Category: family

And I landed flat on my face…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments
I day dream, sometimes, about leading a brilliantly balanced lifestyle. I manage to stay in touch with all of my friends and family, while also maintaining a well organized home. My blog, in said daydreams, is always maintained with quality posts and my personal writing blossoms throughout regimented productivity. I got to thinking about it, this morning though, and how one dimensional these imaginings truly are. In them, there are no middle-of-the-night emergency phone calls. No emotionally damaged children wreaking havoc on my day. In them, my husband is happy and supportive because his job is not only something he loves, but something he feels good about…

Why do I feel like, as the woman, wife and mom, that it is my sole responsibility to maintain balance and peace around our home? Is that the way it actually is, because I’ve chosen to stay home- even though I maintain some fragment of a career? Is that a societal pressure? Because, last night, with set back nine-hundred-trillion, resulting from my daughters attachment disorder- it felt like my personal failure.

I sat down and watched Chopped, in the middle of the evening, and guilt rained down on me. There was laundry (already folded) to put away… There was a muffin pan (soaking) to wash. I texted my girlfriend, who also loves Chopped, and asked her if she was watching it. When she confirmed that no, she wasn’t because she was busy doing something important (note- NOT how she said it, or exactly what she said) I felt even worse.

I don’t know how to do it all… How to be it all…

Does my husband feel that way too? I can not imagine the stress he’s carrying, from his job. He has a hard job. Quite possibly the hardest he’s ever had. He left quite a luxurious position to end up here, and he did it for me and our kids. To my face, he’s never admitted he regrets it, but I’ve seen moments where it may be etched in his expression. Does he dream of balance and take on every setback of Genny or I as his own personal failure?

Today, in my 28 day challenge, I will:
– Ask my husband this question.
– try to empathize with his position more…
– breathe deeply and try to let go of the stresses so that I can be a better me, for my family… 

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Acts of love…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay15 Comments

Doing something, for someone else, is an act of love.
It sounds simple, but that isn’t always the case…
Often times we grow weary or disgruntled, feel under appreciated, etc… Unfortunately others may not always notice what we may do for the them, or the lengths we may go to for their happiness. There are several adages about that and motherhood, but it isn’t just motherhood. Marriage can be like that. Parents of adults can sometimes fall into a shroud of entitlement and take their grown children for granted. It is our human nature to take, and take, and take…

I try (and fail miserably… often because I over schedule myself) to find small ways to serve my family beyond the standard meals, home and laundry. Some days I may go beyond myself to accomplish something, only for him to wonder what I did all day… I’m not a fan of those sorts of days…

And then today I wondered: Am i guilty of that too? I know he doesn’t mean to look past me. How often do I hurt my husband or kids because I’m so caught up in the chaos of life that I don’t truly see what they’ve done for me?

Today, in my 28 day challenge, i will:
– Say thank you, and mean it.
– Observe.
– do three good deeds/random acts of kindness, for three strangers.
– make an extra effort to ease the burdens of my husband, who works so hard for our family…

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Obviously MARvelous

The sad truth about family time…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay8 Comments

Want to know a dirty little secret? I am one of those people who gets ridiculously overwhelmed with my calendar, therefore forgetting to plan any quality time with the people in my life. Or, worse- I schedule it in the planner… I wear only an expression of complete shame when I admit that to you. I am anal, to a fault…

But, I am trying to be better…

I see the monster me that happens when I don’t have regular quality time for myself, and with those I love. It’s ugly. Frighteningly ugly. It’s impatient. (of course, you understand, that’s not me… but the monster.) It yells… In fact, this monster likely grows more Hulk like than even I’d care to admit… But give me a quality game night, with my family or an afternoon out with a girlfriend and I’m a mouse again. (well, that’s a severe stretch of the truth- but you get the point.)

In a fast food, instant gratification society, such as ours- it’s quality time that seems to permanently live on the butcher block of the modern family. Dinners around the table are traded in for mini van meals pulled from paper bags… Frantically, families run in forty directions to things like work, clubs, sporting events and meetings. Even when we do have time with one another, (or, a date night) they usually involve a movie. Being the movie lover that I am, I asked a friend last week why they saw a movie every date night if they weren’t really big movie lovers. Her response made me sad, Because I can numb my mind and just wind down from the week…

Call me crazy, but I’ve decided to advocate for family. For quality time, between spouses as well as with their kids. Wind down? Quality time should refresh us. It should build us up. It should invigorate us with what we need to move forward with renewed strength.

And yet, I find myself over scheduled… One thing I do love is that we do have dinner together, every night… And let me tell you, there are those frantic days when I live for those 45-60 glorious minutes of peace, laughter and conversation…

Today, in my 28 day challenge, I will:
– Spontaneously do something fun with Genny, this afternoon.
– Spend some quiet conversation and dream time with Chw.
– Mesh my schedule with Amanda so that we can make time to get a pedicure and talk.

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The truth about gifts…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

Genny takes an art class from an amazing artist, every Monday morning… Monday of this week he spoke to the class about Valentines. Specifically, about when making/giving one to someone you do so with that person in mind. You consider what they like, the things that seem to draw their attention, etc. 

It’s all about the details… 
I’ve said this very thing to her a thousand plus times, but she never really heard it until today. 
I was thinking about this particular post for awhile, before today. Gifts are my love language. I love buying them, love receiving them. The prettier wrapped, the better. It’s just how I love and feel love. My husband, however, is an insecure gift giver which usually means no gifts at all. Because I love him more than life itself, I’ve grown to realize that a lack of gifts doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, or think of me- but honestly, (and I’m ashamed to admit this) that was a TOUGH lesson… 
I did buy him a super cute little valentine, this year. Nothing major. I had zero expectations from him, and it wasn’t until Valentines Day itself that I realized even more than a little gift- what would speak the loudest to him would be to do something for him… I tackled the storage side of our garage. I organized. I loaded my SUV full to the brim with stuff for Goodwill. After hours of doing this, and feeling completely exhausted in the process, I was disappointed to survey what had been done and not see bigger results. In fact, I was actually a little depressed about it. When Chw walked in the door though, he was all smiles. From ear to ear. He wrapped his arms around me and thanked me over and over. 
You don’t know how much that means to me. He said those words until I couldn’t stand to hear them anymore. I didn’t see that it was that big of a deal, but he did. It meant something to him. More than a silly little Valentine or an overpriced card. More than a fancy date at some five star restaurant… 
And then, then he said four beyond priceless words to me: I’m taking you bowling! 
And I shrieked… 
I did so because A) I love to bowl. B) He doesn’t. C) Therefore we never go. D) He had reserved the lanes, on his way home, before he even knew I’d worked in the garage… 
To give a gift to someone you love, all you need to do is love them and truly set yourself aside in thought of them. While Chw would have been less than thrilled if I’d gifted him a game of bowling- he had an AWESOME time because we all had fun and he knew it made me happy. On the same note, if he’d cleaned the garage for me- I’d have gone straight to bed and slept the night away wallowing in self pity. 
Joy is found, even in the things we may not like, when we do them in love… That is the true gift… 
Today, for my 28 day challenge, I will: 
– Do things for my family, even the things i don’t like to do, with a joyful pep. 
– I will play Gen’s favorite game with her. 

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Love letters…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

On Mondays I help teach in a class called Public Speaking. {Anyone who knows me will likely be caught unexpectedly laughing out loud, right now, because I am not a public speaker. Pretty much, to clarify, I sit there and offer the rare bit of feedback. So, sort of like a glorified student… Anyway…} This past week the class assignment was to choose a random item from a pile and give an impromptu speech to the class about what it was, and three different things you could use it for. This sweet girl, roughly 10 years old, took a bottle. My own mind filling with the hundreds of things that bottle could be used for, her very first thing took me by surprise: Put a love letter in it, and send it to sea. 

I’m obviously not much of a romantic because that idea did not grace my list. That being said though, I have to admit I LOVED it! I began to think about such things as love letters and the ways in which they can be given…

left on bed pillows…
written in lipstick, on mirrors…
through the mail, sealed with a kiss and perfume scented…
slipped under a door…
attached to a gift…
in a bottle…

A love letter, by it’s very definition, is merely a declaration of one’s love. Every time I reach for my husband’s hand- I’m doing that. Isn’t it an amazing idea to strive to live a life as a love letter? Intentionally acting upon your love, always?

I’m in love with the notion…

Today, in my 28 day challenge, i will:

– write a love letter, to my husband. I will recommit to love him and remind him of all of the reasons that I do.
– try to be a love letter for my family…
– enjoy this day of love and affection with the people I am so lucky to have and love. 

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