beautiful, family, gratitude

Our Girl…

There are so many things that I have no clue how to do. 
So many things I am not, at all, good at. 
Dealing with heartbreakingly sad things is one of them… 
I’ve been told I go one of two ways. 
I either completely shut down, OR I become the robot dealer. 
Several weeks ago when we came to the hard realization that there was something seriously wrong with our sweet golden retriever Makaila- Chw and I had the talk. We hypothetically made all of the hard decisions so that when the time came- we wouldn’t selfishly go to whatever extent possible to prolong a dying life. It was sad, and teary- but still hypothetical. 
Yesterday morning Chw went for his bike ride and then came home and made blueberry pancakes for his girls. He went in to work late because he had to take Makaila to the vet, as the medicine prescribed was not working. I was staying behind to take Amanda to the airport as she was scheduled to fly to Vegas for her best friend’s wedding. 
It all went downhill following the pancakes… 
Majorly delayed flights. Work issues. School stresses. Cancer. 
My dog has cancer. 
The vet assured us that there are options though. 
A medication that could give us about 3 months. 
A $4000 surgery that could give us close to 10 months. 
Neither of those feel like options, honestly. 
To the world she is just a dog. 
To us, she is a part of our heart. She was the sweet baby puppy we adopted when we knew we’d never have a child of our own and that we needed to move on. 
To our youngest, she is the best friend who has been there since she came to be our daughter. 
The idea of home without her feels nothing like home at all. 
We are in an impossibly sad place- and as hard as it all feels, we’ve decided to celebrate the beautiful girl she is, and has been for us. We have a week or two- and over those days we are going to make sure her days are filled with things she love, that help her feel loved. We have been so blessed with such an amazing pet. She has protected us, loved us faithfully, cheered us up, nurtured our heart breaks and created a trillion and a half amazing memories… 
Send your positive energy, thoughts and prayers for us please… 
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5 thoughts on “Our Girl…”

  1. We lost our golden retriever to cancer 5 years ago. I still miss him. It was a lot of hard decisions. We went the spending $2000 route (surgery) and he died the day after the operation. We no longer take the lots of $ route when our animals are sick – hard lesson. Now we do meds and minimal interventions, and just try to make quality of life as good as possible. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I know how heartbreaking it is. I hope you can find a good solution for her and for your family!

  2. oh, that's the worst news. my pup has had a number of health problems, and whenever she acts strangely, i wonder if she's coming up on her last days, even though she is only 3. considering the reasons why you got her, this sounds gut-wrenching. i'm so sorry.

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