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My belated January nutshell…

Published on February 3, 2015February 2, 2015 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

What I learned:

– I can’t do it all. I may want to, but I can’t. saying “no” to things is ok. Saying “this isn’t right for me” is ok too.

– I have tremendous patience for the people in my life and their behavior, but no one is excluded from the limit it reaches, and when that limit is reached, it does sadly alter our relationship.

– This isn’t a learned as much as a reaffirmed, but Parenthood really was the absolute best tv show I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing/seeing/experiencing/watching.

– An organized, well designed kitchen is worth more than the newest/fanciest home features.

– Home Depot has an answer for almost any dilemma.

What I’m into:

– Have been reading the same book all month. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s that I’m packing and working and struggling to find time to read. That being said, when I do find the time, I really enjoy it.

– Did you watch Selfie last fall? It started off a bit iffy, but it turned out really fantastic. Such a relevant and really well done show, for today’s society… sad they cancelled it. There are efforts to get people to revive it. Fingers crossed.

– My home reno idea Pinterest board…

What I loved most, this in January:

– I’ve talked about it here before, but it was one year ago this month that I discovered this product and I fell in love all over again this month! Crabtree & Evelyn 60 second hand repair kit

– Really loved the movie American Sniper.

– The North American International Auto Show. It was a lot of fun to go with Chw. While there we were introduced to the Honda Uni cub and this music video. I love Ok Go anyway, but this video is amazing!!!!

What about your january?

how friday turned out…

Published on February 2, 2015 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Friday morning, at 8:20, we were in our new house. It’s interesting really. The couple who lived there is retired in a much, much warmer state and we don’t know if they rented the house in their departure or what happened, BUT they left behind some very interesting things. Gen was mesmerized by a 1958 class photo which she literally spent hours staring at and talking about. Chw is over the moon at the John Deere riding lawn more, the painting scaffolding and numerous tools. We never really paid attention to the things that were left scattered in the house because we assumed they’d be removed before everything was finalized… There was some miscellaneous furniture, random glass doors, and the most eclectic array of oddball things. It’s very interesting, to say the least.

Our weekend was an adventure, to say the least. It’s a toss up whether we spent more time at Home Depot or the house. There were frustrations, elations and disappointments as we worked. PSA- wallpaper removal is a real joy kill. It was going smashingly well in Gen’s room and then our arrogance carried us into the bathroom where all joy came to a screeching halt. NOTHING seems to be working! We did discover a huge crack in the bathroom wall so we have to essentially strip it down and reenforce it. Wah Wah… It’s already feeling a bit like home, at least to Chw & I. Gen still hates it, but perhaps she at that age where you just can’t please her. At any rate, she’ll have to get over it.

We took a break, and braved the white out blizzard (which lasted ALL DAY) to go see Pippin yesterday. It was incredible! We enjoyed it so much! (We are a broadway show loving family so this wasn’t altogether unexpected, but we did love it more than we expected.) My husband was headed out on a business trip this morning but his flight was cancelled, of which we aren’t complaining! over all, not an awful weekend, and I get a much needed snowday with Gen. She was beyond happy at this.

It was a bit of a surreal weekend honestly. Suddenly here we were, working in a house which is ours. We sat trying to explain to Gen, mid light fixture mount, about how she should want to invest herself in this home because this will be the house she has her first boyfriend in, and the house we meet her husband in. This will be the house she’ll bring her children for holidays to. As hard as the last 6 months have been, (SOOOO stressful!) it was so surreal to be there… And then so odd to just abandon the work to spend the afternoon at a show. (of course, we’ve had the tickets since November, back when we had no idea that house wouldn’t pan out and our house hunt would be like this.) All in all though, walking through this house, I think C & I are glad it’s this one… Despite all of the teenage angst and negativity, we know there are so many reasons this is a better home for our family and though it’s a lot of work, it’s so worth it.

Through it all I’m trying to remember to intentionally savor the journey! (I’ll start pictures on the blog soon, but I will be putting snippets on my instagram feed here and there!)

Home sweet home…

Published on January 28, 2015 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

Nearly three months ago I was spending my days wrapping belongings in bubble wrap and newspaper, preparing to move into a home of our own. This home wasn’t one that I loved, and the room I feel should be most beloved (the kitchen) was actually the room I flat-out couldn’t stand. The negatives aside, the market wasn’t great, it had a lovely outdoor space, a nice fireplace and beautiful appliances… I was plotting, and planning, ready to put my touch on the home where I could, learn to live with the rest, and settle in.

Six days before Thanksgiving (three days before we were supposed to close) when that fell through, I was a mix of disappointment, hopelessness, sadness and yes- relief. We needed a house, but I wasn’t sad that it wouldn’t be that. Most of the other feelings stemmed more around the money lost, time lost, and tremendous frustration/stress.

I un-bubble/paper wrapped some things and we set out looking again, discouraged. We found a house we absolutely loved. We loved it in that this house meets so many of our needs and wish list that this will never actually work out way, and sure enough, after almost 5 weeks of sitting on the fence and not giving our offer a definitive response the Homeowners chose to lease the house for a year. We had a back up house that had been the we will never actually live here, there are things about it that could work but oh my gosh this house needs sooooooooooo much work house.

Anyway, we finalize on the second house Friday. Funny isn’t it? I kinda want to laugh, I kinda want to cry. Mostly I want to fast forward through all of the renovations, money shortages, tensions, fights, squabbles, etc that will happen until it’s all done. It didn’t do great in the inspection. (surprise, surprise) and I keep thinking this would be a bad time to rent Money Pit for family movie night. (Funny side note about house number 2- Genny’s response was “I hate that house. I am embarrassed by that house. I don’t feel safe there, I would NEVER want a friend to come over.” So that’ll be fun to deal with… ha ha.)

I love interior design. We surface renovated a house in New York back in 2003 and loved it. (Not as much work as this.) I spent some time consulting for a friend who had an interior design business, some years ago, and enjoyed it. It’s a passion. That angle of it invigorates me… As we go along, I’ll update you guys here. EVERY ROOM needs stuff done, so it’ll take time. Cheer me on, you guys. I’ll need it…

(and no, this window is not from the house, though I would have loved a room like this! PERFECT office, but alas…)

What comes next…

Published on January 26, 2015 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

I keep thinking, I need to write a blog post…

Obviously thinking about that hasn’t done me a lot of good. It isn’t that nothing is going on. A lot is going on. Packing, moving, house stuff, horribly awful family drama, sophomore finals, high school meltdowns, family outings, date nights, new podcast episodes, and the list goes on… Mostly though, I’m thinking about what comes next? How to get from where I stand, to where I’m meant to be. Yesterday we had the privilege of hearing an amazing sermon that spoke so deeply to me about our expectations of God and our purpose in life. It all fit so neatly into this inner struggle I’m having with my What Comes Next? Dilemma…

And my inner battle reminds me just how human I am.

I have this idea. This vision, if you will, of what I want. It’s my dream, I guess. I have no earthly idea how to get from my place of point A.) to it’s fruition of point B.) NONE. If it were, say, Point Z.) that would make more sense because there would be clearly defined steps to take… But there aren’t, and so I get overwhelmed and I choose the completely pathetic action of doing nothing. I might pray for it to happen, but don’t expect it to. I might wish for it to be, but don’t believe it could happen to me. I don’t work for it, because I don’t want to be disappointed I guess. I answer every question with a “how?” Thus being the evidence of my humanity.

It’s very much like, I was saying to a friend this morning, standing in New York City and needing desperately to get to London but not having the use of a plane or boat. How? What comes next?

God.

I guess that’s the only answer, God.

Last week as I sat listening to verbal abuse on the phone and realizing how easily it is for others to hurt us, and how sometimes there is that one person who has been hurting us our whole lives and this time feels like the grand finale of all wounds- What Comes Next? God.

It’s the only answer that makes sense. Today (and everyday) I’m going to trust and expect God to get me out of this awful place someone else’s misery put my family in. Right now (and every minute) I’m going to trust and expect God to (metaphorically) get me to London.

I guess, essentially, expecting is what comes next.

What I learned in 2014…

Published on December 30, 2014December 30, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

As we pull up to the end of what has become one of the worst, (if not THE WORST) years in my 38 years of life, I thought I’d take a moment to share the lessons I’ve learned over these twelve months. I’ll be linking up over at Emily P. Freeman’s blog Chatting at the Sky.

– Being at your daughter’s wedding is a roller coaster of emotions that I don’t think any mother can really be prepared for. {at least this one wasn’t}

– I’m pretty ok with being a grandma at 38 to my daughter’s awesome new sons.

– Just because a large majority of people believe something is the easy way out does not make it so.

– Wearing a swimming suit, in a pool, that is now several sizes too big for you is inadvisable. (VERY, VERY inadvisable.)

– also inadvisable, when you have finicky hair like mine, is changing shampoos when you have one you really love. Big, BIG mistake…

– That my people are my everything, and when something scary, tragic, devastating or sad happens to one of them it may as well happen to me.

– A champagne massage is possibly how I want to celebrate every single milestone ever. Heaven.

– I suddenly hate cheese. And anything that has recently associated with cheese. And yogurt…

– That I have a STRONG dislike of granite countertops.

– That I will probably never be the daughter my mother wants me to be, that she will hate everything I enjoy and there is nothing I can do to control that.

– Likewise, I will likely never the person my kids want me to be. I’m trying to be ok with this too…

– no amount of passion, love or effort guarantees results/success.

– chasing people is only fun and affective when you’re under the age of 9, and on a playground.

– Being a writer is hard. Way harder than I perceived in 2013 and DEFINITELY more so than 2012.

– Podcasting is awesome.

– Churches in the area we live in now are seriously different from the other 8 states I’ve lived, and not different in a good way. It’s a major disappointment that our family is trying to reconcile with.

– I’ve grown to dislike moving, but worse is this 5 month purgatory of moving to who-knows-where…

– Friends can say some mean, crappy and insensitive things. Some friends say they’ll be there and never show up at all, (see: Chasing people above) but people are human and flawed. That’s ok. Step back, reevaluate. Some relationships are worth sticking it out, some are worth cutting them go…

– game nights are the best. Like mini-vacations, leaving your worries behind for a bit.

– I like less tv than ever. Sitting there too long drives me crazy.

– Newark New Jersey is like a completely different world than NYC, despite their close proximity.

– eloquently penned (& pinned) quotes and sayings on Pinterest are not always based in truth or healthy, even when if they may stir your heart to read.

– Some people live really nasty, and are completely unaware. We’ve walked through so many homes with our realtor that were absolute disgusting…

– lastly, I don’t need a fancy house or fancy stuff. I just want a home that is warm, peaceful and has a yard for my dogs, room enough for the bed I share with my husband and a room big enough for our dining room table to hold all our family…