Category: family

A Mere Distraction…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments
If you are keeping up with things around Chez’ Wagner, here at Rainy Day in May- then you already know about our super sadness… As you can imagine, we’ve been in the market for some distractions. 
One came in the form of ice cream, and one in chocolate. A major one has come in the form of lots of sleep… When not sleeping or delighting in chocolate and frozen heaven though, I read a book and watched a movie. 
And counted the hours til’ the Glee Project, but that’s an altogether different thing… 
The book I picked up, expecting not to be able to get into it due to my heavy heart was Alice Bliss. Not only did I manage to get into it- but I could not put it down until I had turned the last page. LOVELY! 
I am so incredibly sorry that I left my readers to such torturous books this summer when this amazing piece of literature was out there… 
Thinking that I was on a roll, i ran down and rented this movie: 
The Romantics… Have you seen it? 
I’ve been waiting for awhile. Such an amazing cast, and let’s face it- I have loved Josh since his All My Children days… 
It was interesting. Quirky and bizarre. Dark in strange ways. An awkward human study where, at the same time a part of you questions if humans are really like this odd study portrays. It had strange musical moments or amazing ones. Believably deep performances and some of the cinema shots towards the end were phenomenal. 
Over all, although distracting it was not really what I’d hoped. 
Too bad… 
Tomorrow I plan to start Plainsong, to which I saw the HORRIBLE Hallmark movie for- and found myself completely intrigued by the novel. Also, while my husband scrolled through years of digital photos looking to soothe his soul while Makaila slept beside him- I got busy and {finally} joined Good Reads. Addictive. Are you on there? If so- find me! 
So, tell me- chocolate and ice cream aside- what are your “go to” distractions when your heart is aching? 
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Our Girl…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments
There are so many things that I have no clue how to do. 
So many things I am not, at all, good at. 
Dealing with heartbreakingly sad things is one of them… 
I’ve been told I go one of two ways. 
I either completely shut down, OR I become the robot dealer. 
Several weeks ago when we came to the hard realization that there was something seriously wrong with our sweet golden retriever Makaila- Chw and I had the talk. We hypothetically made all of the hard decisions so that when the time came- we wouldn’t selfishly go to whatever extent possible to prolong a dying life. It was sad, and teary- but still hypothetical. 
Yesterday morning Chw went for his bike ride and then came home and made blueberry pancakes for his girls. He went in to work late because he had to take Makaila to the vet, as the medicine prescribed was not working. I was staying behind to take Amanda to the airport as she was scheduled to fly to Vegas for her best friend’s wedding. 
It all went downhill following the pancakes… 
Majorly delayed flights. Work issues. School stresses. Cancer. 
My dog has cancer. 
The vet assured us that there are options though. 
A medication that could give us about 3 months. 
A $4000 surgery that could give us close to 10 months. 
Neither of those feel like options, honestly. 
To the world she is just a dog. 
To us, she is a part of our heart. She was the sweet baby puppy we adopted when we knew we’d never have a child of our own and that we needed to move on. 
To our youngest, she is the best friend who has been there since she came to be our daughter. 
The idea of home without her feels nothing like home at all. 
We are in an impossibly sad place- and as hard as it all feels, we’ve decided to celebrate the beautiful girl she is, and has been for us. We have a week or two- and over those days we are going to make sure her days are filled with things she love, that help her feel loved. We have been so blessed with such an amazing pet. She has protected us, loved us faithfully, cheered us up, nurtured our heart breaks and created a trillion and a half amazing memories… 
Send your positive energy, thoughts and prayers for us please… 
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Good Morning, me…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay10 Comments
I couldn’t sleep last night. 
I couldn’t even pinpoint why. I was just, completely, wide awake. 
When I finally gave up trying, I crawled from bed and began my morning routine- to which I now do without any trouble at all. 
I washed my face. 
I poured a cup of coffee. 
As a special, first day of school, treat- I put cinnamon rolls in the oven to rise, before baking. 
I read for awhile. 
When it was time, my family began bustling and moving about. 
We talked. 
We ate breakfast. 
I watched Genny, my baby, put together the clothing ensemble she’s been stressing about for weeks. 
She flat ironed her hair. 
She donned blue eye shadow and a pale pink lip gloss. 
She grabbed her lunch money, her back pack and hopped in the car. 
Nervously, 7 minutes later, she finally took a deep breath and climbed down to the pavement. 
You’ll have such a great day, I assured. 
I hope so, she sighed– obviously unsure suddenly. 
She ascended up the steps as I backed from my parking space. 
She stopped and turned, waving at me, she blew a kiss and mouthed “I love you.” 
It was not until that moment that I even felt like I wanted to cry- and by the time I realized it the tears were hot upon my cheek. 
It is this part of the routine I don’t know. 
The house quiet part. 
The time on my hands part. 
This might take some time… 

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paper butterflies…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments
Home is a pretty big concept to some of us. While the world is seasoned with home veterans, who grew up in places warm, safe and inviting- the world seams overflowing with those of us who didn’t. 
And like, with everything else, we often find ourselves fumbling around in an effort to find some guidebook that sums up exactly what a home should be. 
Some of us turn to Pottery Barn catalogs, movie/television sets and blogs. 
We open credit lines at furniture galleries.
We max out credit cards.
We keep looking and trying to create that flawless showcase home which balances the perfect amount of staged, lived in qualities while it also helps the people in it to look as happy and content as the glossy photos inspiring us makes theirs seem. 
Some of us compare ourselves to the Proverbs 31 example and become Stepford Wives who eat, drink and breath the perfect image of submissiveness, well manicured beauty and quiet, well behaved children. 
Neither one really gets us any closer to the art of homemaking though. The truly amazing thing to me is that, despite popular slogans or cliches, a home only needs TWO elements to make it the best possible home it can be…
A spouse does not make a home. 
A Child does not make a home. 
A dweller does. A. One. One person living within a space- be it a trailer, a tent, a loft, an English Tudor. The means of the shelter does not matter so long as one person lives there. 
Furthermore, that residing soul does not need an endless line of cash/credit. 
They do not need an artistic spirit. 
They do not need incredible painting skills, or amazing antiques and collectibles. 
They only need to be authentic. 
In case you are having trouble following, let me sum it up for you: 
ONE person + housing structure + authenticity= HOME
Simple! Say, hypothetically, you adore the color salmon and you don’t know why but you just love those x-ray botanical prints, teddy bears and the smell of candy corn then by all means, fill your home with those things that you love and you will get it. 
I am grateful that I have a beautiful family who fills my home, but this was not always the case. Through infertility and an early hysterectomy as well as a bitter divorce which left me suddenly single- I found myself creating a true home, (true= TRULY me) for the first time. All of the time I’d wasted designing the most beautiful nursery I could imagine, pointless… All of the time I spent designing spaces for other people, wasted… And with $40 I bought this yellow daisy comforter, a daisy wall print, a butterfly cut out and several 12×12 sheets of paper. At days end my walls were covered with paper butterflies and I felt, for the very first time that I finally had a place where I belonged. 
It seems like we always have someone telling us it is peaceful here, or nurturing. Honestly, I think the main attraction would be the energy. Not to sound all hoky and weird, but no one feels at home in a model home showroom- no matter how expensive the decor is. You know? Because it feels cold and detached. A home truly is simply an extension of the people that are in it. 
Look around you, wherever you are. What is one thing that catches your eye that you know is an authentic element of YOU? 

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the image above was taken from   Beach Cottage Studio