Author: Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Desert native who claims the Pacific Northwest at home, while currently residing the Northeast. Lifecoach, Podcaster, PR writer, essay author, imaginary poet and every day dreamer...

Love is…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
This time of year, you hear and see so much about love. 
it’s every where. 
And it’s kind of sweet, except that it’s not really love. it’s false stories about pretend people. It’s heart shaped boxes and imaginary cupids with arrows and wings. It is songs written out of honesty, but containing only the deepest and best parts of the love itself- never the whole truth. 
Love can be witnessed through photographs in a coffee table album, but it can’t ever live there. Thrive there. Die there. 
Love is a choice. It is not hateful words, months of selfish actions and then three little words said in a goodbye. Sometimes people want to love, but they can’t see past themselves to do it. Sometimes. 
I am not perfect. I am not some poster parent by any means, but I have been learning a lot about love. 
Love IS non-judgemental. 
What that means is that there is no judgement about one’s choices. What that does NOT mean, is that in place of judgement I will encourage them, embrace them (them being the choices), etc. 
Love IS un-conditional. 
What this means is that no actions, words, choices or anything will ever affect the love, change the love, alter the love or destroy the love. What that does NOT mean, is that the one who is loved has the right to use, abuse, lash out at, hurt, etc- the one(s) who love them. Un-conditional love does not mean becoming a door mat to the hostility of the ones you love. 
Love IS supportive. 
What this means is that, regardless of the choices or actions one makes, you will stand by them for who they are at the core of themselves. You will allow consequences to fall, but never waver in lifting them up and embracing them through it. What this does not mean is that you bail them out, embrace their belief that they bear no responsibility in what has occurred and reiterate how much of a victim that they are- enabling them further into the lie. 
Love IS ugly. And painful. 
It just is. Sometimes it’s lovely and reaffirming, but often it isn’t. It’s hard, and it’s lonely. it is always. it is forever. It consumes you and hurts you because the person(s) you love may not always love you back… but it doesn’t matter because love is real and love is there. 
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just a telegram…

Published on by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment
So sorry for the silence… 
It started because I had a massive migraine. 
Then it continued because my son Lucas is home on leave, from Germany, before he deploys.
Then it continued even more because my sweet puppy got incredibly sick. 
But, i finally slept last night and decided, upon waking, to let you know what’s up- and then continue the silence until our little family unit survives the weekend… 
In the meantime- it is more important to steal a few minutes and see what’s up with you? 
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Journal {week 3}…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments
IN MY LIFE THIS WEEK… 
School aside, there is a significant decrease in the tension and drama around the house. That’s a very good thing as it’s been growing increasingly more suffocating for a long time now. It’s amazing to sleep a full night and wake up feeling peace. 
A lot of the sleep and the peace though come from just letting go and realizing that we are powerless. 
I’m a slow learner. 
IN OUR HOMESCHOOL THIS WEEK… 
Oh man… ROUGH, ROUGH week. 60% blatant defiance and 40% pure exhaustion. 
Not much got accomplished, and certainly nothing extraordinary. 
We did do a bit of studying on career paths, talents, strengths and abilities. 
We also spotlighted poetry for literature. That part was really lovely actually. We gave it the chunk of an afternoon and I wished it wouldn’t have ended… 
I AM INSPIRED BY… 
the stories you read/see of people who true difficulties that they overcome with amazing success- all because they try and work heard to do it and don’t play the victim card. (People with no legs, playing sports; a mom with no arms being a stay at home, homemaker with her baby; etc…)
PLACES WE’RE GOING, PEOPLE WE’RE SEEING… 
Swimming, basketball practice, basketball games, field trips, movies and dinner with friends, life group, youth group, super bowl get together… I kind of feel like all we’re doing is going. Tonight i get to have craft club. we’re a small group but I think even if it was just me- i’d love it… 
MY FAVORITE THING THIS WEEK WAS… 
My monday night phone call with my BFF. It really centered me in a way i’d been needing. 
Second to that would be that I started doing the Writer’s Book of Days in a journal and it feels really great! 
THINGS I AM WORKING ON…
being more patient. 
making my way to my manuscript. (When???) 
finding the magic solution that will make our school days so much less traumatic. 
I’M READING… 
The death and life of charlie st. cloud by Ben Sherwood
Poetry
SHE’S READING… 
Poetry
I’M COOKING… 
cookies; roast with root vegetables; an awesome mushroom and sun-dried tomato pasta; tortellini and spinach soup; fresh bread; berry loaded muffins… 
I’M GRATEFUL FOR…
My rock of a husband. My small handful of dearest friends. They are my sounding boards, my cheerleaders, my sources of courage and strength. SERIOUSLY grateful… Two arms that work, two legs that work, a neck and back that work. 
I’M PRAYING FOR… 
My friends who have found themselves unemployed for far too long now. 
A PHOTO, LINK, VIDEO OR QUOTE… 

my nephew… he’s way funny. 
He makes me smile. :) 
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On growing old…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments
i have written before about my unique high school career. it’s safe to say though, that i didn’t really “get” the social pyramid structure until college. 
It was overwhelming, at best. 
In the days since college, I have been in various settings where I either fell at the top of the system, at the dung heap bottom of the system or, in a few rare instances, managed to climb my way towards the top. 
It’s funny, really, how these things work… 
That being said, I had signed up to take a class. It’s a fitness class. In the water. I signed up long before I knew Genny wouldn’t have a successful transition in the art school. I had all but decided to give up on the class when it occurred to me to simply take her along. 
You know, because i need something for me. 
So, last week we started “our” class. 
Twenty-ish people in the luxuriously warm hydro pool. Of our group of twenty-ish, two were under sixty. 
If you guessed my twelve year old and I- you are correct. 
As you can imagine, the class somewhat caters to the elderly. It kinda should, I guess, since it’s an arthritis class. Whatever. 
Fine. I have arthritis. There. I’ve said it. 
It settled into my right hip before i had reached the age of 10, due to a disorder. i struggled with my right knee, as a result. When I was 16 though, and my adorable little sister of 13 pushed me off a ski lift- my knee was trashed and eventually the arthritis love spread to it too. In the 19 years that have followed, it has managed to affect the ankle too. As if i weren’t already the luckiest girl in the world- about six years ago I broke a section of my right foot at a water park and guess what speculatively has arthritis now too??? Yay me. 
So, for pain management purposes, i thought this class could potential rock. 
Plus, i LOVE swimming, and water- so it’s even more awesome. 
Socially though, i think it will be less of an amazing experience. 
The old people don’t like us. 
The old people have cliques. 
We don’t fit in. 
The old people flirt, and banter. One old man is the definite ladies man of the bunch. 
I had already formed this conclusion before the instructor announced that one of our classmates needed us to “huddle around” because she had something to share. 
One of the members of the bunch died of a massive stroke on Friday. 
I am fairly empathetic so I immediately had to fight back tears, despite having never met him. The friends all began talking about him, and how fun he was, and how much they’d miss him. They referred to him as the life of the party. 
It was around this time of the very moving share time, which I viewed from the outskirts- when one sweet little lady piped up and said “What? Dave is really dead? It’s his birthday today. Facebook told me and I just facebooked him a message telling him happy birthday! I can’t believe it.” 
To which someone else said, “Oh, is it. I didn’t make it to facebook this morning.” 
A few moments of silence passed and one man spoke up, “I’ve been meaning to tag him in those photos from Lucy’s birthday party. I’ll do that today.” 
More stories of Dave were passed around and then someone mentioned maybe they should “hang out” after lunch. 
Pretty much, those whole experience left my jaw perpetually hanging open…
Facebook. Hanging. Cliques. Parties. Flirting. 
How awesome with elderlyhood be???? 
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Two…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
Me– 
– new schedule. Making sure I survive my days by making my life NOT all Genny centric. it’s tough… 
– Read two books for me. i did it January, but January also had 2 extra days AND didn’t have any visits from Lucas… Maybe i’ll choose 2 short books. :) 
– Friendships. i need to work on this. My three closest friends live nowhere near here… I miss them. I need to focus on building closer friendships. 
– Small Academy awards get together… I’m excited. 
– personal writing… this has got to improve. since it’s a matter of days before Lucas arrives, i figure i’m going to exhibit grace on myself for this… I once heard that if you truly want to be writing, you will be. While I believe it, i also know i TRULY want/need to be- and I’m not. 
– smash book… 
– start working through the Writer’s Book of Days again… I need the diving board. 
Capture– 
-Valentines
– Sweet
– Date Night Dinner
– hello
– See You Later
– Focus Tree
– Roses
– wine (glass or bottle) 
– footballish
– love
Us– 
– Lucas is coming home for leave. CAN NOT WAIT… 
– GREAT movies coming out this month. {!!!}
– good conversations, with friends… good conversations with our family… 
– celebrating the twelfth birthday of my beautiful niece. 
– board games. Our lives need more board games. 
– Electronicless evenings. 
– cell phone less dinners. 
Heart– 
– I’ve found I am getting easily frustrated with my mom and my sister. i really need to work on that without tearing down the vitally constructed boundaries that are there for my sanity. 
– Getting more involved in our church. 
– continuing to volunteer in our community. 
– patience… it’s good for my heart, I hear. And though my physical heart is fine, my soul-heart needs more patience… and a slower acceleration rate to anger. 
Home– 
– there is a bad sort of stressful, hurtful unrest that settled down over our home. For a few reasons the past week has seen a release in that but i am going to work towards making sure that this pattern continues. 
– we have a cool entry way project that i’m hoping we’ll get done this month. SUPER excited about it! 
– entertain once or twice. 
Health–
– our quest to eat whole has been a good one. It’s amazing how much better we feel, in various ways. Less headaches, more consistent energy. The one thing that is really interesting is that we hungry a lot more… I’m guessing that’s a good thing. 
– water. loving water being a part of our time together. Swimming, play… It’s been great. 
– more tea. 
– yoga. Not just talking about yoga. 
– dancing… the Ellen kind. Whenever possible. 
– speaking of dancing- learn the shuffle… 
Love– 
– we don’t do the romantic Valentines thing. i think it’s ridiculous actually. But, we will have a date night in February and i’m excited for that. 
– we’re currently reading through the Sacred Marriage devotional, and I love it. 
– In January life circumstances led us to a lot of quality conversations… I’m grateful to see this pattern continuing. 
– truly kiss, daily. 
– continue finding ways to respect him. 
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