family – Page 35

here’s the scoop, and why it’s taking so incredibly LONG…

Published on August 22, 2014August 22, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Every person has a unique story. For a long time now, due to our passion for helping marriages as well as families who have struggled through infertility, Chw and I have been asked/encouraged to do a Podcast. When the topic came up pretty seriously, this past spring, the two of us were heavily entrenched in drama with our youngest (who is 15) and laughed off the guidance with “yeah, we are the LAST people anyone wants to hear about this stuff from.” Our supporters came back a few days later with, “so, we talked to so-and-so, and this-other-person and some-people-over-here and it was unanimous that your candidness and heart coupled with how raw you are about your journey is exactly why you are who people WANT to hear from.”

We thought about it, some. We prayed about it. Meanwhile, oddly, another friend began a podcast (completely unrelated) and the more we listened the less overwhelming of an idea it seemed to be.Still, the teenage rage filled wars waged on at home and so we decided we’d set a launch date of July 15. This gave us a few weeks to get our heads on straight and our daughter would be visiting friends. It seemed great.

But then, Chw got sick the week Gen left. And then just as he began to get well, I lost my voice and this turned into pneumonia. Before I could speak without sounding like a crazy 76-year-old smoker, it was a week into August. We set a new launch date and wouldn’t you know it, Chw’s company sent him out-of-town on business, two weeks in a row. All hell sort of re-erupted with Gen forcing us to put everything on hold and then this wild and crazy scheme to start taking steps towards A.) moving and B.) bringing my mother (from New Mexico) to live with us, just sort of snow balled…

It’s been nuts, you guys. Seriously not a second’s peace since mid June. Before that, I’d guess last fall, maybe?

We are so excited though because it’s going to be funny, and real, relevant, honest and hopefully something useful to someone somewhere… In the meantime… I need your help!

1.)Do you have any questions you’d like to ask about marriage, reconciling from divorce, our story, infertility, adoption, Reactive Attachment Disorder, etc? We’ve already received some great ones on our Facebook Page. If you have questions please message us there, or email me at rainydayinmay(at)gmail(dot)com, subject Podcast.

2.) Like our FB page, if you haven’t already, and spread the word!

3.) Do you know someone who might make a great guest on our show? (we can skype them in, no need to travel!)

Best laid plans, right? We’ll get there… Wish us luck! (and health, and peace!)

Cruel intentions…

Published on July 16, 2014July 15, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Daily it seems I grow more and more aware of how honorable my intentions are, and how significantly far I fall from that mark. I think on this, as I sit in a quiet house after being in noise and busy for nine long days. Some ten days before this moment I saw myself further, progressed beyond the same place I’ve stood, unfinished. There are always grand excuses. Traffic, noise, construction, illness… But what did I manage to do? Distraction.

Well, that’s not entirely true either. A little.

Chw had a business trip in the northwest suburbs of Chicago and since Gen is gone for the summer, I decided to tag along and accomplish some writing. I felt I could (professionally speaking) use the inspiration of a change of scenery, and I love the hotel environment. As an added bonus, despite both of our infinities for Chicago itself, we had the opportunity to go into the city on Friday night. On one side of the journey I imagined it all so different than it was, and it wasn’t bad. That’s not what I mean. I was simply, well… Life.

During the week we put some of the best food we have ever eaten, in our mouths. We had great conversation, we explored. It started out really great. At the hotel, during the daytime though, my time was less than productive as there was major construction going on. It did not matter what I tried, or where I went, I just could not seem to accomplish anything, so by Wednesday mid-morning I simply gave up and buried my nose in my kindle. Then, Wednesday evening Chw got sick, and since he seldom gets ill, things plummeted quickly. Our too-late-to-change-plans adventure into Chicago itself was a gigantic waste of stress, energy and money as everything we wanted to do while there (Taste of Chicago and Millenium Park) were made much less appealing by A.) how my poor husband felt, and B.) the torrential downpour we were in. It was hard not to be a little disappointed, but if we haven’t learned life is anything but what we expect, by now- then I need to start paying better attention.

Once again home, and back in my office, I’m reflecting at my planner, my to do lists and just realizing that there has to be another way. Something isn’t quite “connecting” between the inspiration to do something and then opportunity to actually do it. But what? What am I missing? Getting away didn’t help… And sure, I could say “yeah, but it wasn’t as great as I hoped it would be!” But it’s not like we can all afford to redo every vacation or trip that doesn’t go as we planned. It is what it is, it was not a bad trip. I love my husband and we had fun, before he became miserable. I got to spend quality time with my daughter and her soon-to-be step-sons. I got to see my dad and sister. I fell in love with the wonder that is bacon wrapped dates. I went to the most incredible movie theater ever. My husband bought me the best umbrella I’ve ever owned! (If you didn’t know, I love umbrellas) and I got to sleep in a luxurious room with the best view of the Sears tower. I’m “stuck” because something is stuck… And I’m starting to think it’s just because I allow it to be. Maybe this disconnect is less of a seasonal thing (like it may have started out) and is now more of a pattern.

yuck…

That Gold Couch…

Published on July 8, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

On our way to Chicago, Sunday, Chw and I tuned in to a Comedy station on Sirius for a while. At first it was really funny, then comedians changed and it was just ok before transitioning to flat-out awful and we decided enough was enough. Somewhere in there though, we heard a bit about cushioned toilet seats. Traffic was frustrating and I honestly don’t really remember any specifics (sorry) except to say that the comedian pointed out that the cushioned toilet seat is an unnecessary luxury because you shouldn’t have to sit there long enough to need padding… While not in and of itself deeply profound, it has really stuck with me. Growing up, a child in the 80’s, like many others I was generation big hair, overstuffed (marshmallow looking) furniture and Great Depression surviving grandparents. My grandmother washed bread bags, wasted NOTHING, even to the point of eating rotten food a time or two. If you ever showered in her bathroom, you may have used a threadbare towel and felt like a nice set of new fluffy towels would make a lovely Christmas gift. Of course, when she opened them, she would store them in a dresser in the back bedroom for when she needed them because she still had perfectly good towels. Well over a decade later, said towels would be pulled from said dresser, still tagged and folded and ruined from not being used. In the south they’d say Bless her heart… And it’s true. Most of us know exactly what I’m talking about. Cabinets full of washed butter and cool whip containers, enough to fill 180 fridges with leftovers. (and we’d save EVERY leftover. One green bean? Get that Parkay container out…) Bless her heart…

The thing about my grandma’s house was that, when you walked in, it was almost like walking back in time. Everything was Gold. Gold carpet, gold appliances, gold furniture. (as appliances began to die, this began to change.) In the late 80’s, and throughout the 90’s, we were thrilled to see her update with something more modern (Like the new TV she was forced to sit on top of her combination console/stereo/record player tv that didn’t work). Now, in 2014 what I wouldn’t give for half of the stuff she had in that house.

When my grandmother passed away, my aunt asked us to walk through her house and say what we’d like to have. At the time, emotionally overwhelmed, I quickly pointed out a green mixing bowl and struggled initially with anything else. (I lived thousands of miles away and had just flown in, so even if I’d asked for her amazingly vintage furnishings, it wouldn’t have happened…) As I walked through her strangely lifeless house, visions replayed from my youth as eyes fell on things, I headed straight for two dancing girl figurines that my grandmother kept on a table in her bathroom. As a young girl I had been fascinated with them and would often sit on her toilet for long periods of time, playing out story lines where one girl was me and the other was my mother. I knew as soon as I saw them again, that I’d take them as well. Even though I detest knick knacks, these were special.

This was 2006. At the time, jokes were made about who wanted that gold couch. (Which Grandma had always called The Divan.) Grandma’s house had always been where people were and so there was always a plethora of seating options. The gold couch was usually the last chosen as it was the least comfortable. Remember, we were from the era of marshmallow stuffed furniture and this sofa was straight out of the 60’s.

I’m sure I have photos with the couch somewhere, but not on my Macbook. I did find this photo online (from The White Elephant Resale shop in Chicago, which is sadly now closed, though images are still out there), which shows VERY similar fabric, though the style was a bit different. (this one looks a lot cushier.)

Feel free to look at that magnificent piece of furniture there, feel pity for the treasure that slipped from my metaphorical grasp, and then ask yourself how we went from cushioned toilet seats to amazing vintage sofas… Well, because my grandma, the woman who washed old bread bags to reuse and ate moldy cheese rather than waste it- my grandmother who once cooked a tumble weed because she was that resourceful, the woman who had a life of little luxury (minus a few great vacations and a really nice car anyway) had a cushioned toiled seat. I had never thought of this as a luxury (or thought much of it at all) until that comedy sketch, but it really is one.

Which led me to wonder if that’s really why I spent so much time sitting on that toilet, playing with those figurines? Because, lets face it, at the end of the day that seat was likely a whole lot softer to sit on than that couch.

And also I would like to point out, I’d probably give my left kidney for that couch…

the plan, the reality and the provision…

Published on July 7, 2014 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

The past two weeks have been absolutely crazy. I suspected they might be a little busy as Gen returned from Jamaica and got ready to spend a hefty chunk of the summer with family & friends out west. As the mom of a teenager I get to be chauffeur and along with that we were seeing to all of the eye doctor, dental and physical appointments we usually take care of between school years. When planning the trips, it made absolute sense to have two solid weeks between the two, so we could spend quality time and lessen the blow of missing our girl (who is growing up so fast). While we did get some quality time, it was very bitter-sweet, and sad and chaotic and rushed… Minus Chw finishing a movie that Gen and I had already watched without him, (and wanted to see with him) we managed to accomplish everything we set out to do.

Though my blog was eerily quiet…

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Before she left, however, we spent the Fourth of July at Greenfield Village (A part of the Henry Ford Museum.) If you’ve never been, it’s a cool place. If you ever want to go for the fourth of July, I highly recommend it, but maybe do it differently than we did… We learned a lot about how NOT to go (which is how we went), but would do it again because the fireworks show is hands down the BEST ever…

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One of the two weeks that Gen was home, Chw was in Utah on business. This week he is once again out-of-town on business, (Chicago area) and I decided to tag along. My thoughts had been long quiet days of writing, reading, catching up on letters and just enjoying the down time. In the evenings we could try local restaurants, maybe see a movie, spend time at Millennium Park and take in a museum. Not at all a bad plan, but the drive into the area took twice as long as it should have, (think 8 hours instead of 4) and Chw had to work on a project before this morning so that was a bummer. My lovely morning was shaken, quite literally, by jackhammers and other manners of construction right outside my window. Even so, they upgraded us to a lovely suite with a full service kitchen, which will make my lunch times a breeze. (plus, there is a Trader Joe’s and a Super Target. I mean, seriously…) So I can’t really complain. Chw even left me his noise canceling Beats so the construction isn’t so bad, and I’ve decided to just pretend the shaking, vibrating and earth moving is a bonus massage. That works right?

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In April, when we were back home visiting, Gen was helping our dear friend D (her Godmother) with her (much younger) kids and D piped up and said “You know Gen, you should come back for the summer and help me.” D was serious because she works mostly from home and this would help her a ton. Gen responded with a resounded “Fine by me!” Because she loves those kids, she loves that family, she loves Idaho and it seemed fun. Of course, the weeks leading up to it (and the solo, cross-country flight) she was less thrilled and wanted to stay home. (Can’t fault the girl for trying.)

The week before Gen’s trip, D was injured and had surgery. She is now laid up in a cast for the next three months and definitely needing a TON of help. Of course none of us had any idea, prior to the trip, this would happen, but it’s still pretty cool that Gen is there to help her out. {Bonus cool is that one of Gen’s good friends from when they were younger is visiting from California and our Very dear family friend Aubree is ALSO visiting Idaho. She’s one lucky girl!}

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If I’m realizing anything, it’s that we make plans, and often the reality looks/feels nothing like the plan… BUT, most of the time it turns out awesome, OR it turns out we to be the best thing anyway, even though we didn’t know it when we planned it.

And, on that note, it’s Monday. This weeks Hi-Five:

SONG- THIS!!! Gen and I heard it on the way to one of our many appointments. We swooned. Adorable! (Not the best video, sorry! the song is worth it though!)

SHARE- Anne with an E. Have you watched these? I LOVE Anne of Green Gables and while these videos are cute, they aren’t really my favorite. (I’ve been spoiled by the quality of Pemberly Digital, I think) What i DO LOVE about this series however, is their twitter feed. (among the characters.) Absolutely adorable…

SOMETHING I’M LOVING- This Trader Joe’s REFRESH Body Wash that I picked up here. I usually use Rain Bath and the TJ’s peppermint but forgot both and so I tried this. The smell is AMAZING!

SOMETHING I’M INTO- I’m embarrassed to admit this… Clash of Clans. I found out my friend K was addicted to it when we were home in April and I held out until a couple of weeks ago. Then… I don’t know what happened. Now my husband is getting intrigued by it.

SOMETHING NEW {TO ME}- Coconut water. I’ve held out trying it due to the steep price tag, but the hype is so big I finally gave in. I’m not sure how much I love it, but I want to. Any Coconut water tips/secrets?