hypothetically) robbed Girl of her wedding set- she was a little relieved. While she loved Boy with her whole heart, she’d felt wicked and superficial despising the rings and was glad they were gone. 
Also secretly, though he’d never say it- Girl suspected Boy was jealous that his wedding band hadn’t been stolen too… 
post signature

That’s when she told me the story ’bout free milk and the cow…

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment
Girl picked out her own engagement ring. 
At seventeen years of age, swept up in the romantic idea of belonging to someone as amazing as boy, it was so easy to be naive about everything that lay ahead. When Girl’s family and friends remarked that she shouldn’t even see the ring before the great-big-secret proposal, Girl laughed heartily at their old fashioned ways… 
Boy took girl to the location of their very first date, and popped the question. Girl said yes, of course. Girl happily wore the ring she’d chosen, though secretly she felt like everything suddenly felt flat. Flat proposal. Flat ring. Flat. Where was the elation, the wonder, the magic? Certainly not there in that dollar theater- (hey, Boy and Girl were poor college students, where’d you think their first date would be?) and certainly in the although beautiful diamond ring which she’d picked out. 
Flat. 
Bickering began between them soon there after. Their once seemingly cozy village felt suffocating. Also, no one had ever really talked to Girl about the story regarding free milk and the cow. Though she knew her small world encouraged no sharing of her cow’s milk until after she was wed- she never understood why, so since she loved boy she generously shared milk and let’s just say- Boy was not lactose intolerant. 
Eh hem… anyway, the bickering turned to fighting, the fighting turned to breaking up and suddenly everything that had felt flat and nothing at all like the movies or books described- was finally gone. 
Lot’s of things happened to lead to weeks and weeks down the road, when Girl and friend had gone to a program in an old, historic church where Girl dreamed of being a bride someday. With friends of his own, (conspiracy?) Boy ended up there too. 
Throughout the program, Boy and Girl found eye contact before sitting beside each other. 
They found sitting beside each other before I’m sorry. 
They found I am sorry before he took her hand and slipped into her palm a little note. There, drawn at the top of the note was her ring. Below it, simply said “Marry me?” Beneath that were two boxes, one for yes and one for no. 
And there they were… The elation, the magic and the wonder. 
Girl glowed! 
Girl checked yes… 
post signature