Category: family

Silence explained…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments
I realize that, aside from a whiny birthday post and Genny’s party recap- I sort of had this super dramatic post and then dropped off the face of the bloggy planet… 
I am preserving every moment of my time… and trying really hard to process things in this life and all that comes with it. Today is Thursday… It was around this time, a week and one day ago, that my son call from Massachusetts. He’s in the Army, in case you didn’t know. He was near Boston taking part in a testing program that was wrapping up this weekend, following which, he would be reporting to Ft. Lewis Washington. To say that we were thrilled that he’d be seven hours from home, would be an understatement. We miss him very much… 
Anyway, I’ve veered off course… let me start again… 
Eight days ago Lucas phoned to tell me that the Army had once again changed their plans for him, (they seem to do this a lot) and that he was being sent to Germany (for THREE years) on emergency orders. He will likely be aiding in efforts against certain war torn and dangerous places that no mother wants their son to go… He will be flying into the airport with this recent news.
He was home just a few days later, on Genny’s birthday to be exact. We were hugging him. I was hugging him. 
But in just a couple of days, he boards a plane and we join the hoards of families who say goodbye as their loved ones who walk off into the great big scary real world. 
I keep thinking, perhaps if we’d had more time to prepare. Maybe if it wasn’t all so sudden. Maybe if he was home longer. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe… 
I’ll blog again, in a few days… When I am dealing with things a bit better. After my precious minutes with him are gone- at least until his next leave…
Until then, your prayers are AWESOMESLY appreciated… 
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A Weekend in Paris…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments
The invitation… 

The party favor bag… 

 The Parisian Decor… 

The Activities… 
– A Glamorous fashion show
– Crazy tissue paper fights 
– Eiffel Tower awards
– Dancing
– Makeovers
– Classic Parisian Films
– And so much more… 
And for breakfast, her daddy the pancake master perfected these… 

And on her birthday morning, again her daddy made the morning with 
cake batter pancakes…

Parisian Party SUCCESS… :) 
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Today…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments
Today I am just needing to talk. I am needing someone to be there and listen, and to tell me they know how i feel. 
Today I am looking for understanding. Understanding of the facts that I’m not perfect, and never will be. Understanding of the fact that my life won’t fit into your a-typical little box, and I am ok with that… 
Today I am needing something. Anything. Compulsively I am looking at my phone, at my email, at my facebook, at the wall. I glance at my to-do list and want to do none of it. 
Today I am biting my lip and forcing tears backwards. I am binding it all together and cheering myself to get through tomorrow night. 
Note world: come 11 a.m. on Saturday morning- I am giving myself permission to freak out, cry, yell, pound fists and admit to anyone who will listen how completely helpless and overwhelmed I feel. About everything. About everyone. 
But this isn’t about Saturday… It’s about today. 
Today I just want someone, anyone, to be there… 
But if there was someone- I wouldn’t have the first clue what to say… 
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Truly Springing Forward…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments
It’s Spring Break, in our house. Since we home school, it will look a lot like days in the sunshine (assuming, of course, the sun cooperates)… 
It will look a lot like creativity… I want to attempt to sew a camera strap. (I am NOT a seamstress) I want to teach Gen some things in the kitchen. Genny wants to have a few more Chopped sessions… {If you’ve never seen the Food Network show, than that makes no sense… If you have, then yes- we’ve taken to doing our own basket meal versions. It’s fun.} She’s planning on decorating a messenger bag. I’m planning on finishing the decorations for her party. 
It will look a lot like fun… Fun that comes packaged in a colorful assortment of time with friends, just hanging out; board games; wii time; scooter riding; basketball games; and maybe even swimming… 
It will look like home… cooking; crafting; vegging; reading; writing… (hopefully, writing, that is…) 
It will look like special outings… A trip to the theater to see a musical; a spa day complete with hair treatments, pedicures and manicures; a visit to the museum; roller skating and movies… 
It will look like quality time, however you look at it… And not a moment too soon, either! 
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What’s in a mom…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay10 Comments
Julie was a stranger, to me, on the typically hot August afternoon when we met. Her words hinted of a southern tone, and her smile made me question her sincerity when she spoke. 
Well, maybe it was my past and my already incredibly distrusting twelve year old self which made me distrust the authenticity in her words. I learned to trust her above anyone else… 
In time I learned, from her, that everyone is worthy of a cautious glance but that with caution comes the ability to use wisdom to garner whether or not they are trust worthy. Indispensable advice! 
When she told my disjointed and moody middle school self that my jeans would go, first, through the wringer washer and then hang to dry- perfectly smoothed out- on the clothes line, i thought she was trying to make my life crazy. Twenty Two years later, (Gosh, am i that old?) though I wouldn’t be caught dead using a wringer washer, I still won’t dry my jeans in the dryer. They last forever, looking as new as the day I bought them.
After years and years, (well into my adulthood) of thinking I had to go at it alone, Julie showed me that I could go to her for anything, even after I was grown. And so I would… 
A sense of humor is something most of us are born with, but because of Julie and her love of beauty and funny and the miraculous combination of both- I learned to laugh. To truly laugh, lighthearted and with honesty. 
Though I prefer to wax them, and still hate to tweeze, it was Julie that taught me the importance of eye brow shaping. It was Julie present and comforting on the first day of my period. For nearly every defining, adolescent mom moment- Julie stood in the gap. 
She claimed me as her own. She adopted me in her heart, and even proclaimed when I was nearing my thirtieth birthday that she was working on a plan to get rich so she could hire an attorney to adopt me for real. She was joking, of course. At that point she had been my mom for the greater part of seventeen years. Over those seventeen years, myths about family were debunked and I learned the truths… the truths about blood verses heart and love verses choice… I learned things there aren’t words for. 
She taught me to get through the tough days. The screaming child rages and the moments when I felt completely un-cut-out to be a mom. She was a phone call away from most of them and always happy to talk me through them. 
It was her willingness to love, to hold close and to sometimes see past which taught me to love on my own. To love my own children, not birthed from my womb. To be there, to listen. To love in honesty, to love them authentically… 
When Julie died, I learned a lot too… How not to reach for the phone during a mommy meltdown moment… How not to tear my house apart searching for her noodle recipe and then just give up and dial her number… Eventually I grew to see the immense blessings in loving her and being loved by her. I learned to measure my moments and cherish them because there truly is no guarantee… 

Mama’s Losin’ It



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