Mae @ Rainydayinmay

A dog’s eye view…

Published on February 1, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments

One of my goals for this new year was to challenge myself with a sort of themed photo challenge a month. In theory this seemed like a grand idea, but of course grand ideas seldom factor in things like record amounts of snow, polar vortexes and temperatures far too cold to leave the house. In the month of January what was I left with for ideas but snow, snow, my walls and the expressions of a bored fourteen year old on yet another inclement weather day…

So, I thought I’d change my perspective a bit. See what our sweet dogs see. For a day I looked at life from their eyes, from their bed, from their level… Though I still don’t understand why they love leaving their nose prints on the windows or stealing wet wash cloths from the laundry, it was fun to have a day from their point of view…

Desperately seeking person…

Published on January 28, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay15 Comments

Many, many lifetimes ago I blogged about the break of my heart from friendship gone bad. I’m a different person now, and my life is in a completely different place. I bring this up, only because I had this fear that someone would say wait a minute, what about… So I wanted to clarify that yes, that did cause personal issues for me for quite a long, long, long time. But not anymore.

In the past ten months that we have been living in Michigan, my lack of friendship has been near devastating. While this is partly because I don’t know many people, this is also partly because I had to really work through the mentioned above ordeal to form the amazing friendships I had, and then I moved away from them. And while things like text messages and emails and care packages are great, I miss having people. (or at least a person.)

I really, really want a person.

I want someone to share books with, meet for coffee/tea with, someone to go to movies with. I want to know that if I’ve had a crap day and need to escape for an hour, I can have that someone to escape to, even if it’s just to her house because she’s got a family too and gets it. It isn’t just about what I benefit though, these are just the things I’d love in my person. I want to be there for her. What does she need? A babysitter? A shopping pal? A shoulder to cry on? A prayer partner?

We rented a home in Idaho that we never really liked. It was meant to be a “for now” but the complication of moving just never seemed worth it so we stayed. While we resided in the walls of the house we didn’t love, we lived a life full of memories that we did. Millions of memories with our kids, with friends… Holidays and moments. That awful house because home for more than just our little unit. This house is nicer and we love it, but it just hasn’t felt like home for me yet and I think that’s why. It has the nicer walls and the (much) nicer neighborhood, but the life inside seems smaller. I wish it didn’t feel like that. It isn’t that my husband and youngest aren’t enough, it’s that I grew accustomed to the people-full life and I deeply miss it.

I’ve heard all of the answers… volunteer. join a book club. find a church.

I can’t even seem to fit in the work hours I need to right now, so a volunteer job probably isn’t the best option practically speaking.

I am in a book club.

We have found a church. And yes we are involved, and have met people.

I read a memoir last week that had a whole chapter devoted to friendship, best friends and how vital they are in your lives. It went on to talk about the role of a best friend and how if you can find yourself going more than a day or two without seeing or connecting with yours, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship because, as women we wither without the intimacy of close friendship. I literally wept.

Now I am reading a beautiful book, but the author surprised me by sneaking in a chapter on friendship. I wasn’t expecting it. She talked about how she and her friend had lived long distance and after they were married her friend moved across the country, nearer to her, so they could explore the idea of what it was like to be best friends. Sobs.

This is a big area… Surely there is someone out there, right for me?

Please hear my heart in this, I am absolutely not whining, I’m just tired. Soul tired. Ten months of a work demanding husband, ten months of a special needs teen ager, ten months of a lot of pouring out and I’ll be honest- absolutely loneliness… Ten months ago when it occurred to me that I’d be leaving my friends and our very full life, I figured I would be really lonely here, at first. If someone would have asked me what it would be like ten to twelve months after our move, I would have told you confidently that we would have friends and it would be fabulous. It kind of is a little fabulous for everyone but me, and I’m pretty ok with that really. If it had to be unfabulous for anyone, I’d rather it be me.

Honestly, I have no idea how to go from this place to finding a person. I’ve joked about Craigslist. I’ve prayed. I’ve cried. Any tips? Thoughts? advice? Blind dates? HA! Joking about the last one…

(image courtesy of Happy Friendship Quotes)

Upon returning…

Published on January 27, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay8 Comments

My husband just got home, this weekend, from spending the last few weeks in Australia. He was there on business, but because of the nature of his business, his trip was also filled with lots of fun. Adding to the reality that he truly loves his job, it was pretty much the best sort of vacation ever. He would likely read this and argue that, no, he would rather his family be with him. While I think he believes this is true, he got to hang out with new friends and spend the whole of his free time bingeing on gross sci-fi movies or geeking out at super uninteresting attractions that he and his engineer friends find enthralling while his family, well, wouldn’t… Don’t get me wrong, he loves the vacations where his family is along for the adventure, BUT the trips down under are likely best reserved for he and his work mates.

I use the word mates because, while my husband can relocate pretty much anywhere and never have his accent reflect that geographical location (unlike myself or his daughters), it only takes him a matter of days in a new plays to pick up on their lingo. His first Skype with Gen, he accidentally referenced her mates instead of her friends. She hasn’t really let the slip go, and since he flew home there have been many other slip ups that make us chuckle (though I’ve never really been to Australia so for the life of me I can’t remember what they were.) He is having difficulty driving on the right side of the road and turning on the blinker rather than the windshield wipers, which makes for really fun trips when winds are howling outside and the snow is whipping about, but hey, it’s good for life to stay exciting. (also, we’re really hoping these things right themselves soon. This wasn’t his first trip down under, but we don’t recall such difficulties the last time. He’s now asking me to move there, something I’ve NO DESIRE to do… His work will take him there again and I fear the next time there may be no adjusting back. Ha!)

All in all, despite his completely wonky sleep schedule, his incessantly reminding me it’s cold here and that he just left 78 degree weather, and my having to surrender his pillow, slippers, favorite sweatshirt and side of the bed (all of which I stole the moment he left town) it’s just really wonderful to have my husband home. It’s hard to find anything wonderful about a Michigan winter laden weekend that comes close to topping that gift.

On Money…

Published on January 23, 2014January 23, 2014 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

Gen and I ran to our local super-chain supermarket (Kroger) to pick up a few random essentials like apples, bananas, parmesan cheese, rolos and chocolate syrup- you know, just normal stuff… Waiting in line, the manager decides to assist and open a second checkout line. Lucky us!

I pay in cash, for my essentials. (in all fairness, the rolos were Gen’s.)

I receive $3.37 change. It’s by a complete fluke that I glance at the change and see a Canadian quarter in place of a good old-fashioned (and accepted at all stores domestically) quarter. “um, excuse me?” I say, politely.

She responds with a look.

“This isn’t accepted here, correct?” I mean, maybe I’m stupid… Maybe Canadian money is now the same as US currency. I don’t know.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Right, so can I get a quarter that is accepted here please?”

She looks at me as though I have asked her to not only hand over her newborn child but her sweet little pure-bread puppy as well. (assuming, of course that she has both.) “We don’t do that here.”

It is important, at this point, for me to point out that my hand has NOT moved, from where she handed me the change. I have not attempted to pull one over on her, with my quick handedness in and effort to cheat her out of an American 25 cent piece.

“um, here’s the thing. You GAVE me a quarter that you have admitted you can’t accept, and now you are refusing to exchange it for valid American currency. Do YOU see the problem with that?”

“It’s just a quarter, ma’am.” Oh, I wanted to Just a quarter her quarter… but what was I going to do? Ask for the manager? So I just stood there. Eventually her stubborn streak (not mine, I was the victim, of course) weakened and she said “I will make an exception just this once.”

So, for the record, so that we are all clear- And this comes STRAIGHT FROM MANAGEMENT- Kroger’s policy, should they give you unaccepted money is to not replace it with real money with value. To some people this might seem a bit underhanded but I guess it’s simply in store policy.

We keep a large jar full of change. Every year or so we roll it up (usually when it’s too heavy) and deposit in the bank. The last time it was done (and it was ALL American money, mind you) was right before we moved here, last March. I decided it would an interesting idea to go through the jar and see what we come up with. Well, we had eleven Canadian pieces, twelve British coins, 4 completely unknown coins that Gen immediately thought were “awesome” and two plastic pennies. No, I’m not kidding… PLASTIC pennies.

The moral of this story is, Michigan cashiers need to pay more attention to the money they accept and give as change. (as do we need to pay more attention to what we’re shoving in our pockets/coin purses/change jars.)