Mae @ Rainydayinmay

And finally, Twelve…

Published on December 1, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Me–
– Christmas card making
– Craft club
– editing
– Girls night out (or in).
– Party planning.

Reading–
– Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman
– Happiness at Home by Gretchen Rubin (DECEMBER)
– Falling Together by Marisa de los Santos
– A Christmas Story by Charles Dickens

Watching–
– Christmas movies, Galore.
– Les Miserables

Us–
– Tree adorning
– Christmas cookie baking and decorating
– Christmas light looking at adventures
– more Christmas movies

Heart–
– Church visiting and shopping. (I’m not such a fan of that)
– making this a true season of giving (of ourselves) for others.
– prayer and peaceful, quiet time.

Create–
– cookies, cards and other Christmas magic.
– a few miscellaneous Christmas gifts.

Home–
– baking things that smell delicious.
– making things which catch one’s eye.
– Christmas music.
– laughing.
– popcorn and cocoa movie nights.

Health–
– Water. (drink and be in)
– diligence.
– whole foods.
– taking good mental health breaks.

Love–
– a date night or two. It’s imperative.
– supporting things he is passionate about.

An apology…

Published on November 29, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

I became a wife in April, shortly after I turned 18. While other girls my age were in (or about to be in) college, going to parties and finding themselves, I was getting excited about things like grocery shopping and learning to cook.

Seriously, for me, this was fun.

We had negative amounts of money. I am not kidding. We were 18 and 20, and when we rented our own place (a crazy, dumpy trailer on an Ostrich farm) I had to grocery shop in a way that left us with something to eat every other day, and the majority of those days was Ramen.

As Christmas rolled around, no amount of debt or utility disconnection notices* could dampen my spirits. This was my first Christmas, as a wife. My first Christmas as an adult.

I was still discovering things, in the supermarket that made adulthood all the more exciting. My husband loved Double Stuff Oreos and so when I came across these white fudge Oreos, at the start of the Christmas season, I bought them to surprise him. While i had never been a big Oreo fan, we both felt like these amazing pieces of white chocolate heaven were THE Christmas treat.

We skipped a power bill payment to purchase 5 $5 cookie jars from a dollar store* and put a box of these cookies* in each one.

We honestly felt like we had created the most incredible $7 gift and were absolute geniuses! Each family, in our families, received a “classy” puppy or cow shaped cookie jar, complete with a package of white chocolate Oreos.

The underwhelmed response we received from parents, aunts and uncles caught us totally off guard.

Last week we made it to Target to choose a new coat for Genny. (crazy kid just won’t stop growing. Inconsiderate.) While there, hubby gasped with excitement over our stumbling into an endcap of these white fudge Oreos. They are such a nostalgia for us, and reminders of that horribly hard time when a box of silly cookies held true magic.

I forgot about them until last night when we were watching TiVo and Chw brought them out with a glass of milk. He bit into one, and handed me a second.

That damn cookie was one of the most unpleasant things my mouth has had to chew in years*. What was it exactly?

Gross…

And to those of you who received ugly cookie jars and nasty cardboard and crisco covered cookies those 18 years ago- from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry…

*We do pride ourselves on never having had a utility disconnected. Ever. Not that this is a bad thing, it’s a complete miracle, especially in those days. We have made some dumb mistakes, (yes, dumber than NOT paying our power bill to buy some cheap, lead paint cookie jars) we are blessed it was never worse.

*I haven’t set foot in a “dollar” store (of any type) in well over a decade.**

* There were seriously about 20-24 cookies in the package. It was 1994 and we paid $1.98 a package. Last week we paid $4 for a package of 12.

** I am totally not a snob. I don’t go to dollar stores because I am super anal about quality and i don’t buy a lot of excessive stuff. I have loads of awesome friends whom I respect that frequent dollar stores- I just don’t go. Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. Here, Have a cookie. Wait. Nevermind…

The right stuff, baby…

Published on November 27, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay10 Comments

It is nauseating the amount of pressure we put on ourselves, isn’t it?

It is almost like we realized, one day, that there was this imaginary set of guidelines that we had to comply with, in order to be a decent person.

Just this morning, since I had woken up early and Gen was still asleep, i decided to clear off my tivo. I don’t record a lot, but there are a few things that only I watch. As i turned the tv on, a surge of guilt chilled through me.

What if someone finds out you wake up in the mornings and turn the tv on?

The voice chiding me, from the back of my head, sneered in absolute judgement.

I knew, in that instant, that this voice visits me a lot, and motivates me to make choices other than what I had originally intended.

I just hadn’t ever realized it before.

Genny and i are reading a couple of books that talk about this very thing, our inner drive/desire/unrealistic-motivation to be “good girls”. You know, the sort of girl that does things so that people will like us, or so people (at the very least) won’t hate us. Mine is for women, and Gen’s book is for girls.

And apparently, it’s really sinking in.

Here’s the truth. I don’t wake up and turn the tv on. Ever. In fact, IF the tv turns on during the day at all, it’s in the late afternoon and that is usually by the thirteen year old, and even that is rare. But the point i am realizing is, WHO CARES? If you care, that’s your problem, not mine. I did spend the whole of last Sunday, on the couch in pajamas, watching Lifetime Christmas movies. Again, who cares. For dinner that night, my husband picked up McDonalds. Yet again, who cares?

{Well, that time, I did care. i mean, yuck. It doesn’t taste good and it has the nutritional value of laundry detergent… }

Side note aside though, I am realizing this heavy and intense pressure that I have just accepted, in all of these small ways. While I have made it a definitive habit to not pass judgement upon other women in the world, their looks, style or ambitions- what I have instead done is stuck myself in an analization room. Scrutiny and comparisons have taken place of things like confidence and security.

It all boils down to the fact that, by the standards I have convinced myself I must live by, there is no way I could ever amount to anything.

That is no way to live. Yet most of us girls do it. I am so thankful to be realizing this, and for Genny to be able to identify and personalize it, before she is 36 like me…

What pressures do you put on yourself to be a “good” girl?

$%#&*%$!!!

Published on November 26, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

How was your Thanksgiving?

Was it lovely and family drama free?

I hope so…

I have talked a little bit, on here, about this adoption mess which has consumed pretty much our entire year. For the most part though, I have spared you the sordid, ugly details. One thing I didn’t mention was around the start of summer we made the very difficult decision (together) to cut ties with several family members. You see, the adoption ordeal was beyond traumatic and it opened out eyes to the select number of family members who are so self consumed that they:

– say completely heartless and inappropriate things;

– have hurt and/or rejected one, two or three of our kids consistently;

– refused to even make an ounce of effort to be there for us when we, as a family, desperately needed people.

Sidenote: flat out begging people to take notice and care, and them still refusing to look past the nose on their own face is the worst feeling ever. It breaks children’s hearts, it breaks siblings hearts. While nothing is unforgivable, unfortunately it is unforgettable.

Since that decision, there have been two majorly manipulative and dramatic displays of instance, regarding said “family” members, but for the most part we have had a peaceful, easy feeling when it came to our decision. We knew instantly, in regards to our kids, that it was not only the right decision, but incredibly long overdue.

And so, since we had our Premature Thanksgiving celebration, earlier in the month, we decided to treat the “real” Thanksgiving like a day of luxury and laziness. We didn’t cook. We did no chores. We watched movies and ate pie. Friends dropped by to eat more pie and it was perfect!

We had delicious things to eat, (I discovered a deliciously amazing snack that I will share with you one day!) we had plenty to drink and we even had extra whipped cream for the pie- should we run out.

We had thought of everything-

Well, except for the one problem we hadn’t counted on.

“Family”.

There were calls, and texts. There was meanness, manipulation and guilting.

It was pathetic.

Unfortunately, cutting ties with self consumed and toxic people will not insure a drama free holiday.

At least we know in time for Christmas! :)

Dear Starbucks… and Society.

Published on November 21, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

Dear Starbucks,

After a ridiculously quick trip to the supermarket, my daughter and I ran through your drive through. Being that we are Americans, we appreciate the occasional trip to one of your coffee bars like the good treat it should be. While there though, I have to admit you disappointed me.

Well, no, it wasn’t my chai latte or the drink my teenage daughter chose.

It was, instead, your holiday plans. Thanksgiving? Christmas? Is it REALLY a vital necessity that you insist your stores are open for BOTH holidays? Really?

REALLY???

Let’s be honest, our society has moved ourselves so far off the mark that it’s ridiculous. What was once a reclusive act of a select number of stores opening early on the Friday after Thanksgiving, to jumpstart the holiday shopping, has become a ridiculous and out of control obsession. Every store in the world participates, and people eat it up like candy flavored crack snack cakes that are about to be pulled from the shelves…

{Sidenote for the people… Two weeks ago, did you put ANY Hostess snack cakes on your must-have, grocery staple list? No? Then why the flip were you pushing aside young children to get the last box of ho ho’s not even a week ago?}

We, as a society, sicken me, Starbucks. Our consumer driven obsessions are out of control and driving our economy straight to the crapper. Spending money we don’t have on cheap-ass garbage made exclusively FOR black friday shoppers will NOT bring back jobs and stability. Why? Because said cheap-ass garbage wasn’t even made here, and more than likely half of the work force would rather NOT deal with:

A) being forced to work holidays where they’d rather be spending time with their family;

B) having to cook a Thanksgiving meal in between shifts;

C) having to go to work at midnight, on black Friday and stay til God knows when, witnessing the out of control gorging of complete strangers.

Starbucks, YOU are responsible for furthering the chaos.

Granted, it isn’t all your fault, but when a company like you- known for bringing jobs, supporting fair trade and being an all around fairly (I said fairly, critics) stand up company- you manipulate a weak minded and influential society to corporate worship you. Other companies do it too, so don’t get your knickers all twisted because I am singling you out.

I am singling you out because I really thought you were better than this.

Who will finally ignore the bottom line and put an end to the madness? To the camping out for cheaply manufactured electronics and rushed dinners so that you can be the first in line at the biggest sale?

Remind me why we bother with Thanksgiving at all?

Where is the gratitude?

As we start the holiday season, where is the good will? The Peace to all?

Because all I see is America’s disgusting corporate motto: Make another buck, make them spend another buck…

And I am so sad that we still fall for it…

I did ask our Starbucks why in the world they were open, and in a very sad voice the manager told us that you corporately polled a variety of customers and they unanimously “voted” for you to be open both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It is sad that you even took the poll in the first place, but far sadder that anyone was selfish enough to expect a Starbucks to be open both days. It’s not like it’s a place of shelter and refuge, or a place for groceries or water. It’s a place for $5, high calorie coffee drinks and pastries.

Disappointed and finding your lattes less, and less delicious,

Misty Wagner