Category: gifts

Pressing Pause…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay19 Comments

Happy Friday! I am once again participating with the Five Minute Friday crew…

(The way it works is, there is a word that we each spend ONLY FIVE MINUTES writing on- whatever comes to mind.)

~

I feel like I might be coming across like a broken record, repetitive…

I started this little, long-awaited passion project roughly seven weeks ago and I had no idea how many things would change, in my life. I took a leap, not knowing what doors (or opportunities) would become so within my grasp. Is it possible for those dreams, which one has carried deep within their sacred places, to be owned and lived and real? In this minute it seems so…

Right now, most elements of this life I live seem on the verge of changing. I’m trusting and moving forward, even though between you & I, I kind of want to hide under my covers and wait til life goes back to the quiet that it was. Not for any healthy reasons, of course, but because I am scared. Fearful of failure, fearful of success. Fearful of change, even though I know (I know this!) that all three of those things can be very positive, cathartic and vitally necessary things.

I’m taking more deep breaths, these days.

Intentionally pressing pause on the bits of my moment which I do control. (and accepting the rest, which I do not.)

Inhaling, savoring, taking note and remembering the way the sunlight is beaming in such a way, streaming in jagged rays through my patio door, the air smelling of fresh-cut grass, a hint of this morning’s coffee aroma lingering there, just barely. These things, these little details I often take for granted, they build together- contributing to the bigger things. Often the best of things…

I am so grateful.

Grateful for the good, for the less than good, grateful simply for the journey. I am flawed and that inner critic in me wants to compose a massive-neon warning to let everyone know that I am not your girl. I am not ready. I am not worthy. The ugly, timid and guttural part of my spirit yearns to slam on the breaks, let anxiety take the reigns and slip into full on self-destruct mode.

Today, today I know better than to give in.

So today- right now- I pause.

Inhale.

Exhale…

And I’ll keep repeating, for as long as I need to. Come what may, I’m strapped in and ready.

~

It’s Friday, I’m in love…

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Happy Friday, lovely readers…

I cannot believe that next Friday it will be June. JUNE?!?!? How in the world did that happen?

This week has been overwhelming! I have met, read letters from and had phone calls with so many brave women. Some of them are reading this post. (thank you, I truly do value you) My heart has never been more full of gratitude and an unfathomable amount of love before. The journeys, the bravery, the uniqueness of women… So many different details, and yet most of their paths have (at one point or another) led to the same pit of shame and isolation. Your path, my path. While we are all wishing we’d vacationed in the same, all-inclusive, tropical resort- it is instead the secret place of shame we have all shared experience with.

This is both sad, and unifying. This walk is sometimes so dark and lonely, but the more we share- I am so glad we get to walk together…

By Thursday evening I had put forty-seven hours of work in, between writing and podcast related things. When I reflect back on the week, it’s a little challenging to sort through the work stuff to remember the best parts, beyond that because the truth is- the work is the best part.

I am nothing if not relentless, so, I managed to have five things to share with you:

  1. This blog post, was lovely. While I read quite a few great things around the web, throughout the week, this one really resonated and stuck with me.
  2. There hasn’t been a lot of sleep this week. (no, that isn’t something I have loved…) I did manage to finish (finally) Season Two of Divorce (HBO) finish the latest season of The Great British Bake-off (Netflix) and watch Evil Genius (Netflix) and true story: The final episodes of one of them made me cry like a baby. If you can guess correctly, you’ll get a gold star! (sidenote: Though not a clue to my challenge in the sentence below, i did want to say that I really do love anything Mark Dupless does. Pure talent!) (also- I tried really hard to love Masterpiece’s Little Women, but I just couldn’t. I was 100% sure it would make this list, but I could only make it through 2/3rds of the first episode.)
  3. A sweet friend urged me to go to her house and cut a bunch of lilac to bring home. It has smelled exquisite here since Monday!
  4. I have a pretty love/sad-disappointment relationship with Sophie Kinsella’s books. For my birthday my friend sent me this one, and I finally began reading it this week. I’m a little ways in and, though I really do like the style and maturity her writing has gained, the actual subject matter has me bristling a bit. I’m hoping it gets better…
  5. I love a good mask, there is no secret there… And while I typically talk pretty regularly about face mask stuff, I fail to mention how much i LOVE a good hair mask. My favorite is this one. You should absolutely try it. You’re welcome.

As always, i would love to hear what you’ve loved this week. Most of your answers tend to come to me as email replies. Thanks for subscribing and reading, however you choose! This will be the last “traditional” Friday post, (wah wah) and it’s number 33. Perfectly imperfect number to transition with, don’t you think? (in case you’re curious, it was about a year.)

 

 

 

It’s Friday, I’m in love…

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Of all the sunshine goodness that began this month of May, there was a little balance struck with sore throat/chronic illness junk. I’m secretly wanting to lay in my bed and binge netflix with an abundance of throat lozenges and Coke Zero. With the husband away on business, and these two crazy dogs needing things like food, walks and playtime, this isn’t likely going to happen anytime soon…

With May upon us, there is a sense of hope around. Do you feel it too?

This week, I’m loving…

  • This mom t-shirt may be my very favorite thing EVER.
  • These sunnies are FABULOUS! My mother’s day will be shared with a red pair because, well, they are so fun! (and because, if Michigan cooperates, we will be spending the day in the sunshine!
  • My sister Jennie got me to watch this show when it first premiered, and I really liked it. But then, life happened and I stopped watching it 4 episodes in. I did dive back in last week, and wrapped it up last night. I really loved so much about it, and have developed some firm opinions about how I think the second season should unfold…
  • since I learned I can’t do Keto, I have also not been feeling the best. So, unfortunately I am apparently loving carbs. No links. I do not recommend loving things such as toast, Dave’s Killer Bagels and peanut butter sandwiches…
  • My husband put this on my dash last week. I am a pretty regular user of the Marco Polo app and this mount has made all the difference! (thanks, husband!)

Also, don’t forget The Collective has a new episode this week! It is my favorite, so far! Good stuff!

Go into your weekend with zest and a spirit of openness… Amazing things await!

Miraculous miracles abound, can you see them?

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

There is something absolutely remarkable happening outside…

I can’t even believe how soul-stirring it is to hear voices carrying in the breeze, from somewhere outside. Birds are singing, the sunshine feels amazing and each instant of warmth on my skin and fresh air in my hair feels like a mini- miracle.

Sun tea. Another miracle. I have a gigantic tumbler of sun tea to my right. I tap- tap- tap a few words, and then sip- sip- sip its divine deliciousness.

Also, ice cream. We have made ice cream once, and gone out to ice cream once. Miracles, I tell you. Don’t get me wrong, I love ice cream and have been known to partake in its bliss-filled offerings even when it is blustery cold out, but this wasn’t the case. No, the evenings stretched longer than yesterday and the sun’s golden love fell all around. Plus, there was ice cream. See? Miracle…

Our lawn has already been cut once, and it smelled like summer and kindness all knotted up, and real.

Bare feet, freshly painted (red) toes atop plush, emerald-green blades of new growth. Miracle.

This morning, outside, A cardinal landed on a branch and watched us, as Elenor thoughtfully pondered catching and eating all of the birds nearby, and I stood soaking every ounce of it in. (important, though silly sidenote- his feathers matched my toes. We were totally twinning, that bird and I.)

Miracles, miracles, miracles. Every second of it.

I’m sick. It is most likely some form of a virus thing combined with a fibromyalgia thing, coupled with a stress thing. Stress doesn’t look good on me, as I DO NOT carry it well. Whatever. Additionally, it was two weeks ago today that I really injured my hip/back and have been pretty miserable. Even so, with the odds stacked so hard against me, I stood there, in that grass, and exchanged silent conversation with that beautifully red bird. I walked down stairs and out doors to soak up the rays of sun. And maybe today I’ve cried, and pity-partied my heart out. Maybe I’ve been so rollercoastered emotionally, but the miracles are everywhere.

I woke up.

I made and drank coffee.

I talked with friends.

I did my job.

I video chatted with my handsome husband, who is on a business trip.

I got a video of my son and his daughter, after he returned home from a military trip and they reconnected. So many miracles, because the truth us, I take things for granted. Most of us do.

I’m here today though… #miracle

It’s Friday, I’m in love…

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Two years ago, this week, I embarked on a fast which changed my life forever.

I’ll agree, that sounds incredibly overdramatic, but it is also one hundred percent the truth. That time in my life was among the darkest and most hopeless. While I never (ever, ever, ever) want to go back there, I also maintain being proud of myself for coming through it and growing in the ways that I did to manage it. The fast was fourteen days long, intentionally, and turned out to be seventeen days total. It was not a dietary fast, but rather a heart/mind/self-control one.

This week, while I am not in a dark place, I am embarking on a pretty similar journey. While I would love to sit here, in this space, and tell you all about the reasons why- I can’t. Not only would that be in violation to my fast rules, it also wouldn’t be a great idea. Someday, I’m sure… But for now, as I get ready to share the top five things I loved the most about this past week, I’ll ask that you send me all of the good thoughts/energy and prayers you can muster. Not for the strength to fast (though I’ll take that too) but for the outcome.

This week!

  • My windows have been open almost every day, and most days (this past week) I have been able to snag at least a few minutes of real-life vitamin D!
  • I Feel Pretty… (begin rant: There is so much love/hate about this movie and honestly, it just baffles me. It is your average light-hearted rom com, at base. If that isn’t the sort of movie some people enjoy, then why are they going? If you can’t stand Amy Schumer then why are you going? Why do some people do things just to complain about it? Life is too short for that nonsense! end rant.) It is poignant and lovely and chock full of wisdom girls of all ages can benefit from. I remember early on, critics were so upset that AS was playing someone “overweight and ugly” when she is neither. The thing is, that is irrelevant! It doesn’t matter. That’s the whole, entire point of the movie! At the end of the day, I think the topic is way outside of the industry’s comfort zone, so the idea is to bash it instead.
  • On Monday we caught a show by Nancy & Beth. We laughed a lot, teared up more than expected and had the best time! It was so much fun! If you aren’t familiar, get yourself familiar. Megan and Stephanie are natural performers and gave the show so much heart. The very special added bonus, (aside from the INCREDIBLY talented musicians comprising their band) was Megan’s husband Nick Offerman. My husband worships at the shrine of all things Ron Swanson and so this was a special time for him! I loved experiencing it with him, and watching him. Seriously- FUN NIGHT!
  • Issue 23 of my favorite Flow Magazine <3. I love them all, in their own unique ways, and it is a happy day when, after hunting, I have the new one in hand. This one does NOT disappoint!
  • This story makes me tear up whenever I think of it. Heartwarming and beautiful! I hope that, beyond the in-the-moment-selfless-help, this man is able to get the help/hope he needs… For so many of us, suicide is a very sensitive subject, close to our hearts. It was also part of the discussion in this week’s episode of our Collective podcast. (If you haven’t listened yet, you should!)