Whack…

These days I am forced to think about the small moments as the most important ones. I feel like, in every area of my life there is some sort of issue. There isn’t a relationship, aside from my marriage, that is going smoothly- and this makes me sad. I get frustrated and I just feel suffocation, like it’s all out of control and coming to an end… 
But then, the sunlight streams through the trees in that gleaming way which screams reassurance. Not reassurance in one thing, but just something reassuringly beautiful. 
And I’ll take it. 
I’ll hold it so close to my heart that my chest becomes it’s home- and I will return my palm to it every time the outside life makes me want to kick and scream and cry. 
I decided today that I’m going to do that, this week, hide myself in the little things. In the wonders and the minutes that surprise me sweetly. The big things are ugly today, and tomorrow too… Not forever, but for awhile, and if I think about that- I can’t handle it… 
So, right now, it is the little things. The candy covered ground, flecked with pinata fragments- that’s where you’ll find me. Which is ok, because if I stand up- I am likely to get hit upside the head with the swinging bat. 
Candy is way better… 
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