gratitude – Page 52

A shift from the worry to the “I’m doing something about this”…

Published on May 23, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

I am going to open up and let you guys in on a little secret… Parenting is HARD.

Now I know you other parents are shocked I’ve uttered such things. You are likely shaking your head and thinking to yourself, “What’s her problem? Parenting is a cake walk.” OR, maybe that’s not happening, but I’m pretty sure it just seems like that to me, when I observe other parents.

It’s funny too, because you have these awesomely little energetic kids who try your patience and wear you out, and you think to yourself this will be so much easier when they can get their own lunches and are more independent. But it isn’t. It never actually gets any easier. In fact, it kind of gets a whole lot harder, as if the challenge grew with your kids.

There are days when you just know you are a great parent. Then there are other days when you are pretty sure that your kids would be much better off with a family of rabid raccoons over you. Imagine me, plus the latter scenario… Yep, welcome to my week. Mostly I just love my kids so consumingly and since they are older- its really hard to just watch things unfold. I’m just kind of sitting back, as their independent worlds spiral about, wondering what good I could have possible done, and maybe if I’d just ______________ a little more, things would be easier for them.

With my youngest at home, and her being 14 and all drama, things get pretty intense. She has an entitlement we can’t seem to shake, and these episodes that send the dogs running for the first floor in a heartbeat- when they are usually planted wherever our feet are. I am sure I had my moments, at 14. While I know they were nothing like this- (because I was not raised in an environment where things like this could exist) I do feel the bittersweet realization that she feels safe enough to completely freak out on me. I’m grateful for that. Even when she gets angry because she may lose her ipad privileges and she’ll scream about how abusive I am being. Having come from a childhood of darkness, I know that she obviously feels safe enough to shout out something so ridiculous- and this is a very good thing.

Even so- I wonder. I worry. We definitely struggle, as I imagine all mom’s with 14 year old girls do.

On some levels, it’s easier. She can see more movies I am also interested in (something we love) and read more mature books. (while also feeling it’s unfair that she can’t watch ALL PG-13 movies or read ALL YA books. You win some, you lose some.) But just when there is more to connect with, it seems like connections could happen less.

When my husband took a job with travel, I stressed long and hard about this. Already she was homeschooled (by me), already we were together 24/7 (nearly). Could I really endure it alone? Would we kill each other? Would it ruin the tumultuously confusing relationship between us where she’s screaming at me one minute, about how we have a horrible relationship and I’m a terrible mother- and then an hour later still reaching for my hand in the super market and giggling over inside jokes?

I worried, and I stressed. And then he began traveling and I realized I could be the one who manipulated these times.

So I am.

In the past couple of months we’ve watched Beaches, for her first time. I feel this is the ultimate best friends movie, but I also wanted to watch it for the first time with her. We’ve had ice cream for dinner. We’ve stayed up late talking and eating pints of Ben & Jerry’s frozen yogurt. We’ve laid on her bed and just talked about whatever nonsensical things came to be. I’ve introduced her to Elvis movies and she has fallen in love with Elvis. (adding this to her deep love of Patrick Swayze.) We’ve book browsed and had a million really great conversations. We market shopped for things Chw would never want to eat, and then went out to dinner anyway. We’ve made hot chocolate at 11 at night, and stayed up til 1 a.m. every night this week, watching Gilmore Girls.

It’s been really good. Way more good then bad, and suddenly, these travel times that I worried about are now something really special- and I’m grateful.

Now, to come up with a plan for coping well through all of the other tough stuff…

I’ve lived to tell the tales…

Published on May 22, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

I told you guys that I ordered a brownie for dinner on date night, Saturday. Not that you doubted, but here’s the proof…

It was supposed to look like this:

Though the real thing was pretty dang good, that warm and gooey brownie I’d craved (you know, the one in the photo) wasn’t really what I got. Oh well…

Our house was so hot, for a good four days. Over the hundreds inside. We were all sort of melting. (post script to Monday’s post: I didn’t melt! I survived! Hurrah!) Anyhow, I thought I’d share a few images from the horror, as things are nice and lovely and cool now. (tune in for the sequel though, when I have a fit about the power bill from the repair day when the air conditioner ran, at full speed, for a solid 36 hours trying to cool our home down.)

Ice would last 10 minutes and you could actually watch the water evaporate. Our poor dogs planted themselves, begging for ice.

Sprawled out dogs, whining… Poor things.

My beautiful herbs, it’s looking like, were casualties. I’ve yet to really face this.

On Sunday, just to escape, we went to the 90 degree farmers market to cool off, eat hot dogs from a vendor (the only way I’ll eat them) and buy some hanging baskets…

the possibility of one’s heart melting from so much gratitude and love…

Published on May 13, 2013May 13, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

It was a lovely weekend around here. Our weather, aside, anyway. We had hoped to stroll through the farmer’s market yesterday but the rains, snow (small, but STILL…) and frigid winds really weren’t ideal. Especially when I feel like Gen and I are struggling just to stay a little well.

My family down right spoiled me all weekend, around my Psychology labs and lectures. The goal, all along, was to get my office done by today. I have done minimal work (and that’s kind of an exaggeration, really) since we moved, BUT that has to change. I have deadlines, and goals, and self imposed deadlines and oh yeah– I’m taking classes now too. Having a space for me to work and study is pretty important for my sanity, my dining room table AND my family’s sanity too. Because the room required paint, and a desk (my AWESOME door desk from the other house just wouldn’t work in this space, no matter what we did) the office sort of became my Mother’s Day gift- which was AWESOME for me. While it didn’t require buying a lot (also a good thing) it did involve some small projects and a fair amount of spray paint.

All in all, it isn’t totally done, and that’s ok. My husband really wanted to do the bulk of it himself (except for decorating it) and that man works a lot of hours- so I totally understand. There is one painting project left, but I can live with that.

Beyond what was coined as the weekend of Office-palooza, my family showered me with love, cards, video rentals, Chinese take out, crepes for breakfast, laughter, lunch out and a trip to one of my favorite book stores for a new book, french soda and a cookie. We wrapped up the day with popcorn and the finale of Once Upon A Time. It was low key, quiet and exactly what I needed. <3

DMV, a music video and sugar- oh my…

Published on May 6, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Happy Monday morning!

I don’t know what it was like for you, but last week sped by in our little tuck of the world. While I thought I had a wee bit of time, my husband’s birthday, (which is today, by the way) literally jumped in my lap and announced it’s presence. Wasn’t it just Easter?

Hmmm.

Anyway, we had such a busy weekend, I thought I’d just show you some snapshots of our three-day, with only a FEW explanations… like this one:

Who in the world deemed that birthdays would be the deadline by which to renew your car registration? (since we moved we also had to get new driver’s licenses so we we figured LOTS of coffee would aid in the THREE HOUR time at the DMV…)

Cute little ice cream place. I may have mentioned Gen and I had a bad experience there in March but what’s one bad experience when you get ice cream like this?

{Funny story… Chw does not read. He’ll listen to Audio books but he hates to read real books. YET- could not put this little children’s book down. Seriously.}

And this is ice cream place, bad experience, take 2. Their table ripped my {FAVORITE} shirt, our waiter was a total tool and everything from our very small order to our check was completely messed up. Note to self: Find new special occasion ice cream spot.

Not a great photo but it’s our favorite theater. When I did entertainment work through Allied, back in the day- I felt like I lived here. It really is the best theater though, and for Chw’s birthday we did their “dinner and a movie” special. (See, they have a full chef staff and a gourmet kitchen in there.) We had a delicious dinner, complete with coconut cream pie for dessert… Cuz you know, we needed MORE sugar.

And then it was out of the dining room and into the theater to see Iron Man 3. {Which was awesome, btw}

This was Gen’s first Dinner and a Movie experience. Honestly, she was just enamored by the free unlimited popcorn and the recliners…

It was a late night but our little rockstar managed to wake up in time to go help do make up for a community theater production and then come home to shoot a music video on our deck. I tried to discretely document the divas at work, but you can barely see one of them through the door…

The stars :)

What Chw does while loud music videos are filmed on our deck…

What I did when said video shooting moved to various locations in our house. (notice who woke up… for about 12 seconds.)

Birthday cake at Chw’s favorite local restaurant- J Alexanders.

Happy 39th birthday, husband! You are amazing and I love you so incredibly much!

You are my rock and I am so grateful to journey through life beside you…

Come Tuesday morning though, we will need a sugar detox. <3

A few thoughts with which to greet the weekend…

Published on May 3, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

01.} I do believe that Spring has finally made an entrance, all late and Diva style, here in Michigan. Then I hear, from my daughter who currently resides in Wisconsin, that she’s getting snow, and my spirit sinks. I literally felt overcome with panic as I began thinking of ways to conserve sunshine and hoard our stash of synthetic Vitamin D.

02.} S0 far, thankfully, our forecast is golden. {It’s here that I have to face reality that it was also Golden on Tuesday- and promising sunshine, while reality had us in downpour & thunder city. Boo.}

03.} Last weekend I made this totally awesome chicken slowcooker recipe. It’s such a great recipe and really makes the BEST Chicken tacos. And nachos. And quesadillas. And green chili enchiladas. Basically, what I’m getting at is- pretty much super sick of this chicken for now. Yep, that is exactly what I am saying. Great recipe- spread out. (and shared with like 3 other families.)

04.} I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams vs. goals, and what is reasonable for each side, what is required for success and what is flat out foolish. While Pinterest, Facebook and well meaning loved ones are all full of cliches and wives tales, I suspect the truth is somewhere muddled in the middle of here and there. Thoughts?

05.} My beautiful sheep dog Emma needs a job. Back at our other house she liked to take pillows off of the patio furniture and pile them in the corner of the yard, and then guard them. She took her job seriously. Upon our move, and the loss of our yard, she’s becoming less affectionate and pretty irritable. I’m guessing this is just the way she handles unemployment.

06.} I read, on CNN today, that the unemployment rate is the lowest it’s been in five years. While that’s awesome and I’m super happy about this, Emma isn’t feeling as grateful. How’s an Australian Shepard/Border Collie supposed to find work? We have been putting a few gluten free treats in her giant rubber mouth toy. While it does keep her focused and busy for a couple of hours, and make her a tiny bit sweeter in the evenings- I’m concerned about the message. Unemployed? Eat snacks. Struggling with your worth and possibly your self esteem? Eat snacks. See where I’m going with this? She needs a better job. So far, dishes and folding laundry don’t seem to interest her. Such a shame…

07.} My husband is about to turn 39, which I personally think is awesome. He’s less in favor of this development. He’s a rockstar, a rockstar who has only gotten better with age. I love that man of mine!

08.} I have been absolutely obsessed with watching Indie film trailers recently. You should definitely watch this one, and this one. Amazing right?

09.} We have to head to the Re-store, in search of a light fixture and faucet. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for us please, that they have the most amazing options for hardly any cost. Is it wrong to cross our fingers for such a superficial miracle?

10.} Watching a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie with Genny this week, as she was sick and laying around all restful, we had the funniest conversation. The female lead of the film was suspicious of a guy she liked. To preface it, they’d gone on a date. My sweet, naive 14 year old pipes up and says “man, she’s going to think he’s cheating on her and break up with him.”

M- Well they have only gone on one date honey, so if he was seeing someone else, that’s ok. And it’s way to premature to “break up”. That’s crazy.

She stares at me, jaw as dropped as humanly possible, those big blue eyes saucer like and in shock.

M- Gen?

G- What are you even talking about? It’s CHEATING?!?!

M- It’s only cheating if they are in a relationship.

Emphatically she grunts, pointing at the tv.

M- going on one date does not mean you are in a relationship.

G- What do you mean? Why? Since When? Are you sure?

It went on like this for awhile. I talked about dating, relationships, etc. She processed and reprocessed for the better part of the evening. How she missed this, I’m not sure. Before her sister left home, I remember countless conversations where Amanda would go out with a guy and Gen would call him her “boyfriend” and we would set the record straight.

Geesh, Denial much?

Happy weekend! Do something lovely and amazing, drink in some beautiful and sunshine- and for goodness sakes, go eat a few bites of delectable sugar in honor of my husband’s birthday… Cupcakes all around!