i blame germany…

I miss you. 

A lot. 

I miss the way you laugh, and the talks we have. I miss the life that you bring home, just when you walk through the door. 

I miss that good, secure, mom feeling when the door is locked and night and I know that you are there, under our roof, sleeping. 

I miss you being big-brother-mean to Genny. 

I miss goodnight hugs. See you later hugs. 

I miss movie chats, and watching them. 

Chw misses you too. Projects and dreaming of projects… 

I miss that too… 

I miss how happy we all are when you are here, because we feel more whole. Complete. 

The basketball hoop misses you. 

It gets, pretty much ignored, when you aren’t here. 

Against our knowledge a rather large family of wasps moved into it, over the summer. I suspect they are illegals. I am allergic, you know. The last time I was stung, i was hospitalized. It was ugly. I was stung by a German hornet. Now suddenly we have a family of illegals living in our hoop. Germans? Maybe… Anything is possible. 

Germany, and eventually somewhere much uglier, hotter and more dangerous, is way too far away. I know it’s not your fault, and I know you’d come home today if you could. I also feel it’s only fair to warn you that I’m not kidding at all when I say that once you come home- you won’t leave. i won’t let you. i know I’ve said it before, but this experience has taught me that drastic measures are needed… 

At any rate, if I ever get all emotional on skype and try telling you about the wasps and how much they make me think of you- now you’ll know what I mean. 

They only serve to remind me of this blindingly horrible thing that i couldn’t forget even if I wanted to… 

I miss you. 

A lot.