family, home, marriage

The sad truth about family time…

Want to know a dirty little secret? I am one of those people who gets ridiculously overwhelmed with my calendar, therefore forgetting to plan any quality time with the people in my life. Or, worse- I schedule it in the planner… I wear only an expression of complete shame when I admit that to you. I am anal, to a fault…

But, I am trying to be better…

I see the monster me that happens when I don’t have regular quality time for myself, and with those I love. It’s ugly. Frighteningly ugly. It’s impatient. (of course, you understand, that’s not me… but the monster.) It yells… In fact, this monster likely grows more Hulk like than even I’d care to admit… But give me a quality game night, with my family or an afternoon out with a girlfriend and I’m a mouse again. (well, that’s a severe stretch of the truth- but you get the point.)

In a fast food, instant gratification society, such as ours- it’s quality time that seems to permanently live on the butcher block of the modern family. Dinners around the table are traded in for mini van meals pulled from paper bags… Frantically, families run in forty directions to things like work, clubs, sporting events and meetings. Even when we do have time with one another, (or, a date night) they usually involve a movie. Being the movie lover that I am, I asked a friend last week why they saw a movie every date night if they weren’t really big movie lovers. Her response made me sad, Because I can numb my mind and just wind down from the week

Call me crazy, but I’ve decided to advocate for family. For quality time, between spouses as well as with their kids. Wind down? Quality time should refresh us. It should build us up. It should invigorate us with what we need to move forward with renewed strength.

And yet, I find myself over scheduled… One thing I do love is that we do have dinner together, every night… And let me tell you, there are those frantic days when I live for those 45-60 glorious minutes of peace, laughter and conversation…

Today, in my 28 day challenge, I will:
– Spontaneously do something fun with Genny, this afternoon.
– Spend some quiet conversation and dream time with Chw.
– Mesh my schedule with Amanda so that we can make time to get a pedicure and talk.

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8 thoughts on “The sad truth about family time…”

  1. So glad you understood! I think my friend thought I was a little crazy by that… her argument was "he's my home, we wind down together", which is a valid point, but still…

  2. This is a great post! I too have to admit to scheduling "family time" on the calendar! One thing we do too is have dinner together, all of us at one table, and I enjoy it. For those evenings we have things going on I try to not rush our family dinner together no.matter.what. We might eat a little earlier or later or whatever, just so I don't have to miss Family Dinner Time! (Me being sick last night though I missed dinner…. but I enjoyed listening to the rest of them laughing and having fun!)

  3. Nikke, It's crazy how many families don't do this… One of Gen's friend spent the night a few months ago and thought it was weird that we eat at the table with Genny…It was literally a foreign concept…

  4. You're so right! We're big about being home in the evenings for dinner too, and date night every week (w/ NO movies!) are a priority. Some weeks they are the only things that keeps me sane! Thanks for sharing this!

  5. Kristin-thats awesome! Every week with no movies! Amazing! That is something we couldnt do because we honestly love movies BUT we need to be better about not usung them as our fallout plan…

  6. I know exactly what you mean. I spent so much time on housework, cooking and errands that I didn't spend enough quality time with my daughter. Now I make the time because she is more important than getting everything done.

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