I am taking part in this weeks Five Minute friday, even though I wasn’t planning on it due to the letters. Reading Gypsy Mama’s post this morning really tugged at my heart strings…
So here goes…
The giggle of a toe headed, ringlet crowned girl reminds me of something I often ignore. It isn’t ever that i forget because I am way too smart for that.
No, i grab hold of a reason to feel another thing- be it resentment or sadness, self pity or exhaustion, and I simply pretend like joy isn’t mine to have.
Joy during the dark storm clouds. During the fat droplets of umbrella-less rain.
Joy when sleep stubbornly refuses to come my way.
Joy when my pot boils over, because is it not a blessing to have the bubbling water, source of cooking and pasta anyhow?
It’s so easy to think of. Easy to convict myself of all of the reasons to find joy in every second of every moment, in every moment of every day. Easy.
Yet, i flee from it for something more comfortable- something ugly.
Something I believe to be more me.
Seeing truth in this joylessness, seeing the honesty in my reason might not be enough to remember to grasp for the option less chosen. But it also might be the motivation I need.
Today. Now. At 8:20 in the morning I’ve embraced joy and I’m not letting go…