Category: journey

the adam project…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

I had the privilege of seeing an early premiere of The Adam Project earlier this month. I have so many things to say about this movie… As a details girl, I was not disappointed!

As a dreamer of possibilities, the idea that this could (in any way, shape, or form) be a sequel to 13 Going on 30 made this movie even more fun to watch. (Matty & Jenna FOREVER!)

This movie is fun! In the vein of Explorers, Flight of the Navigator, and other similar themed films, it is filled with enjoyable adrenaline and fun! Beyond that though, this film is filled with heart. It touches on grief and loss from so many angles, causing each character (past, present, or future) to challenge their own feelings and empathize with others. There is simply so much depth within the frames of this movie showing us so much healing. While the premise of the film may be science-fiction, the truth is we all navigate our own burdens of grief and loss. Though the primary plot may be completely unrelatable, the soul of it may likely mirror struggles and moments of our own journeys.

From a technical perspective, the movie is well-paced with believable special effects. Casting in this film may be credited to Carmen Cuba but I fully believe some sort of time travel magic was involved, and you can fight me on this if you want, but Walker Scobell as a young Ryan Reynolds was eery perfection. I’m weeks out since the viewing and my mind still struggles to comprehend how these two people are not cut of the same human being. If you love Ryan Reynolds then this aspect alone is with the watch.

Just be forewarned, you’ll probably really love it.

Bravo to Netflix, the entire cast and crew… Brilliantly done film–the sort of escape, enjoyment, and heart we need right now!

The numbers don’t lie, but the eggs might…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Is it fair to say that February may have been the longest string of twenty-eight days in the history of man? I mean, that’s probably not true (a matter of perspective I can imagine) and also from a scientific standpoint probably makes no sense. All the same, from where I’m typing it would seem that February lasted 127 years and I am entering into the month of March to celebrate what would then be my 173rd birthday. (also, to be fair, I feel I have aged so much in these past few years that maybe I feel 173…)

If you’re some sort of rapid math genius then you may have assessed that I’m turning 46 in a handful of weeks. 46. I didn’t repeat it because this number freaks me out–on the contrary, I don’t even get what the big deal about age is anymore. I had my meltdown when I turned 25, and then my worst birthday ever when I turned 40. To be fair, they were all pretty crappy, for the most part, until that one.

No, I repeated “46” because it gave me pause to realize it has only been six years since that horror of a milestone day. Those six years have really dragged on, proving that time must not always “speed by” the older we get. I guess considering almost half of that time has been measured through the pandemic lens, and included the longest January ever, followed by the 127-year long month of February…

Listen, there are a lot of numbers in this post. Some are spelled out in an attempt to distract myself from the fact that if I look at these lines just right it will feel like a story problem from my fifth-grade math book. These numbers are stressing me out… Math is clearly not my thing. Even the appearance of math makes me antsy…

One thing I don’t take for granted is the appreciation I’ve gained for birthdays, my own included, and have traded in the decades of horrible ones for better ones since the disastrous 40th. I believe we are never too old to learn, which brings me to the actual (only slightly numerical) point of this post:

Things I learned in February…

  1. Over the process of working with my publishing team and editor, I feel I’ve gained more and more confidence in my work–specifically my memoir.
  2. While I wouldn’t say i learned how to watercolor, I did spend time playing with them and definitly feel less intimidated than I did before.
  3. That there is an actual Carpe Diem day. It was February 26th. Not only is this special to me because Dead Poet’s Society has always been a favorite film of mine, but I also feel this matters because so often we choose to stay comfortable over daring to do things… As we sink farther and farther into that zone, we tend to achieve less and less. Seizing the day is something I hope I aspire to do–even when I really am turning 173. (to be clear, PLEASE GOD NO. I do not wish to live that long.)
  4. Definitly since the start of this year, but continuing into February, I’ve been working on learning to embrace my creative desires and focus on “play over results.” In doing so, I’m trying several different mediums, looking at classes, and really enjoying myself.
  5. In February I continued my education in embracing that I am a child of the moon. I restructured my entire schedule to observe the waxing and waning cycles of the moon’s phases and it was interesting. Due to things beyond my control, I won’t be able to observe these cycles as strictly in March, but I still plan to be intentional about them.
  6. According to Google, one can tell an organic egg has gone bad when it floats in a bowl of water. I don’t know about all of that, but I did learn that if an egg smells really eggy, it is not good. Maybe this is baseless information and I’m full of it, I don’t know… but when Chw made scrambled eggs one day, and I (from an entirely different room) smelled a STRONG eggs smell the second he started, my stomach turned and I couldn’t eat them. A few days later, I went to fry up an egg for a bowl of ramen and the second I cracked the egg (the NO WHITES egg that sent horrified chills up my spine!) that same smell about knocked me back ten feet. I couldn’t eat the egg, (sad ramen). I replaced the entire batch and we had eggs over the weekend and I did not smell that smell or get nauseated. This may all be baseless information but I don’t care. If I ever smell that putrid scent again, I will not be eating the eggs…
  7. HOWEVER, in my EGG-UCATION (ha!!! I know… Lame. But also, kind of funny…) I also learned that the brighter the yolk color the more natural and healthy the hen’s diet was, thus meaning the paler yolks are the less healthy.
  8. I attending an amazing workshop and learned how to not only give myself an “energy massage”, but how to give one to someone else. Fascinating stuff!
  9. I had my first King Cake… and listen, if people are binging on these before Lent, I understand the idea behind abstaining from sugar. WOW, that was the SWEETEST cake I’ve ever put in my mouth!
  10. Even though there are increasingly terrible things happening in the world, as well as in many of our lives and the lives of our people, it is CRUCIAL that we honor and celebrate our good moments, small wins, and progress.

dog… {giveaway}

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay21 Comments

I have always been a dog lover. There is something about having a dog that supports my emotional health, brings a level of companionship I may not get elsewhere, and just brings a richness unlike anything else. The hardest part of having walked this earth for four-plus decades as a dog lover has been the goodbyes. While many of my best moments involved a beloved pup, the lowest moments were those “see ya laters”.

I currently have a four-year-old Golden Retriever named Elenor. Ironically, she is the one dog I didn’t want. I’d had to say goodbye to a puppy a few months before and it had been brutal. I wasn’t ready. My husband really wanted her, and so Elenor came home with us.

This girl took a while to bond with, likely due to my hesitation. No one likes to get hurt and I was in the phase where maybe I didn’t want another dog because I’d had my fill of those rainbow bridge goodbyes… but, she’s been an absolute Godsend. These past few years have been the hardest, most growth-filled, and also the best/emotionally-healthiest years I’ve known–all rolled into one. I’ve done compelling work, written a memoir, signed a book contract, built a business with several facets, grown substantially in community, deconstructed from religion, and experienced more loss and grief than ever before. Elenor has been by my side through it all. We joke that she’s my husband’s dog, and in all fairness, he did fight like hell to get her… she does light up the most when she sees him, and she kind of worships the ground he walks on… BUT she is my constant companion. Where I go, she goes. When I’m asleep, she’s by my side. When I’m working, she’s outside my door. This sweet golden floof is always within reach. She is exactly who I needed.

When we rescued a litter of newborn kittens, she became the surrogate mom and the reason half of the litter survived. We kept one, and these two are the very best of friends.

I have partnered with Grace Hill Media to promote MGM’s new film Dog, starring and directed by Channing Tatum. In this partnership, I have the opportunity to give away an awesome Dog themed prize package, which includes 2 Fandango tickets!

DOG is a buddy comedy that follows the misadventures of two former Army Rangers
paired against their will on the road trip of a lifetime. Army Ranger Briggs (Channing
Tatum) and Lulu (a Belgian Malinois dog) buckle into a 1984 Ford Bronco and race
down the Pacific Coast in hopes of making it to a fellow soldier’s funeral on time.
Along the way, they’ll drive each other completely crazy, break a small handful of
laws, narrowly evade death and learn to let down their guards in order to have a
fighting chance of finding happiness.
Rated PG-13 for language, thematic elements, drug content, and some suggestive
material

You can view the trailer here.

DOG_10803_RC Channing Tatum stars as Briggs in DOG A Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures film Photo credit: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/SMPSP © 2022 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved

To enter the giveaway you must comment on this post by telling us a little about your dog! (If you share this post via social media, please comment back or send a DM with that link.)

Giveaway ends on February 15th at noon est.

hello january…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

You may have been a member of my Umbrella membership-based community last year, and if you were–I hope it was a fun experience. The whole plan was kind of a “play along” while I beta tested some ideas, and it was an adventure! I learned a ton (as I hope to do with all adventures) and made the decision to revert back to a Patreon account, applying what worked while also factoring in what was missing, and what I have the bandwidth and capacity for…

I know Patreon intimidates people a little, I get it…

If you’re here though, reading my page, then I’d love for you to give yourself this little quiz… And if, at the end, you’re curious–click the link!

Umbrella

Additionally, this month I’ve rebranded and relaunched my monthly email. This is going to be the place for the latest news about upcoming projects, author releases, collaborations, Rainy Day Collective Podcast announcements, courses, resources, freebies, and so much more! If you haven’t signed up, you can do that here! There is A LOT coming along, you won’t want to miss it!

I love every opportunity to connect with readers, so thank you for being here and showing you! I know this new year isn’t off to the best start, but to be honest–you make things a whole lot brighter!

xoxo

M

what I’ve learned this year…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

I don’t know about you but I’m not quite feeling ’22… Not yet anyway. For the first time in my four-plus decades of life, I am cautiously wary of transitioning into a new year. That may not be one hundred percent accurate… I was also fairly hesitant during the last few moments of 1999 as well, but I digress…

When I reflect back on the idea of what I’ve learned this year, it’s hard. The year feels like a thick, gooey, peanut butter fudge all mixed together with the year before somehow. Sort of like–what is 2021 anyway? At any rate, I’ll attempt to narrow down a list of life lessons from the twelve-month journey of this complicated year. If you happen to be a part of my tight-knit little circle and know I’m dipping into the wisdom gained from the craptastic year that proceeded this one, feel free to let me know. (Although to be fair, I’m one of those people who learns the same thing again and again, because somehow I tend to forget.)

What I learned this year:

  • There is not an aspect of life that isn’t improved by being connected to a community of people.
  • While I love our cat Darcy, whom we rescued the day she was born (in 2020) I am simply not a cat person. I’m not… I may love the random cat videos, and pet the cats of dear friends, but personally I just can’t surrender to being a cat lover in general. So many “cat habits” grate my nerves. Again though, I adore Darcy so much and do have a deep affection for the feral cats we feed and shelter…
  • I’m a slow reader. Chw insists I used to read much faster, and maybe it’s true. Perhaps years of chronic illness and medication induced brain fog have robbed me of that ability. For a long time I felt guilty for being a slower reader than many others I know. It felt embarassing. I am no longer taking on ownership of that guilt or embarassment. I am a slow reader. I’m a savorer. Every so often I encounter a book that I can’t put down, and I read all night. While I love those rare treats, I’m also chronically fatiqued and it simply isn’t practical or condusive to my health. I am ok savoring a book.
  • As I’ve continued my religious deconstruction journey (heading into the seventh year… Does it ever get easier? No. Is it worth it? YES!) I’ve began to realized that I am most whole and at home within the boundaries of connection. I find God there. Whether I am connecting with my Creator through creativity, barefoot in the depth of a forest, toes deep in beach sand, eyes raised to the mountain, or gazing up at a starry sky–it is that connection that drives me. Likewise, in the connections I share with people, God dwells. Sometimes this shows up through beautiful conversations, intense laughter, shared tears, and mutual experiences. Other times this looks like stepping up to love someone else where they are at, however they need. It is in these realizations that I’ve learned I never felt even close to this sort of connection within the confines of the church. With my many moves and church experiences, there is only ONE place which came the closest and this place was where I called “home” as this deconstruction began. Of all the Church “friends” I’ve known, I also know that body of people would be the only ones supporting me where I’m at today. I spent years searching for the things that I got from that space, and always left lacking. Religion would tell you that “church shopping” is a sin, and that the lacking was less about the church and more about my wicked heart…
  • BUT I’ve learned that is a lie. I believe that I am a created being, created by a loving creator. Of course I connect to Them within the beautiful spaces They created. Of course I feel Them in my core as I connect with, and love other people. It is a cruel deception to argue that in favor of oppression, manipulation, and judgement.
  • Likewise, I’ve learned to ask questions. I’ve learned to research and probe. To wonder why I was taught something was “bad”, and what that translated word or phrase actually says. Enlightening.
  • I have grown in my love of tactile things. Of paper and texture–things held in my fingertips.
  • For years I believed I could not do artistic things, and it was true. I could not, because I did not try. I did not try because I had foundational years of people telling me I was no good so why embarass myself? No more. Today I do the creative things. I’m sketching, painting, stitching…
  • I lost my mother and aunt this year, along with nine other people close to me (or very close to people I love deeply) and it was hard. Harder than hard. I learned how to grieve alongside others as I navigated my own sea. I learned, once again, that there isn’t a portion of life that isn’t made richer by community. Grief is only isolating because we are conditioned to grieve alone.
  • Having been suicidal for a time (years ago), and knowing three people who died by suicide (also years ago) I learned a lot about suicide this year. What it really looks like to be close to it. Part of what I needed to let go of, and reeducate myself on was stuff instilled during those foundational religious years. Again: lies.
  • I’ve learned a group of women of various culteral backgrounds and ethnicities can share an intimate connection. Some of these women can love Jesus, some can be Athiests, and a few can be a little witchy, and that none of these differences change a thing. In fact, this love and community is stronger for not letting them divide us. This isn’t what we are taught, but even so it’s what I’ve learned.
  • I’ve let go of my fear of the word witch. In fact, I’ve learned that the very things women did which had them labelled as such during the puritanical era involved things conservative families embrace now. Meditation, herbs, holistic medicine, essential oils, plant based sustinance, affirmations, self nurturing… these are all things that women were once killed for. Looking to the stars and paying attention to the changes in the moon caused women to be labelled devil worshippers. It’s interesting really, because men navigating the seas and seasons by stars was acceptable, even when the ships they sailed brought over people of Color to be abused and enslaved. (This is something the church should have always been against, isn’t it?) Modern medicine states the pull of the moon can effect us in many health and mental health ways. After all, we know the moon has an incredible affect on our waters, and aren’t we mostly made up of water? If my growing education in natural ways, the effects of the moon, the practice of hollistic things, and my belief in self-care and affirmations makes me a witch, I’ll claim it.
  • Fun fact (that I learned) Christian Witches are a thing! Who knew?!?!
  • The word witch has such a negative conatation, and it’s innaccurate. Each one of those things is divinely feminine in nature… Could it be that was the problem all along?
  • I’ve learned I prefer tea to coffee, and that I prefer that tea with sugar cubes. Infused sugar cubes are even better.
  • I’m learning (because I’m not quite there yet) to love myself as I am. Having once put my body through intense hell in an effort to take weight off, I have come to believe that was a mistake. Ironically the consequences of that decision have left my health a mess. Even more fun is that due to those issues, and endocrinal issues already present, much of that lost weight has come back. It’s frustrating. I’m tired. I’m sad, but I’m learning to love and accept myself as I am.
  • I learned that while I am a beautiful writer, I am not a well educated one. My foundational education, while heavily focussed in Biblical teaching and obedience training, did not do much for teaching me the skills I should have learned like math and grammar. Combine that with the afore mentioned brain fog and well, I’ve seen a lot of frustrationt this year. (As has my editor.) She has been so patient with me and we have really grown from the experience. After the new year I’ll be getting to know my Publisher’s editor and start that process all over again. Truthfully? I’m terrified. In fact, if I think about it too much I feel sick. BUT, I have to keep reminding myself that we all want the same thing: for this book to be out in the world and in the hands of people.
  • This year my word was AND. I learned to accept results of my hard work or goals, and then reach for more. Additionally, when my nostalgia made me sad about things which have been over for a long time (especially when I may wish they weren’t) AND reminded me that I can grieve and ache for a different outcome while also remembering boundaries and the reasons why it’s best as it is.
  • I learned that I could rewrite the majority of my book in seven days, if asked by the publisher I had my heart set on. I had no idea I was capable of that. (Brain fog be damned!)
  • This year I learned that I can be a sleeper. I’ve struggled with sleep for the majority of my life, and had grown to exhaustedly believe sleep just wasn’t meant for me. I was wrong. I researched, educated myself, and by trial and error have learned how to sleep well.
  • I learned that while I LOVE TikTok, I do not love making them. (nor do I have to.)
  • I learned that I have zero patience for the the Let’s Go Brandoners, the passionately anti-vaxxers, or the people who go about life like normal while being covid positive because “no one has really died from it.” Yes they have. We know several of them. Listen, I support your right to deny the vaccine. It’s your body, your choice (100% of the time) but this illness is real. People are dying, and others have had their lives impacted in devestating ways from it. If you don’t want to get the vaccine, social distance. Wear a mask in public. Keep yourself safe. Limit interactions so you don’t get sick, or carry it to someone else. I am triple vaxxed and I social distance. I wear a mask in public. I care about your safety as much as my own. (The LGBers though? GO AWAY! You’re loud, obnoxious, self-centered, and ridiculous. That this nonsense is happening in churches and is rampant through church communities only affirms my decision to walk away.) You don’t have to love our president, but don’t be a dick.

I’m sure I’ve learned more. Already this is longer than I expected… A hard year? Yes. A sad year? Resoundingly. But also a year of solid growth and accomplishment. (or should I say AND a year of solid growth…)