Category: Art

Reasons why it’s been quiet around here, as of late…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

IMG_9833– I’ve possibly been paralyzed with worry over what will happen to Jesse, and how Breaking Bad will end.

– We had dear friends from Idaho here, visiting, for a week. It was wonderful, but upon their return flight back, I caught a bug of homesickness.

– rainy days followed by heat advisories immediately then followed by 50 degree cold fronts are not friends of my fibromyalgia.

– I did not have Showtime was really busy when Homeland season 2 was on and so we’ve spent the last two weeks catching up, on Demand, to ready ourselves for Season 3. Suffice it to say, the amount of worry I’m feeling plagued with over the fictional characters of Brody & Carrie {and of course Jesse Pinkman and Walter White’s family from BB} are about to push me over the edge. Can we say “too emotionally involved?” Oy…

– I sent my youngest off to a real live life high school. No more homeschool for us. It’s been, well, an adventure, thus far. An adventure that inspires me to question what the cost is to retain both a hairdresser (grey coverage) and a massage therapist… Can they live with me?

– I’ve seen a few really great movies, a surprisingly great movie, a pretty good movie and so movie wise I can’t really complain too much… {Great= The Way Way Back; The Spectacular Now; Surprisingly Great: Austenland; And Pretty Good= The Family.}

– I lost my Kate Spade wallet, which had everything in it. I got it all back, and my faith in humanity was restored both BEFORE the wallet incident AND after… but it was still scary.

– We watched a car catch on fire outside a restaurant- and partially explode. (Same day as the great wallet loss/find)

– My mom found out that she has a degenerative disorder in her back and she is permanently wheel chair bound, leading our family to make some hard decisions in the near future… A lot to think about, for sure.

– My freshman daughter went to not one freshman event, but two. One, where a boy bought her a soda and spent the evening doting on her. She’s pretty much grounded until she’s 76, as she knows better. Such behavior is unacceptable. Soda accepting from boys? Inexcusable!

– I missed my very first PTA meeting, at the very real life high school, because I’m apparently really old and fell asleep on the couch at 6:40 in the evening.

– My favorite person ever won So You Think You Can Dance, which was unexpectedly AWESOME… My second favorite person EVER, did not. This pretty much sucked.

– I was on a crazy, unnecessary medication which was making me crazy sick, every day. I finally got off it last week and feel like I got my life back. Yay!

– I’m on a crazy stupid level in Candy Crush, which has caused me to question my reason for playing the dumb game and why I’ve devoted my time to over 300 levels in the first place since I will NEVER beat this level.

– I have a dozen or so books that I’m dying to read, right now.

– Right now I’m not reading much of anything. Boo.

– I wore a sweater out on a date with my husband the other night. It was pretty much awesome and made me happy.

– I have two online classes that I’m taking right now. I feel pretending they don’t exist is the worst course of action. *sigh*

– Mostly I’m trying to get my bearings and work out a routine. I haven’t been home alone since early 2007, and it’s flat out weird. Then, I worked about 32 hours a week from my home office for two different (local) companies. One was an ad agency and the other was a bigger company with their “hands” in lots of different types of cookie jars. Since 2007 I’ve consistently done something. Typically I did copywriting, or freelance for PR companies or other divisions of the entertainment industry. In 2008 I started a small Lifestyle Portrait business that did pretty well. Towards the end of 2011 though, we had a “family meeting” and I had to admit that I’d taken on too much. I was still freelancing for several entertainment outlets, photography was going strong, I was homeschooling and co-teaching through a local co-op and I was about 4 months into working on a novel. Nothing was really getting the attention it deserved, and I wasn’t really liking any of it. We decided to close the photography business after a wedding I’d booked in January. I felt so much peace about it. It had been a fun journey, but it hadn’t turned out at all like I’d imagined… I dropped most of my freelance accounts. We made the decision to no longer coop homeschool but to distance educate until we could find a suitable high school- and that the main focus (which is where my heart was really at) was the novel. AND HERE I AM… We took, together, all of the steps to get to this place. Not contributing (pretty much at all now) financially, is hard. It stresses me out. It makes me feel guilty…

– I’m feeling really guilty, and pathetic, and ridiculous when I do stupid things like leave my Kate Spade wallet on a bench. (it was worth revisiting twice.) I worked freaking hard for that wallet. A decade ago, i naively believed that when I’d made something of myself professionally, the purchasing of a “Kate Spade” bag (I LOVE her style!) Would symbolize success to me. Pretty much, it didn’t… Funny how, at the end of the day, it’s still just an overpriced handbag. (or wallet) but I certainly don’t want to lose it…

– mostly, I’m wandering around aimlessly. I wash some laundry, back some bread, write a note to stick in the mail, walk the dogs, check my email… Think to myself, this is a great time to finally start playing the cello! because, you know, I’ve always wanted to do that. But I have books unread, and a novel that’s written but in desperate need of being cleaned up… So I ignore it. I don’t know why. All summer long, I knew school would come so my time line was “the second full week of school!”

This is the second full week of school… It is here, today. Now. This minute…

And I just don’t even know where to begin. I feel kind of like that wallet is sitting there all alone on that bench, all over again. Everything important and vulnerable at risk, in the hands of someone else, because I was careless and left it there…

under my umbrella…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

I really loved the internet this week! I think I’m going to try and make a habit, when I find great things, of saving them up to share on fridays, in a kind of collection post of links and all around wonderfulness…

without further ado…

This recipe for Oven Roasted Salmon is AH-MAZING. I’m not kidding. We sat out on our deck moaning about the complete deliciousness of this fish, until our plates were pretty much licked clean, and then we got more salmon and started all over again.

This video is adorable. I sent it to a girlfriend Monday morning because her work week definitely needed a pick me up and she decided she needed both the man and the dog to come help her do yoga at work. *smile*

This guy is the most amazing thing ever. Ever. My world felt better just having gazed upon his face.

This article… While it may initially cause a bit of a stir among more conservative readers, it created an interesting dialogue between my husband and I about our responsibility as parents for unconditional love and when this dad talks about being his daughter’s safe space… I don’t know, it REALLY struck a chord with me. I found his whole article so metaphorical for grace, free will and so often (often out of complete fear) our instinct as parents is the do the opposite of what he’s talking about. There will always be differing opinions, but having a healthy dialogue is a good thing. And sure, as a mom I would’ve wanted nothing more than for my kids to fall in love and commit to one person and only ever be intimate with them. I do believe that leads to less hurt and heartache… It hasn’t worked out quite like that,  and at the end of the day I’d rather be the safety place of unconditional love and refuge than that one who will make them feel worse.

This Kid Snippet. Bwa ha ha… “When I come home from work, my wife is angry, what do I do?” “Tell her why!” “ok!”

This isn’t technically “internet” related, but this week’s episode of SYTYCD was by far the most amazing one I have ever seen. I was blown away after nearly every performance. I was moved to tears during multiples numbers. This one though, this had me balling like a baby. I adore Travis and I think his family’s story with Danny is amazing. Beyond that though, I was a huge Robert fan and when he had his accident last year I was devastated. I had no idea he’d be back as an all-star and when I saw his face I literally burst into tears. (this girl obviously gets way too into her tv, eh?) Anyway, you’re welcome…

Which leads us perfectly into this. My absolute favorite dance on the show EVER. (EVER.) Even if you do not like dance, watch it. It’s extraordinary…

I’ve never kept quiet about how much I hate Walmart. Not only do they have completely unethical business practices BUT they treat the majority of their employees like dirty toilet matter. This, this is fact. This is true. This I love. I have known many people on the Walmart side of things and the Winco side of things and this is 100% truth. And Winco grows all the time.

It’s an eclectic mix, to be sure… Some cute, some funny, some thoughtful, some beautiful… Have anything from this week you’d like to share?

I guess, if there is nothing else, I’ll just say “If your wife wants you to buy a trampoline, BUY HER A TRAMPOLINE!” ;)

All crammed in to one tiny little post…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay29 Comments

Hello!

I never intended to leave for vacation without having blogged for an entire week. In fact, I am a little shocked that happened at all.

It was also a last minute decision to not even take my macbook on vacation. That was very unlike me, and a good decision for sure!

So, what have you guys been up to in the past couple of weeks?

As for me, I did some work. My fourteen year old graduated the 8th grade and became the proud owner of an iPhone. We saw the best movie we’ve seen all year (Now You See Me). The three of us traveled to Wisconsin to see our older daughter Amanda and celebrate her 23rd birthday. We rushed home yesterday because my fourteen year old, iPhone toting, 8th grade graduate started a summer volunteer job and Chw had to do a whirlwind pack and rest trip as he headed out on a business trip today.

He was the only one of us, who had been to Wisconsin before. It was mine and Gen’s first time. Amanda moved there last fall to be closer to her BFF (of 10 years) while she went to school and was in the Reserves. It was a huge move and getting to see her town, apartment and glimpse her life was pretty awesome. (We are also glad we live here and NOT Idaho- as we wouldn’t get to see her very often otherwise.)

Wisconsin was gorgeous, you guys. Not what I expected. Very beautiful, very peaceful and serene. By day four we were really missing city though, which makes it seem like we live in a metropolis. I guess it might seem like it in comparison to the serene Wisconsin quiet.

Added bonus- every where we went, people were the NICEST people. It caught us off guard, which probably proved there was a little city in us.

Now we are home, and we have a few weeks before our Lucas is home for a tiny bit. I feel like we parents blink, and life just speeds by. In the middle of that there are carnivals and birthdays and father’s day and summer movies… My head spinned a little bit when I opened my planner, after we got home last night.

SPEAKING OF SUMMER MOVIES… My husband Chw, is an avid lover of comic book movies. Some of them, I’m all “woo hoo” about, and some of them I’m like “meh” about. His absolute favorite superhero is Superman. Because CK/SM is his favorite, I’m more on the “WOO HOO” side, with the release of Man of Steel next week! (side note: it’s funny that the last few father’s days we have done Superman themed father’s days for him and then suddenly Superman comes out right before Father’s Day this year.)

mos_glyph_hires

Anyway, in all of the Super-excitement here at Chez Wagner, I am going to do a Man of Steel giveaway!

The prize package will include quite a few Superman items to get you ready for the movie, (think t-shirt, etc.) OR if your man is also a Superman lover- to help you shower him with love and memorabilia on Father’s Day.

To Enter:

Leave a comment talking about your the summer movie you are excited about OR which Superman is your favorite.

Tweet the giveaway, and link back your tweet in a separate comment.

Facebook share the giveaway, and link back in a separate comment.

Giveaway runs through midnight June 12th. (US entrys only)

A shift from the worry to the “I’m doing something about this”…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

I am going to open up and let you guys in on a little secret… Parenting is HARD.

Now I know you other parents are shocked I’ve uttered such things. You are likely shaking your head and thinking to yourself, “What’s her problem? Parenting is a cake walk.” OR, maybe that’s not happening, but I’m pretty sure it just seems like that to me, when I observe other parents.

It’s funny too, because you have these awesomely little energetic kids who try your patience and wear you out, and you think to yourself this will be so much easier when they can get their own lunches and are more independent. But it isn’t. It never actually gets any easier. In fact, it kind of gets a whole lot harder, as if the challenge grew with your kids.

There are days when you just know you are a great parent. Then there are other days when you are pretty sure that your kids would be much better off with a family of rabid raccoons over you. Imagine me, plus the latter scenario… Yep, welcome to my week. Mostly I just love my kids so consumingly and since they are older- its really hard to just watch things unfold. I’m just kind of sitting back, as their independent worlds spiral about, wondering what good I could have possible done, and maybe if I’d just ______________ a little more, things would be easier for them.

With my youngest at home, and her being 14 and all drama, things get pretty intense. She has an entitlement we can’t seem to shake, and these episodes that send the dogs running for the first floor in a heartbeat- when they are usually planted wherever our feet are. I am sure I had my moments, at 14. While I know they were nothing like this- (because I was not raised in an environment where things like this could exist) I do feel the bittersweet realization that she feels safe enough to completely freak out on me. I’m grateful for that. Even when she gets angry because she may lose her ipad privileges and she’ll scream about how abusive I am being. Having come from a childhood of darkness, I know that she obviously feels safe enough to shout out something so ridiculous- and this is a very good thing.

Even so- I wonder. I worry. We definitely struggle, as I imagine all mom’s with 14 year old girls do.

On some levels, it’s easier. She can see more movies I am also interested in (something we love) and read more mature books. (while also feeling it’s unfair that she can’t watch ALL PG-13 movies or read ALL YA books. You win some, you lose some.) But just when there is more to connect with, it seems like connections could happen less.

When my husband took a job with travel, I stressed long and hard about this. Already she was homeschooled (by me), already we were together 24/7 (nearly). Could I really endure it alone? Would we kill each other? Would it ruin the tumultuously confusing relationship between us where she’s screaming at me one minute, about how we have a horrible relationship and I’m a terrible mother- and then an hour later still reaching for my hand in the super market and giggling over inside jokes?

I worried, and I stressed. And then he began traveling and I realized I could be the one who manipulated these times.

So I am.

In the past couple of months we’ve watched Beaches, for her first time. I feel this is the ultimate best friends movie, but I also wanted to watch it for the first time with her. We’ve had ice cream for dinner. We’ve stayed up late talking and eating pints of Ben & Jerry’s frozen yogurt. We’ve laid on her bed and just talked about whatever nonsensical things came to be. I’ve introduced her to Elvis movies and she has fallen in love with Elvis. (adding this to her deep love of Patrick Swayze.) We’ve book browsed and had a million really great conversations. We market shopped for things Chw would never want to eat, and then went out to dinner anyway. We’ve made hot chocolate at 11 at night, and stayed up til 1 a.m. every night this week, watching Gilmore Girls.

gilmore_girls[2]

It’s been really good. Way more good then bad, and suddenly, these travel times that I worried about are now something really special- and I’m grateful.

Now, to come up with a plan for coping well through all of the other tough stuff…

Endless love…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments

I thought you’d like to know, perhaps, that I’m melting as I type.

It’s true.

Literally melting…

Why, in such a state, would she take time out to blog is likely what you are asking yourself.

Because I love you, that’s why.

And because I’m bored. Apparently in sweltering heat, when feet continue to swell to Flintstone status- there isn’t a lot one can do. I’ve cleaned up my dvr. I’ve read. I’ve watched a few things on On Demand. I’m bored. We’ve had conversations. I’ve watched VH1’s Top 100 songs of the 90’s. If it’s done in my home, with minimal movement, while sitting- it’s been done.

In case you’re wondering, our air conditioner is broken. Last week, when we initially suspected it was going out, I would whine about the 75 degrees that our living room was reaching. Still, I’d take 75. It’s 86 outside, 90 in our living area and 107 in our bedrooms. With humidity.

That last beat is key. It’s humid, ya’ll…

And for a girl (with family) who is acclimated to dry, desert heat- well, I’m melting.

Told you!

I had exciting things to talk about too… But with my brain turning to a pile of goo, time is slipping.

I’ll bullet point it just for you.

– went to see Star Trek on Friday because my husband is a major treky an he deserved a little fun. I, on the other hand, tolerate Star Trek at best. (though I’ll admit, I enjoyed the first installment in this new J.J. Abrams minded series) It was ok. I couldn’t sit through it again. I did learn something… All this time, and all the movies and series that I’ve sat through with Chw- I NEVER understand why it was called Star Trek. I get it now. I’m so proud.

– no joke, this lady asked me if the seat next to me was saved. It wasn’t, so I told her as much. She proceeded to announce that she was saving 4 seats. As her people began to show up, they each made it quite clear that not only do they have NO movie etiquette, but they talked- in a normal voice. It was ridiculous. And the one lady would laugh this guffaw of a laugh. Eventually some guy, a few rows back, would mock her laugh. Her husband got embarrassed and left after shouting “he is making fun of you!” it was all a bit awful.

– on date night, Chw took me to see Gatsby. After waiting an entire week, I was enraptured in the incredibleness that is Gatsby. So beautiful. It didn’t make me hate it, because it’s my favorite book, though I was warned repetitively that it would. It was simply stunning and I’m dying to see it again and again, and again.

– At date night, C ordered a sandwich for dinner. I had said, prior to the waitress appearing, that I was ordering a brownie and ice water. When I did, he was quite surprised. Glad I can still surprise him. I totally didn’t regret it, and I’d eaten so healthy the rest of the weekend.

– At the farmer’s market today we found thick cut, local bacon. While this likely sounds pretty silly- we’re thrilled. Paper thin bacon, called “thick cut” is not even close to our bacon scene and it’s been quite a downer.

– When we lived here before, we had a pool. I miss my pool.

– My dog likes to bark a lot you guys… She’s driving me crazy.

That’s all I’ve got. Next point (though I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.) would be the gloop of goo…

Until it cools down 30 degrees…

Sincerely yours, (affectionately)

M

 

P.s. in church today, it was announced that the top romance movie of all time is Casablanca (I disagree.) and the top love song is Endless Love. (maybe.) Thoughts?