Love is…

This time of year, you hear and see so much about love. 

it’s every where. 

And it’s kind of sweet, except that it’s not really love. it’s false stories about pretend people. It’s heart shaped boxes and imaginary cupids with arrows and wings. It is songs written out of honesty, but containing only the deepest and best parts of the love itself- never the whole truth. 

Love can be witnessed through photographs in a coffee table album, but it can’t ever live there. Thrive there. Die there. 

Love is a choice. It is not hateful words, months of selfish actions and then three little words said in a goodbye. Sometimes people want to love, but they can’t see past themselves to do it. Sometimes. 

I am not perfect. I am not some poster parent by any means, but I have been learning a lot about love. 

Love IS non-judgemental. 

What that means is that there is no judgement about one’s choices. What that does NOT mean, is that in place of judgement I will encourage them, embrace them (them being the choices), etc. 

Love IS un-conditional. 

What this means is that no actions, words, choices or anything will ever affect the love, change the love, alter the love or destroy the love. What that does NOT mean, is that the one who is loved has the right to use, abuse, lash out at, hurt, etc- the one(s) who love them. Un-conditional love does not mean becoming a door mat to the hostility of the ones you love. 

Love IS supportive. 

What this means is that, regardless of the choices or actions one makes, you will stand by them for who they are at the core of themselves. You will allow consequences to fall, but never waver in lifting them up and embracing them through it. What this does not mean is that you bail them out, embrace their belief that they bear no responsibility in what has occurred and reiterate how much of a victim that they are- enabling them further into the lie. 

Love IS ugly. And painful. 

It just is. Sometimes it’s lovely and reaffirming, but often it isn’t. It’s hard, and it’s lonely. it is always. it is forever. It consumes you and hurts you because the person(s) you love may not always love you back… but it doesn’t matter because love is real and love is there.