Category: gratitude

Unexpected…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay8 Comments
I decided to take part, this morning, in Gypsy Mama’s 5 Minute Friday… 

GO… 
Through pregnancy tests and losses- 
through ultrasounds and clean up surgeries- 
through increasingly cautious joy and broken hearts- I never imagined… 
I would hear it- God has a plan. And I would believe. 
I knew, on that day 11 years and 19 days ago when my womb was no longer even in me- that God’s plan did not involve a baby of my own. 
Less broken hearted than the loss of a child, I still ached. I also still believed. Believed in God’s plan. His unforeseeable plan that I could not even imagine. 
And then, there they were… 
Unexpectedly before me, all I had to do was look up, and there were beautiful faces and voices, laughter and smiles filling my hole bored heart. 
And life changed. 
No more was I my own, could I be mine. 
Without looking for signs and proof I knew that, no matter how steep the climb or tough the interference, these were meant to be mine and I loved them as if they were, as if they had always been. 
That’s the beauty of the walk- the journey. We feel our heart’s aches- and God hears them. God weaves these dreams together in ways that we could never design and gives us moments and memories unexpected and glorious. 
And those moments, for me, are my kids… 
END.
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Tin… Ten… Rings…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay9 Comments
It is a bit of a backwards world we live in when the honorable gift for ten years of busting one’s proverbial ass in a reconciled marriage, while also becoming parents (HARDEST JOB EVER!) and all through a craptastic economy too, is symbolized in tin and/or aluminum. 
Because, you know, what deserves a gigantic ball of wadded up Reynold’s wrap? That run on sentence, and NOT my marriage… 
That’s ok though. I mean, it is a completely acceptable gift for one naive 18 year old to give another naive 18 year old a ridiculously overpriced diamond, which they likely went into debt for… But ten year anniversary of your trip to hell and back? Tin-foil. Boo. Boo you, tradition. Boo you! {Think hag in the Princess Bride because THAT is what I was going for…}
My awesome husband took me to a super delish, fancy schmancy dinner and later closed the evening with an ultra romantic dessert of fondue at my all time favorite place with it’s super sexy lighting and ambiance. It was a great night. It was tin free. And Aluminum free. In fact, had our waiter attempted to bring us our leftovers in the shape of a foil crafted swan, I would have thrown it in his face and demanded Styrofoam because I respect my marriage that much… 
In our nearly eighteen years (total) of marriage though, we’ve never given ourselves gifts. It never felt a priority. Wait, this is not true. Back in 2007 when Chw and I were in the midst of the great Anniversary date debate– {meaning I believed we should celebrate our initial date and he wanted our reconciliation date- end result being never celebrating anything…} and he tried to woo me to his side with fancy gifts like roses and T & Co. jewelry… I played fair though, and gave him nothing and I won anyway. Well, technically we both won. In the manner of fairness, we chose that year to begin to celebrate on both dates… {only moderately embarrassed that it took us six years to get to that point.} 
Anyway, the whole entire, convoluted point of this post was to tell you that we replaced our wedding rings this year. I realize how wonderfully expensive that sounds, especially following the mention of my T & Co. necklace… Alas’, I LOVE our rings, and they were anything but expensive.

 “I am yours…”
“You & Me” 
{and on the inside, “Always”}
But they are unique, super cool, handmade and best of all- we can be certain no one’s life was lost in the making of said rings. :) I LOVE THEM!!!! 
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My honey, my baby- don’t put my love upon no shelf…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment
If you read yesterday, you surely know about Girl’s proposal adventures… 
This tale picks years after the wedding in the old church. Years after Boy and Girl found a cozy cottage to make their home. Quite some time, in fact, after Boy decided to leave Girl and things turned again flat. 
Flat and lonely. 
And Girl grew up, and found herself. She learned that she loved things (like Death Cab for Cutie and hot dogs at baseball games.) Girl learned to be happy, for happiness sake and not because someone else loved, wanted or needed her or her milk… 
But Boy came back and things got better. Boy Boy and Girl realized happily ever after isn’t real, and both Boy and Girl learned to appreciate that. And in time, they decided to get married again. Together they ring shopped, wanting a fresh start. Together they were discouraged by cost versus quality- and what it all meant in the long run anyway. They wanted to focus on the important things, not the superficial so finally they chose the best quality set- for the lowest price. Boy proposed by kneeling at her doorstep, the new ring hidden within a rose. 
Both Boy and Girl truthfully hated the new rings. They were ugly and represented nothing about them. Still though, they reminded each other about true beauty, love and gratitude. Secretly though, one January day when a band of thieves in the grand forest (we’ll just call it Las Angeles, you know, hypothetically) robbed Girl of her wedding set- she was a little relieved. While she loved Boy with her whole heart, she’d felt wicked and superficial despising the rings and was glad they were gone. 
Also secretly, though he’d never say it- Girl suspected Boy was jealous that his wedding band hadn’t been stolen too… 
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Whack…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments
These days I am forced to think about the small moments as the most important ones. I feel like, in every area of my life there is some sort of issue. There isn’t a relationship, aside from my marriage, that is going smoothly- and this makes me sad. I get frustrated and I just feel suffocation, like it’s all out of control and coming to an end… 
But then, the sunlight streams through the trees in that gleaming way which screams reassurance. Not reassurance in one thing, but just something reassuringly beautiful. 
And I’ll take it. 
I’ll hold it so close to my heart that my chest becomes it’s home- and I will return my palm to it every time the outside life makes me want to kick and scream and cry. 
I decided today that I’m going to do that, this week, hide myself in the little things. In the wonders and the minutes that surprise me sweetly. The big things are ugly today, and tomorrow too… Not forever, but for awhile, and if I think about that- I can’t handle it… 
So, right now, it is the little things. The candy covered ground, flecked with pinata fragments- that’s where you’ll find me. Which is ok, because if I stand up- I am likely to get hit upside the head with the swinging bat. 
Candy is way better… 
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A charmingly woeful tale…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments
This is the very sad story about a girl who returned home to a state, let’s say Idaho, just after one of her favorite bands performed a big show there. Hypothetically, for legitimacy sake, we’ll say this band was Death Cab for Cutie.
The girl was pretty sad. {She also missed getting to sit down and chat candidly with Matt Damon, but that’s an entirely different story…} So, sadly the SEE DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE LIVE part of her life’s goals check list remained untouched.
Le’ Sigh…
Life went on, and many other lines became scratched off. She was happy about this and uber grateful. Eventually the scars of missing Death Cab by just an inch began to heal and finally they retreated to hide in that secret place where the many missed Dave Matthews show scars had gone. {That is a truly terrible series’ of stories that she may or may not talk about one day.}
Moving on- One day Girl got really sick and all of the health experts in her village scratched their heads in confusion telling her, time and again, We just don’t know what could possibly be wrong with you, Girl! So, she was sad once again. As her strength grew weaker {er, shrankweaker???}, she missed weddings and parties, weekend trips and all sorts of fun adventures. It was in this delirious and debilitated state that Girl learned that one of her most favorite bands, of all time- {Death Cab!!!!} was once again planning a performance in her village. Hope blossomed within her, like a hydrangea bush and she optimistically looked forward to the day that she would sway with thousands of others during Soul Meets Body, and her life would be complete.
Alas, doctor’s bills from Girl’s mystery illness began to stack up. Prescriptions increased in cost and ran dry having no altering betterment on her health. Girl realized that it was a frivolous purchase to buy tickets to the glorious Death Cab event, and sadly she walked past the ticket booth and pushed them from her mind.
Messages came, via cellular technology, in a rare abundance asking Girl if she planned to go to Death Cab. It seemed everyone was going, and forgetting about the show seemed  an impossibility. Then, one day, Girl’s friend Kelly won tickets to see Death Cab. Due to life circumstances Kelly could not attend the event and offered her beloved, magical, prized tickets to Girl.
Girl cried with happiness. {HAPPINESS!!!} Girl read SEE DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE LIVE in her goal journal over and over and over again. Like a dream coming true- this reality once again dawned hope.
Her mystery illness, however, had other plans. The day before the show she fell ill with a fever and rested as much as possible. She was determined not to miss it. The night before the show left her ill and sleepless, but her strong will prevailed. She finally rose and began to busy herself in preparation on what was to be the magical event day. She felt great. As the hours passed however, and the show neared- she grew weaker and her fever raged higher. With the diagnosis (after months of no answers) of pneumonia came the crippling instructions telling her to rest and nothing else, {Cue crushing gameshow music}. No night air. No exertion. Repetitively her doctor assured her that Girl had no idea how truly sick she was.
No Death Cab. Girl was sure no one knew how truly sad she was.
Hoping to cuddle up somewhere warm and find the rest which eluded her- to balm her heartache- Girl was surprised to learn of Boy’s other plans.

No concert? No Death Cab? I have a great idea then! Why don’t I turn our entire house upside down? Move the lower floor of our humble cottage to the upper floor and switch everything around! Won’t that be adventurous? Won’t that be fun? !?!?!
Thinking Boy meant someday, she nodded to appease him. While typically adventures of the home interior type were Girl’s most adored adventures of all- these days finding the bottle of milk on a different shelf in the refrigerator seemed extreme enough.  Taken quickly by sleep, Girl woke twenty minutes later to boy disassembling nearly everything.
BIG Sigh, Cough, Cough…
As sad stories go, this is far from the saddest- but it’s still pretty sad all the same. If there were a moral it would probably be something like don’t hope, don’t dream– but that somehow makes it more horror story than sad tale so instead I’ll make it this: life is full of adventures- don’t pin your hope on just one because that isn’t fair to the fun waiting around the corner…
Oh yeah, and this: Your tv can always be moved back, if it looks awful, and he’ll have to do it since this was his idea in the first place!
The End… 

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