Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Unexpected…

Published on November 11, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay8 Comments

I decided to take part, this morning, in Gypsy Mama’s 5 Minute Friday…

GO…

Through pregnancy tests and losses-

through ultrasounds and clean up surgeries-

through increasingly cautious joy and broken hearts- I never imagined…

I would hear it- God has a plan. And I would believe.

I knew, on that day 11 years and 19 days ago when my womb was no longer even in me- that God’s plan did not involve a baby of my own.

Less broken hearted than the loss of a child, I still ached. I also still believed. Believed in God’s plan. His unforeseeable plan that I could not even imagine.

And then, there they were…

Unexpectedly before me, all I had to do was look up, and there were beautiful faces and voices, laughter and smiles filling my hole bored heart.

And life changed.

No more was I my own, could I be mine.

Without looking for signs and proof I knew that, no matter how steep the climb or tough the interference, these were meant to be mine and I loved them as if they were, as if they had always been.

That’s the beauty of the walk- the journey. We feel our heart’s aches- and God hears them. God weaves these dreams together in ways that we could never design and gives us moments and memories unexpected and glorious.

And those moments, for me, are my kids…

END.

Tin… Ten… Rings…

Published on November 10, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments

It is a bit of a backwards world we live in when the honorable gift for ten years of busting one’s proverbial ass in a reconciled marriage, while also becoming parents (HARDEST JOB EVER!) and all through a craptastic economy too, is symbolized in tin and/or aluminum.

Because, you know, what deserves a gigantic ball of wadded up Reynold’s wrap? That run on sentence, and NOT my marriage…

That’s ok though. I mean, it is a completely acceptable gift for one naive 18 year old to give another naive 18 year old a ridiculously overpriced diamond, which they likely went into debt for… But ten year anniversary of your trip to hell and back? Tin-foil. Boo. Boo you, tradition. Boo you! {Think hag in the Princess Bride because THAT is what I was going for…}

My awesome husband took me to a super delish, fancy schmancy dinner and later closed the evening with an ultra romantic dessert of fondue at my all time favorite place with it’s super sexy lighting and ambiance. It was a great night. It was tin free. And Aluminum free. In fact, had our waiter attempted to bring us our leftovers in the shape of a foil crafted swan, I would have thrown it in his face and demanded Styrofoam because I respect my marriage that much…

In our nearly eighteen years (total) of marriage though, we’ve never given ourselves gifts. It never felt a priority. Wait, this is not true. Back in 2007 when Chw and I were in the midst of the great Anniversary date debate– {meaning I believed we should celebrate our initial date and he wanted our reconciliation date- end result being never celebrating anything…} and he tried to woo me to his side with fancy gifts like roses and T & Co. jewelry… I played fair though, and gave him nothing and I won anyway. Well, technically we both won. In the manner of fairness, we chose that year to begin to celebrate on both dates… {only moderately embarrassed that it took us six years to get to that point.}

Anyway, the whole entire, convoluted point of this post was to tell you that we replaced our wedding rings this year. I realize how wonderfully expensive that sounds, especially following the mention of my T & Co. necklace… Alas’, I LOVE our rings, and they were anything but expensive.

“I am yours…”

“You & Me”

{and on the inside, “Always”}

But they are unique, super cool, handmade and best of all- we can be certain no one’s life was lost in the making of said rings. :) I LOVE THEM!!!!

My honey, my baby- don’t put my love upon no shelf…

Published on November 9, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

If you read yesterday, you surely know about Girl’s proposal adventures…

This tale picks years after the wedding in the old church. Years after Boy and Girl found a cozy cottage to make their home. Quite some time, in fact, after Boy decided to leave Girl and things turned again flat.

Flat and lonely.

And Girl grew up, and found herself. She learned that she loved things (like Death Cab for Cutie and hot dogs at baseball games.) Girl learned to be happy, for happiness sake and not because someone else loved, wanted or needed her or her milk…

But Boy came back and things got better. Boy Boy and Girl realized happily ever after isn’t real, and both Boy and Girl learned to appreciate that. And in time, they decided to get married again. Together they ring shopped, wanting a fresh start. Together they were discouraged by cost versus quality- and what it all meant in the long run anyway. They wanted to focus on the important things, not the superficial so finally they chose the best quality set- for the lowest price. Boy proposed by kneeling at her doorstep, the new ring hidden within a rose.

Both Boy and Girl truthfully hated the new rings. They were ugly and represented nothing about them. Still though, they reminded each other about true beauty, love and gratitude. Secretly though, one January day when a band of thieves in the grand forest (we’ll just call it Las Angeles, you know, hypothetically) robbed Girl of her wedding set- she was a little relieved. While she loved Boy with her whole heart, she’d felt wicked and superficial despising the rings and was glad they were gone.

Also secretly, though he’d never say it- Girl suspected Boy was jealous that his wedding band hadn’t been stolen too…

That’s when she told me the story ’bout free milk and the cow…

Published on November 8, 2011 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Girl picked out her own engagement ring.

At seventeen years of age, swept up in the romantic idea of belonging to someone as amazing as boy, it was so easy to be naive about everything that lay ahead. When Girl’s family and friends remarked that she shouldn’t even see the ring before the great-big-secret proposal, Girl laughed heartily at their old fashioned ways…

Boy took girl to the location of their very first date, and popped the question. Girl said yes, of course. Girl happily wore the ring she’d chosen, though secretly she felt like everything suddenly felt flat. Flat proposal. Flat ring. Flat. Where was the elation, the wonder, the magic? Certainly not there in that dollar theater- (hey, Boy and Girl were poor college students, where’d you think their first date would be?) and certainly in the although beautiful diamond ring which she’d picked out.

Flat.

Bickering began between them soon there after. Their once seemingly cozy village felt suffocating. Also, no one had ever really talked to Girl about the story regarding free milk and the cow. Though she knew her small world encouraged no sharing of her cow’s milk until after she was wed- she never understood why, so since she loved boy she generously shared milk and let’s just say- Boy was not lactose intolerant.

Eh hem… anyway, the bickering turned to fighting, the fighting turned to breaking up and suddenly everything that had felt flat and nothing at all like the movies or books described- was finally gone.

Lot’s of things happened to lead to weeks and weeks down the road, when Girl and friend had gone to a program in an old, historic church where Girl dreamed of being a bride someday. With friends of his own, (conspiracy?) Boy ended up there too.

Throughout the program, Boy and Girl found eye contact before sitting beside each other.

They found sitting beside each other before I’m sorry.

They found I am sorry before he took her hand and slipped into her palm a little note. There, drawn at the top of the note was her ring. Below it, simply said “Marry me?” Beneath that were two boxes, one for yes and one for no.

And there they were… The elation, the magic and the wonder.

Girl glowed!

Girl checked yes…

Whack…

Published on November 7, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

These days I am forced to think about the small moments as the most important ones. I feel like, in every area of my life there is some sort of issue. There isn’t a relationship, aside from my marriage, that is going smoothly- and this makes me sad. I get frustrated and I just feel suffocation, like it’s all out of control and coming to an end…

But then, the sunlight streams through the trees in that gleaming way which screams reassurance. Not reassurance in one thing, but just something reassuringly beautiful.

And I’ll take it.

I’ll hold it so close to my heart that my chest becomes it’s home- and I will return my palm to it every time the outside life makes me want to kick and scream and cry.

I decided today that I’m going to do that, this week, hide myself in the little things. In the wonders and the minutes that surprise me sweetly. The big things are ugly today, and tomorrow too… Not forever, but for awhile, and if I think about that- I can’t handle it…

So, right now, it is the little things. The candy covered ground, flecked with pinata fragments- that’s where you’ll find me. Which is ok, because if I stand up- I am likely to get hit upside the head with the swinging bat.

Candy is way better…