Category: journey

Sad and beautiful all at once…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments
The evening before Thanksgiving, Chw took us to dinner. It was his noble gesture, knowing how exhausted I was from cooking. I was absolutely willing to take him on it… 
I was so grateful for the break, and for someone else to do the cooking and cleaning for an evening that spirits were pretty high. Then, while Genny and I bantered about something that evades me now, I looked over into the restaurants party room and suddenly began to cry. 
The party room had been rented for a girl’s baby shower. In her early 20’s, the young soon-to-be-mom was heavy with baby and absolutely radiating. The room was decorated with pink streamers, and atop the 8 tables there were scattered rattles and bottles for decor. Over all, it was a super cute shower complete with an adorable pink cake and a 2 table buffet line crammed full of homemade mexican food. The young momma sat in the room, chatting with 2 ladies- one I presumed was her mom. The other was obviously the one throwing the shower as about 15 minutes later- and checking her watch for the 40th time, she got up and grabbed the bucket she’d used to store her baby shower games… 
Aside from those 2 people, no one had come to her shower. 
I asked our waitress about it and she shared that the pregnant momma actually worked back in the kitchen. She said that it was really a sad thing because she was super supportive and always attending everything everyone else hosted, and that she knew for a fact that at least 12 “friends” had RSVP’d for this shower. And yet, no one showed. While our waitress told us that most of the girls on duty that night had brought in a little gift for her, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to point out that a handful of girls on a waitress salary aren’t going to meet the needs this new mom has. And with the purpose of a baby shower being to shower that new mom with love- I’m thinking she didn’t feel very loved as she sat staring at those empty and adorned tables in that suddenly enormous room. 
My heart was so sad for her. 
Her heart- on the other hand- at least on the outside, was fine. 
She smiled and truly glowed up until she packed up her gifts and turned off the light… 
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Stubborn…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments
Anyone who knows me knows that I love to talk about how my daughter doesn’t listen. The same could be said for how i talk about my puppy too. The ironic thing is that they are both, dog and daughter, ridiculously smart. RIDICULOUSLY SMART, and yet there are things that I suspect they are simply unwilling to learn and/or obey… 
And it is so frustrating. So incredibly frustrating, and I sit back and judge both of their infuriating stubborness… 
Then, today, when i raised my voice at the wicked little puppy for the 47th time before noon- it hit me: I am no different. (well, minus the ridiculously smart part. This dog is WAY smarter than I am.) I learn the same things over and over- and yet, I am constantly in need of the same lessons again. I know what i need to do in regards to the areas of my life like financial, work/writing, home, laundry, relationships, etc- and yet. 
And yet…

*sigh*

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Unexpected…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay8 Comments
I decided to take part, this morning, in Gypsy Mama’s 5 Minute Friday… 

GO… 
Through pregnancy tests and losses- 
through ultrasounds and clean up surgeries- 
through increasingly cautious joy and broken hearts- I never imagined… 
I would hear it- God has a plan. And I would believe. 
I knew, on that day 11 years and 19 days ago when my womb was no longer even in me- that God’s plan did not involve a baby of my own. 
Less broken hearted than the loss of a child, I still ached. I also still believed. Believed in God’s plan. His unforeseeable plan that I could not even imagine. 
And then, there they were… 
Unexpectedly before me, all I had to do was look up, and there were beautiful faces and voices, laughter and smiles filling my hole bored heart. 
And life changed. 
No more was I my own, could I be mine. 
Without looking for signs and proof I knew that, no matter how steep the climb or tough the interference, these were meant to be mine and I loved them as if they were, as if they had always been. 
That’s the beauty of the walk- the journey. We feel our heart’s aches- and God hears them. God weaves these dreams together in ways that we could never design and gives us moments and memories unexpected and glorious. 
And those moments, for me, are my kids… 
END.
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Tin… Ten… Rings…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments
It is a bit of a backwards world we live in when the honorable gift for ten years of busting one’s proverbial ass in a reconciled marriage, while also becoming parents (HARDEST JOB EVER!) and all through a craptastic economy too, is symbolized in tin and/or aluminum. 
Because, you know, what deserves a gigantic ball of wadded up Reynold’s wrap? That run on sentence, and NOT my marriage… 
That’s ok though. I mean, it is a completely acceptable gift for one naive 18 year old to give another naive 18 year old a ridiculously overpriced diamond, which they likely went into debt for… But ten year anniversary of your trip to hell and back? Tin-foil. Boo. Boo you, tradition. Boo you! {Think hag in the Princess Bride because THAT is what I was going for…}
My awesome husband took me to a super delish, fancy schmancy dinner and later closed the evening with an ultra romantic dessert of fondue at my all time favorite place with it’s super sexy lighting and ambiance. It was a great night. It was tin free. And Aluminum free. In fact, had our waiter attempted to bring us our leftovers in the shape of a foil crafted swan, I would have thrown it in his face and demanded Styrofoam because I respect my marriage that much… 
In our nearly eighteen years (total) of marriage though, we’ve never given ourselves gifts. It never felt a priority. Wait, this is not true. Back in 2007 when Chw and I were in the midst of the great Anniversary date debate– {meaning I believed we should celebrate our initial date and he wanted our reconciliation date- end result being never celebrating anything…} and he tried to woo me to his side with fancy gifts like roses and T & Co. jewelry… I played fair though, and gave him nothing and I won anyway. Well, technically we both won. In the manner of fairness, we chose that year to begin to celebrate on both dates… {only moderately embarrassed that it took us six years to get to that point.} 
Anyway, the whole entire, convoluted point of this post was to tell you that we replaced our wedding rings this year. I realize how wonderfully expensive that sounds, especially following the mention of my T & Co. necklace… Alas’, I LOVE our rings, and they were anything but expensive.

 “I am yours…”
“You & Me” 
{and on the inside, “Always”}
But they are unique, super cool, handmade and best of all- we can be certain no one’s life was lost in the making of said rings. :) I LOVE THEM!!!! 
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