Category: Misc.

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and – SNAP – the job’s a game!”

~Mary Poppins

And for fun, you should watch this… :)

Dear Neighbor lady,

We haven’t met. I don’t know what you look like, what your voice sounds like or exactly where in this beautiful neighborhood that you live. Even so, I already feel like I know more about you than i care to.

You are a mean spirited person and after hours of anger and frustration over you, I have to thank the Lord that I don’t know you. As for you, wherever your standings are with God and heaven- you should be abundantly grateful that you don’t know me.

What is it that I supposedly know about you? Well, I know that you take great pride and pleasure in insulting a fourteen year old girl, who was only trying to show you some courtesy and kindness. I also know that my sweet dog, (who is still adjusting to this townhome way of living, verses the large fenced yard she had just one month ago) exhibited more manners through her excitement to meet you and your daughter than you showed in the first fifteen seconds after you opened your mouth- and it just got more ugly from there.

You like to be mean? You like to bully girls younger than you?

Have fun with that, and in the meantime you can tuck yourself in at night with the realization that this isn’t a big neighborhood and we are more than likely going to cross paths again. Trust me, it will be equally as memorable as your moment with my daughter was for her, tears and all.

xoxoxo,

M

The weather is calling for snow today. Again. I have a friend who just moved to Florida. Suffice it to say, I wake up in extreme jealousy.

In other news- throughout the end of last week, and the weekend, I thought of one hundred and five really great blog posts. I mean really, these were top notch, read worthy writing ideas. Then the cold “light”, (I say “light” because it is merely a dip, cloud scarved glow really) of Monday morning I realized that pretty much anything would sound fascinating and read worthy when one is drunk on the unpacking of cardboard boxes and bubble wrap.

Actually, drunk may not be the right word because aren’t there stages of drunk that are sort of fun?

We are well past the point of fun here, people. WELL past.

I did have a run in with a lady at Target that I thought I’d tell you all about. It’s not a great story, but it’s all I’ve got…

So, we were at Target. (gripping, isn’t it?) Actually, we were walking in to Target and there was this lady pushing a cart, sprinting through the parking lot. She nearly plowed over my youngest, who saved her life only by pushing me out of the way and assuming my position next to Chw. (While this is only a slightly dramatized rendition of actual events, it really was some form of this scenario. Enough to irritate me anyway.)

Any target I have ever been in has the bathrooms to the left of the entrance, and the carts to the right. It is crucial to the next part of the story for you to imagine our Target set up exactly this way. Ok??? Ok!

So, said speed racing lady runs into the store, gives her cart (empty) a shove and turns straight away to the restroom, leaving empty and abandoned cart sailing towards the Target associate collection of aligned carts. While this doesn’t seem so horrible- irresponsible, yes, but horrible? No.- The issue is (and it’s an issue many Target’s likely have in this area) there is a woman there, who recently pulled a cart out of the light up, and is getting situated with her child, purse and other belongings.

Can you see it? Can you picture what happened?

Yep! My dear, sweet husband tried to dive for the speeding cart, but he fell short and it slammed right into the ladies backside. Of course she turned to see the remnants of his reach for it and assumed he did the damage. I was more than irate at this point. I marched right into the restroom, almost on the heals of that hit-and-run monster.

Excuse me, ma’am? 

Of all nerve, the broad was washing her hands. “Oh hi! yes?”

You very nearly plowed over my kid in the parking lot, because you weren’t paying attention and then you threw your cart into a woman. 

“Oh my gosh! I did? I am so, so sorry!”

In the movies it would have all played out so much differently. She was very sweet, just just wasn’t paying attention. It could have been any of us I guess. Maybe not at Target, but somewhere else. We all get a little caught up in our own distractions. The really funny part was apparently I had chastised my kiddo about shoving me out of the way, in the parking lot and then, when we walked in I said “REALLY? NO WAY!” and marched into the bathroom. Still caught up in her lack of situational awareness, she apparently turned to my husband and said “oh my gosh! What’s going on? What did I do?” freaking out because of my rage over her pushing me. I’m sure she was thinking to herself “I do this all of the time, why is it such a big deal this time?” Which is sadly a true story- and exactly why I chastised her in the first place.

It’s true, you guys, my kid is a pusher.

Anyway… A little bit of a drama really changes the dynamics of a trip to the store for fabric softener and a Tide pen.

Moral of the story: let’s all pay a little more attention. {and not push our mamas.}

I am about to get personal here, you guys. Part of my motivation is likely that I just don’t want to pack anymore…

I have this super awesome app on my iphone called Bingo Run. It’s super awesome because it’s the game of Bingo, and i LOVE Bingo.

For the past few weeks, I’ve had insomnia of sorts. I fall asleep (usually) with ease- but wake up 2-3 hours later, to the dead of night. We currently have no tv or dvd’s to watch- (see: packed) so I end up laying there dreaming of pinterest projects or playing time wasting games on my phone. {Because really, when is it an absolutely appropriate time to waste time on your phone– if it isn’t at 3 am when you’re trying NOT to hear the bumps in the night???}

If I cave and play Bingo then, (and I can only play so many earned credits in a day, which is an altogether tragic and good thing.) then I have to keep my sound off and strain my eyes to watch the numbers called AND daub my “card”. {as you can see, I truly do have huge problems and my life is very, very difficult. It’s a wonder I’m so strong. *cough*} Should I choose to wait though- until my husband is awake and gone for the day- well, then I can turn the sound on and have a much easier 12 minute dose of Bingo.

So I wait…

And then, because I’m usually dying to pee by this point- I take my phone and pee while playing Bingo.

And like clockwork- every morning- my dog freaks out.

She hears the robotic sounding caller- N-33… and she starts growling at the bathroom door.

It isn’t an aversion to the game Bingo itself as, prior to my semi-insomniac way of life, she heard me play it hundreds of times and was pretty unmoved. So, I think it’s fair to say that my dog believes I hide a man in my bathroom and rush to spend time with him once my husband walks out the door. This is also most likely why she barges in, once the door is open, and checks every nook and cranny while eyeing me accusingly. This may even be why, should i go back to bed, she will jump up and scowl at me. Should I reach to pet her, she will just growl and jump down.

There is obviously angst between us, and I can only assume it’s because she believes I’m having an affair with an animatronic bingo caller.

My life is so much more exciting from my dog’s perspective…