family – Page 39

A dog’s eye view…

Published on February 1, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments

One of my goals for this new year was to challenge myself with a sort of themed photo challenge a month. In theory this seemed like a grand idea, but of course grand ideas seldom factor in things like record amounts of snow, polar vortexes and temperatures far too cold to leave the house. In the month of January what was I left with for ideas but snow, snow, my walls and the expressions of a bored fourteen year old on yet another inclement weather day…

So, I thought I’d change my perspective a bit. See what our sweet dogs see. For a day I looked at life from their eyes, from their bed, from their level… Though I still don’t understand why they love leaving their nose prints on the windows or stealing wet wash cloths from the laundry, it was fun to have a day from their point of view…

Girls just wanna, they just wanna…

Published on January 20, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Since my husband has taken an eternity long business trip Down Under, Gen and I decided we’d get away for a bit. We took advantage of an amazing hotel promotion (perk of having a husband whose business keeps him on the road from time to time, I guess.), had a friend hang out with our dogs and away we went. I knew, from the very second that this plan was birthed and set in motion, that I was in for some trouble. You see, I’m not the world’s most confident winter driver and would just as soon stay home if anyone so much as speaks the word snow. With this being the upper mid-west, and January, I knew I was in trouble. Even so, we do what we must for the sake of fresh walls and sanity, so I packed a bag and off we went.

(I apologize now that the only photos I have are cruddy, bad-light, iPhone shots. It just so happened, everywhere we went had mood lighting.)

While our hotel was “super fancy”, (That’s a complete 14-year-old Genny quote, not me. She was enamored by the fanciness of it, to the point of spewing nauseating charm all over their lovely fabric covered walls.) they did not have free wi-fi nor did they serve a free breakfast. (to those of you out there with extra class, you will now see the types of places we are likely accustomed to staying.)

They were willing to charge us $20 for internet (no thanks. I was spending time with my kid, what do I need internet for anyway? Besides, we have a portable hotspot, which I brought, but it stayed packed.) and they offered room service breakfast though $9 for a muffin seemed a bit excessive. SO, Gen and I used our beloved Yelp ap and went in search of a high rated bakery which sold these:

Feeling ready to tackle just about anything, at this point, we explored the area a bit. We were feeling pretty good. We had a “super fancy” hotel room, (ok, this was more Gen then me, but whatever.) We had outsmarted the hotel and gotten some form of (adorable) breakfast to tide us over til checkout (for under $4!!! this was total me who was excited about this point, Gen could have cared less.) And I had made it to said hotel AND bakery, keeping us and my car in tact while snow flurried around us. (Also more so me, but I’m sure Genny’s gratitude is there, buried beneath teen angst.)

Eventually we wandered back to the hotel. I mean, it had likely been ten, or so, minutes since Gen had raved on and on about the “super fanciness” of it. Between their actual glass drink ware in the rooms, our mini Keurig, the embroidered hairdryer bag and the fresh, warm cookies they serve the guests- well, we needed to hear more about it all, so we went back. Eventually I talked her into sitting laying across her bed and watching a movie on tv while I sat in the living room and just sort of vegged for 90 min. On Commercials she would come out, (or shout out) about how laying in a fancy hotel bed watching tv was the best feeling ever.

It really wasn’t a fancy hotel… BUT, I was slowly falling in love with the sofa and chair. I wonder where they got them?

Anyway? Eventually we headed out to share this AMAZING brick oven BBQ chicken pizza…

And then we stayed up until early hours of the morning playing card games and talking…

I won.

But not by much, she’s a worthy opponent.

The next morning she slept until a reasonable teenage hour while I tossed, turned and then rose early to drink tea and read on my new favorite sofa. When we departed, Genny reluctantly said goodbye to her “super fancy” hotel suite, remarking how she hoped she never had to stay in those places where the cheep hair dryers hang on the walls again. (Sorry, Gen, you will.) She was also deeply saddened that they do not offer warm cookies to people checking out. I love her…

We had been able to chat with Chw the afternoon before, and he shared with us that he was heading to spend Saturday at the beach with his newfound friends from Japan, Thailand, Korea and of course Australia. What a little life of luxury he leads. Ironically, the man hates the beach while Gen and i LOVE it. So, when Saturday found us heading to a movie over near his very favorite restaurant, well, we had to go. It seemed the nicest thing to do… And then we checked in on Facebook. He laughed, it was all in good fun. He also got a little sunburnt and pelted in the face with windy sand. We got this…

I think it’s clear, despite his 75 degree weather, who got the better end of the deal. (please lie and tell me that it was us!)

After that, before trekking home, we went to see 12 Years a Slave. We don’t usually let Genny watch R rated movies, but on the very rare occasions that she has seen them, it has been with us and they were R for reasons that weren’t sexually explicit or graphic in unnecessary ways. I don’t regret taking her to see this film. It was emotional and moving. Difficult to watch, but such a beautiful story full of valuable life lessons. As we left the theater, still stunned from all we’d seen, I looked to her and said “wow, huh?” And her sweet 14 yo response?

“That movie was NOT entertaining. I hate that movie. That wasn’t fun at all.” Yes, she had seen the trailer. I don’t know where she expected it to turn into a fun movie, but we had a wonderful discussion about the film and Solomon’s story on the way home. If you haven’t seen it, I strongly recommend it… (Where kids are concerned though, obviously, read reviews and use your best judgement.)

Anyway, our Girl’s retreat was fun, and I think we’ll do it again. I think maybe we’ll do it with another mother/daughter someday… It was a lot of fun though, and we want to make it a semi-annual tradition. Considering we really were just winging it, it was pretty great…

The one where I salvage what’s left of January…

Published on January 13, 2014January 13, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Me–
– since my writer’s retreat plans were changed, I carved out an intense week where during my “business” hours and evenings my focus is solely on work stuff. (I’m both terrified and excited!)

– a facial. this winter is working overtime on my skin! I’m sure being sick hasn’t helped…

– begin a weekly afternoon simply carved out for correspondence and reading, EVERY week. I’m thrilled! BEST goal/resolution of the year!

Us–

– one new year’s resolution I was to have a monthly cocktail evening complete with cards/games, and when it works out, having friends over.

– Gen & I decided to take a bit of a girl’s weekend, mid month, complete with hotel sheets, sleeping in, no responsibilities, trips to the movies, swimming pools. I’m super excited!

– In addition, Gen and I are going to start reading together, monthly. We share several of the same books now, which is an odd and special place to get to with your child.

Heart–

– I’m starting a women’s group through our church. I’m pretty excited. I intended to start in the fall, and was excited to do the book they were focussing on, but I just couldn’t make that particular group work with my schedule. This new groups’ timing is a lot more conducive!

– listening to the calling to do/be more, with my life.

Create–

– one of my goals this year is to take on 12 photo challenges.

– Since January of 2012, I haven’t been the best at taking photos and I miss that passion.

Reading–

– with the theme of my year being NEW, one thing I’m planning on doing is reading more children’s literature. I never read a lot of it. I kind of, as a reader, jumped right into adult books.

– Secret Keeper by Kate Morton

– MWF Seeking BFF

– Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist

Home–
– a few reorganization projects.

– warm pots of soup.

– fresh-baked loaves of bread.

– one paper project (at least)

Health–
– yoga

– making more, and creative time for fitness/working out.

Love–
– a date night

– finding little ways to reach out to Chw when life and work keeps us apart.

“It is a tough road that leads to the heights of greatness.”

Seneca

just a reflection…

Published on December 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

As we wind down the last days of two-thousand and thirteen, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the place my feet are planted now versus where they were this time last year.

We were coming to the close of what was, hands down, the most terrifying, taxing, grueling, stress-filled 16 months of our lives. They had started with me being diagnosed with pneumonia and nearly dying followed by the absolutely hardest journeys we’ve gone through with each one of our kids. {Truthfully the words personal hell don’t seem to touch how difficult that time frame was.} By the time we had reached the weekend before Christmas, of last year, it felt like my husband and I were barely dragging ourselves to the finish line. We knew that life had to give us a break, a change, or we were done…

We approached the new year the same way we do every year… With personal lists of hopes and goals. Among them, he wanted a new job. Between my medical bills, due to our horrible insurance, and other debt we had incurred throughout the horrible battles of 2012, we had pretty much supported ourselves on credit and that credit had reached a limit. It hadn’t been ideal, and at Chw’s job there had been no way at all that we ever would be able to climb out of that, BUT we had simply tried to survive.

We moved to Michigan in March. We found out about the opportunity about a month before hand. In the time since we’ve been here, we’ve paid a lot of our debt and every time we can file a PAID IN FULL statement, it’s nothing but gratitude I feel- like a miracle. But it isn’t just that…

My husband was stressed beyond belief. He had hypertension, constant bouts with chest pains, stress headaches and was (I believe) going to kill himself on stress within 5 years. He had aged himself drastically in the few years he had been at his position. He was not the man I knew, at all. Now, the man I love is back. He’s running and enjoying life, loves his new job and has a renewed appreciation for things.

And there’s me… This adjustment hasn’t been very easy on me. I love fiercely. I LOVE my sister and my friends and I miss them like CRAZY! Leaving them and living on what feels like the other side of the universe has been really hard! But, health wise, my migraines have gone down 90% due to medication and my lungs have healed drastically. When I began seeing my doctor this summer I was deaf in my right ear and my lungs were functioning at 28% after the pneumonia. I can hear perfectly and my lungs are at 90%. Those two things just weren’t being addressed or treated back in Idaho due to my lack of good insurance.

Comparing that day then, to this date today, I’m humbled and in awe. Either of us could be dead, our bodies simply giving out. Emotionally we were pretty close to it. Financially we were on the verge of only God knows what, but it was terrifyingly bad and the darkest place ever…

But we aren’t.

We’re here, safe… healthy. Warm, fed, happy and together.

So, I know today might be really hard for a lot of people out there. I know it might feel really isolating, or terrifying, or unsolvable… But it’s just today. We have no idea how incredibly our circumstances can change. At the very least, I hope this encourages someone out there.

The haunting of Barbie…

Published on December 11, 2013December 10, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Picture it, it is Christmas time in the mid 80’s. Barbie loving, girlhood me is unwrapping gifts at my grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve with my entire extended family, because that’s what we did following our traditional tamales dinner.

I was, at the time, being raised an only child. I lived with my mom and, for argument’s sake, my “step-dad”. Every Saturday, at noon, I went to my grandmother’s house, where I stayed until every Sunday afternoon at 3. This is just the way it was. At my grandmother’s house I had my own toys which were to stay there, my own clothes, which were to stay there. Nothing from place A, was to go to place B, and vice-versa. It was all very joint custody and detached, looking back, but when I was a kid it’s what I knew- it’s just kind of how things were… The one exception being Christmas. On Christmas Eve (though usually there was a lot of complaining, by my mom, about the whole ordeal) we were together as a family at my Grandmothers. My aunt and uncles were there, my cousins were there. It was a really lovely, perfect time. {At least my childhood, rose-colored glasses remember it that way.}

I have significantly veered off course… Sorry about that.

Anyway, this one particular Christmas I opened this amazingly versatile little gem of a Barbie from my grandmother:

Let’s just say, my mom was not happy.

Apparently she had purchased the same exact Barbie for me, and it was waiting for me at our house, to be opened on Christmas morning because that’s how we still showed our stubbornness, by not fully integrating into the family Christmas held two blocks from our house… Certain that my opening this Day to Night Barbie would ruin everything about our Christmas morning (which she was still very angry about on that Christmas morning, mind you,) Peace was finally achieved when my grandmother apologized for purchasing the doll for me, and took it away.

{side note: I’m sure most people in the room, except me because I was a kid, were thinking “what difference does it make if it would have to stay here anyway, and the other doll would have to stay at your house?” but no one dared utter those words…}

I forgot all about that Barbie. There were other gifts, and maybe I even thought the one I got the next morning was that same one. I don’t know, I was a kid… At any rate, fast forward this story about 20 years…

Our first Christmas with Genny. She was four. We’d had her for just a couple of months and family members were still adjusting to the idea of us having a little girl at all. My grandmother, being of the Great Depression era, wasn’t one to get rid of things. (you absolutely see where this story is going…) So, when a package arrived from New Mexico, bearing a neatly wrapped gift for Gen, we nestled it under the Christmas tree…

For two weeks it sat there, in all of its nativity adorned mystery. On Christmas eve we carried on the tamales dinner tradition and Genny rushed to open the gift from Great Gramma first…

One thing about my sweet girl, she’s never been a paper ripper. She’ opens gifts meticulously, as if there very act of opening them is one she’s grateful for. So, as she’s meticulously opening it I realize, wait a minute… that paper is really, really, really old. Like, from my childhood old. Then, just as I see the pink corner of the box, my hand flies to my mouth.

“It’s a Barbie.” I whispered to Chw. I’m not sure whether to laugh, or to cry. This is this sweet child’s very first Christmas gift in our family and I know in that instant that this Barbie is about to either scare the daylights out of this poor child and ruin our first Christmas, or be a box of foul-smelling dust.

Time has never passed so slowly…

Everything about the gift, from the old school box, to the smell, to the look was not impressive to my four-year old. She was easily let down, but gracious. We tried to put a positive spin on it, but there was no impressing her the way her other gifts did. (thankfully redeeming Christmas to the point that she doesn’t even remember what we lovingly refer to as Zombie Barbie as half of her clothes had rotted away and her briefcase had turned a toxic shade of orange.)

Jimmy Fallon had a hashtag going on twitter about the #worstgiftever, which got us to talking about how, amidst all of our bad gift stories- poor Genny’s first Christmas gift of the Zombie office Barbie really was the worst gift a four-year old girl could ever receive…

{In all fairness, I did ask my grandma about it. She had wrapped it back up the next morning to save for my daughter, someday… Which was beautifully sweet, I thought. Incredibly flawed and not at all the best idea, but very, very sweet…}