Category: marriage

The Vow…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments
One day Krickitt Carpenter said a humble little prayer. She knew that there was an amazing story resting in the details of her life and her marriage- and she knew that it was a story the world needs to know. That story grossed $41.7 million last weekend, to the surprise of even the studio executives. 
Ten weeks after their walk down the aisle, Kim and Krickitt Carpenter were in a severe car accident. Krickitt suffered extensive brain trauma and as a result, lost a significant amount of her memory- including any recollection of her husband at all. Today, twenty years later they are happily married with two children. Regardless of what the film does or doesn’t portray about their journey back to marital bliss- anyone who has ever said “I do” knows just a touch of how hard that would be. 
If any two people ever had a legitimate reason to walk away from a marriage- it is them. 
But they did not. 
In an era where marriage is taken so lightly that just over 50% of people admit to thinking about their next wedding or spouse within a year of their aisle march- the commitment the Carpenters had is a little challenging to comprehend. 
“I did not fall back in love with my husband right away. It wasn’t all hearts and flowers. It was hard. I had to make the decision to stay and to try, to work through it, because that is what I had promised God that I would do. Eventually the love did come and today I am very much in love with my husband. Love and marriage are choices…” 
How beautiful is that? 
Truly beautiful… 
Getting to talk with Kim and Krickitt was an amazing experience, for me. I was caught completely off guard by their generosity of spirit and kindness. I was beyond humbled by how supportive they were of a movie that- in it’s details alone- seemed like an entirely different story. Their perspective was very much that it was God’s story to begin with, and that they believed it was told the way it needed to be. 
As Kim talked about how very much alive, non-estranged, and present their parents have been- unlike the movie’s character’s parents- something struck me. Krickitt said a prayer, and thus they handed their story over to God to tell it as it needed to be told. Thankfully Kim and Krickitt’s parents were there beside them and through their journey- but most of us can not relate to that. Most of us do sadly come from the estranged or broken home. So, even though that part of the movie wasn’t accurate- it was likely very necessary. 
With the release of the film, the Carpenter’s book was also re-released. I feel that, although the love story in the movie was lovely- their story is so much more amazing because it is real. I was honestly surprised to read a review posted to amazon that stated-  They’re journey through this hardship seemed not very romantic and loving to say the least…

How sad is that? Though not everyone would feel that way, a good portion of us would. 
And this is the mentality that leads our divorce rates to record highs. When the romance and movie-like-butterfly moments dwindle, we tend to move on. 
And I am sorry but, “Not very loving”? What is love, if it isn’t CHOOSING someone, and standing by them, no matter what- putting them first?
Which is exactly why Kim and Krickitt’s story is so amazing… Both in the book and the movie. A vow is an oath, it is a promise. It exists to be unbreakable. 

It is my sincerest hope that this story paves the path to heal hearts and marriages. I know that it is theirs as well because these are truly kind people. Easily one of the most inspiring couples I’ve ever spoken to… 

Have you seen The Vow, or read their book? 
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Two…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
Me– 
– new schedule. Making sure I survive my days by making my life NOT all Genny centric. it’s tough… 
– Read two books for me. i did it January, but January also had 2 extra days AND didn’t have any visits from Lucas… Maybe i’ll choose 2 short books. :) 
– Friendships. i need to work on this. My three closest friends live nowhere near here… I miss them. I need to focus on building closer friendships. 
– Small Academy awards get together… I’m excited. 
– personal writing… this has got to improve. since it’s a matter of days before Lucas arrives, i figure i’m going to exhibit grace on myself for this… I once heard that if you truly want to be writing, you will be. While I believe it, i also know i TRULY want/need to be- and I’m not. 
– smash book… 
– start working through the Writer’s Book of Days again… I need the diving board. 
Capture– 
-Valentines
– Sweet
– Date Night Dinner
– hello
– See You Later
– Focus Tree
– Roses
– wine (glass or bottle) 
– footballish
– love
Us– 
– Lucas is coming home for leave. CAN NOT WAIT… 
– GREAT movies coming out this month. {!!!}
– good conversations, with friends… good conversations with our family… 
– celebrating the twelfth birthday of my beautiful niece. 
– board games. Our lives need more board games. 
– Electronicless evenings. 
– cell phone less dinners. 
Heart– 
– I’ve found I am getting easily frustrated with my mom and my sister. i really need to work on that without tearing down the vitally constructed boundaries that are there for my sanity. 
– Getting more involved in our church. 
– continuing to volunteer in our community. 
– patience… it’s good for my heart, I hear. And though my physical heart is fine, my soul-heart needs more patience… and a slower acceleration rate to anger. 
Home– 
– there is a bad sort of stressful, hurtful unrest that settled down over our home. For a few reasons the past week has seen a release in that but i am going to work towards making sure that this pattern continues. 
– we have a cool entry way project that i’m hoping we’ll get done this month. SUPER excited about it! 
– entertain once or twice. 
Health–
– our quest to eat whole has been a good one. It’s amazing how much better we feel, in various ways. Less headaches, more consistent energy. The one thing that is really interesting is that we hungry a lot more… I’m guessing that’s a good thing. 
– water. loving water being a part of our time together. Swimming, play… It’s been great. 
– more tea. 
– yoga. Not just talking about yoga. 
– dancing… the Ellen kind. Whenever possible. 
– speaking of dancing- learn the shuffle… 
Love– 
– we don’t do the romantic Valentines thing. i think it’s ridiculous actually. But, we will have a date night in February and i’m excited for that. 
– we’re currently reading through the Sacred Marriage devotional, and I love it. 
– In January life circumstances led us to a lot of quality conversations… I’m grateful to see this pattern continuing. 
– truly kiss, daily. 
– continue finding ways to respect him. 
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On tender…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments
Start…
There is this way in which is hand reaches for mine, this way in which love courses through his fingers as they intertwine with mine. A way in which he kisses my gently, that breathes more life into my sometimes tired spirit than any thing else alive… 
The tenderness that comes from him is something that doesn’t just blossom when boy meets girl. It does not simply click on when vows are taken. It is a thing of wonder that comes with forever of knowing one another. 
There was a day, hands around throat- tempers raging our already stormy seas- when I believed it not possible. 
Such days were early. Young. 
Today is old. Not quite rockers-on-porches old but easily paving the way towards even more tender. 
Surely there’s a reason growing old is categorized under tender… 
wrinkled mouth kisses, frail hands, palm to palm. 
I am happy for today, our somewhere tender in between. 
Grateful, even more so. 
Stop.
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Smooth criminal…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments
This will be but a distant memory, any day now, but at 12:12 a.m., on January 1st, 2012, Chw shaved off his goatee. Back, way forever ago in the mid 90’s, my husband would shave it off and everyone would remark about what a 12 year old he looked like. For a two-fold set of reasons, he stopped shaving it off- (1}he liked the goatee, and 2}he didn’t want to look like a 12 year old) until this past Sunday morning. 
Suffice it to say, that’s a long time to go without shaving. Though kissing smoothness was sort of nice- (and weird because, well, it’s been almost 20 years of kissing facial hair) It was pretty much unanimous that the goatee must return. Even Lucas, over skype, was not impressed with Chw’s sudden smoothness… 
and for the record, he looked older than 37, which he was NOT expecting… 
Genny was the most taken aback by it though… repulsed, one could say… {in her defense, she did spend the day immediately following this moment, throwing up. She rang in the new year with the tummy flu.}

Pretty funny, right? :)
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One…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
I can’t even believe it, and yet- I absolutely can… 
Another month, another year. Fresh start. Fresh breath. 
Beginning… 
While I feel content, mostly… Perhaps not as much as i would hope but far more than i was before- i find fingers crossed and hopes high at this thing known as january one. 
first… first of something. 
first of everything. 
one. number one month, number one day to this newness that is not really anything very new at all- except for a clean calendar slate and well- let’s face it- we all know what the Mayans said about that… 
Leave it to me to get my junk figured out right before the timer dings… 
Oh well.
I don’t really subscribe to that anyway… 
Me– 
– I want, no scratch that… i NEED to read at least two books for me. Work aside… for me. I am a better me, a better woman and a far better writer when I read. 
– I need to create. i have a list of paper projects, gift projects and a few slightly more daring furniture projects to work towards. Wish me luck? 
– I plan to see. See the world through the lens of my canon. See films. See people. See life. 
– live life. 
– breathe. Through affirmations. through prayer. through yoga. through calming. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. {Please remind me, should I need it.} 
– and of course- the obvious: WRITE. I must write. there is no “like to” or option here. 
Capture– 
– bowls of soup
– new drink and the year’s first book
– icicles
– winter bundled children
– Kaileigh’s bday
– the tree
– Chw’s smooth newness
– our first meal, this year, as a family
– first snow of the year. (one way, or another)
– snuggles
Us– 
– back to educating… Bittersweet. I’ll look to sweet. I am blessed. I choose cherish. 
– We’ll think on Ecology and Conservation. 
– We’ll strive to manage. Manage time. Manage Money. Manage Goals and possessions. 
– We are starting a new allowance system. I’m excited. Gen’s excited. We’re all excited really. 
– Weekend away. 
– Family dinners. Conversing. Love. Support. 
– We delve into classic literature, again, together. 
– We step out and make friends. We try new things. We journey. We cherish. We breathe. {Must continue remembering…}
– focus locally. local shops. local restaurants. businesses owned by people, who work in love for real people. 
– community. outreach. volunteer. serve. 
Heart– 
– i forgive. Me. Others. Life. 2011. Me. Me. Me… Always me, me who damages the most. 
– breathe. 
– pray. 
– read. 
– love. 
– community. outreach. volunteer. serve. {rinse and repeat…}
– sleep. 
Home– 
– organize for schooling. Creative, practical and simple spaces. 
– stock up our tea supply. We’ve dwindled it down. 
– discard the excessive. 
– restock and organize pantry for better feeding of loved family.
– dance in the kitchen, laugh at the table. We need this, everyday. 
– cook together. 
– loosen the kitchen reins. 
Health–
– no soda. none. I’ve done it before. I’m doing this again. 
– cut back on wheat. a lot. 
– swim. 
– move. move in ways which help me love myself, not in ways in which I dread. 
– sleep. 
– breathe. {this is feeling repetitive.}
Love– 
– hold hands. 
– respect him. Consciously. Authentically. 
– kiss. 
– cook for him. 
– fold his socks. {which i hate to do.} 
– date him, and when we are dating- see him genuinely. 
– listen to him. 
– listen to him breathe. 
– recognize, remember and respect that he needs him time too. not for work, not with us in tow. 
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