journey – Page 86

1998 called… Literally…

Published on June 12, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

Last week the girls, (you’ll remember we were babysitting Lil’ C) and I went to a local park for an afternoon romp through the water.

I took some super cute pictures, but they are still on my camera. Whatever, I digress…

Imagine the aforementioned 13 year old and 6 year old splashing around and having a lovely little time when suddenly my life changed.

I, being both a writer AND a lover of films and music, have often wondered what my life’s soundtrack would be- should I wake up one day to find it is just like in the movies… You know, with amazing and perfectly fitting back ground music.

So, imagine my surprise when there I am, sitting on the shaded park bench reading my kindle when all of a sudden I hear the Backstreet Boys track “I want it that way” begin to play. Gracefully I scan the park to see who in the world could be so ~~pathetic~~ interesting to blare such a song, in a park.

The thing was though, I could not find anyone. The music sounded so faint, yet there was no questioning it- BSB…

Also being quite OCD, it began to drive me a bit crazy. I shifted my position and the volume increased.

Wait a minute…

And then I realized it was coming from my iPhone, sitting beside me.

EXCEPT that it was my regular screen.

And I do not have BSB on there.

And then it stopped.

Mysterious, right?

It really was. So much so that I thought about it again on Thursday. And Friday. And over the weekend.

But yesterday I wasn’t thinking of it at all when I popped my phone onto the dog and opened the Pandora app. When the app loaded and “I want it that way” began playing, (on my Kings of Leon playlist- of all things.) Mystery was solved…

Sort of.

I mean, relieving that a Ghost hadn’t been calling me with his special BSB ringtone, BUT then again- who turned Pandora on and off? hmmm. ;)

Sister/sister…

Published on June 11, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

Happy birthday, to my beautiful little sister.
You were the first keeper of my secrets.
You were my first true best friend.
You have been there for every love, every broken heart, every life loss. Every thing…

I am so grateful that our paths were destined to intertwine.
I can not put into words how much I love you; how much you mean to me.
All of the best memories have you in them.

I am so grateful for your beautiful heart and the empathy and love that you carry for others who are hurting.
Such a gift you are, to the world.
Such a gift that you are, to me.
I love you, always.
Thank you for being the very best sister a girl could possibly have.

Choices…

Published on June 8, 2012 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

For the entirety of our relationship we have had quite a few family members who have treated us with extreme manipulation and blatant animosity. For awhile we endured, and then we distanced. Though distancing made our everyday lives significantly more peaceful- the unfortunate times we were with said family members was much worse.

Eventually life found us living on the other side of the country and creating a lovely little urban sort of family. Life also made us parents. there is something about knowing that your kid literally aches for grandparents or aunts/uncles that is pretty heartbreaking. Heartbreaking enough to remove those boundaries and make a pact with your spouse to be extra graceful…

Of course, a majority of the time, it’s the child who gets hurt because selfish and narcissistic people do and say some pretty hateful things. By then though, everything has gotten far more complicated and so you just sort of fumble and cope. That is, until something huge happens like the possibility of losing your child and your family literally breaking in half. Then, life gives you a great big ass kicking and you give the toxic people a chance to step up and save their position in your kids’ lives or get out for good.

Some choices were made, either by pretending we said nothing, or by walking away. Some apologies were said, and life moved on. Until last week. Last week something wicked was said in regards to an amount of money spent (a SMALL amount, at that) to be there for one of our kids when they really need someone to be there. I found myself there again- on the brink of decision. Ignoring the fact that the person saying it really has no idea about parental sacrifice- the words cut me to the core and have forever altered our relationship. It is amazing to me how many people- because a child did not slip and slide themselves from my vagina- REFUSE to acknowledge our kids as ours, and our family as real.

For the gazillionth time I am left shaking my head and wondering what is wrong with people?

No matter though. My life standard is as such: You can insult me, neglect me, ignore me, badmouth me, lie to me or any other ugly thing you want- but do not even think about doing any of that to my kid or you will lose out BIG time. I am blessed to be the mom of three of the most remarkable human beings I have ever known and anyone who refuses to embrace and love the hell out of them can turn around and walk away from all of us.

Right. Now.

Because I am done playing games. Games hurt my kids’ hearts and those people aren’t worth it. Having NO family outside of us is far better than the hurt…

Courting nostalgia…

Published on June 7, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

Court this morning.

Stomach knots and nerves…

Pray, please?

In other news, it has been interesting timing having a little one in the house, this week. A good distraction for fun over responsibility, for sure.

Miss Lil’ C has helped us get in touch with our inner children.

We’ve becoming reacquainted with things like Max & Ruby, tea parties (more on that later), Laurie Berkner and the ever wonderful Philadelphia Chickens.

It’s funny how those things which were once incredibly annoying are suddenly sweetly nostalgic.

Life’s funny…

In the meantime… HAPPY Thoughts from a lovely week:

Twirling…

Sweet, tiny, polka dot toes…

Dressed up rest times with books on the kindle…

Cartwheels and handstands…

Oh my. :)

Alright, crash course to adulthood…

This post was brought to you by the background noise of Dora the Explorer…

On being Rachel…

Published on June 6, 2012January 17, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

It’s been an interesting mom week around our house. Being that Genny is our youngest and the only kid at home- it has been really fun to see her take on a different role.

When Genny was six years old, she had a special friend in the form of a 13 year old girl named Rachel. While Rachel would “babysit” Gen, (at her house, while her parents were home- Rachel simply entertaining her) they played all sorts of games and formed all kinds of memories that 7 years later Genny still holds them among her most cherished.

This week Genny has had a blast “being Rachel” to our adorable little six year old friend lil’ C… {Sidenote: up until this week, it was Chw (Big C) who had the most favor with lil’ C but i do believe Genny and I have made some headway :) }