Of My March…
Just a Glimpse…
Author: Mae @ Rainydayinmay
Desert native who claims the Pacific Northwest at home, while currently residing the Northeast. Lifecoach, Podcaster, PR writer, essay author, imaginary poet and every day dreamer...
The Yen and the Yang…
Seventeen years ago today I married my husband. We were young. Very young.
I have been thinking a lot about that day.
Cherishing these seconds with Lucas, before he departs and eventually deploys, it is hard not to be reflective…
Those early days of marriage, I was naive. I was a fool in an abundance of ways. Maybe there are newly eighteen year olds who are ready for such a huge event- but I know that I wasn’t…
Even so- I look at my amazing husband and our God-sewn family and my heart stretches at the seem, about to burst. Just when I feel a slight tear and am sure my heart can’t hold any more goodness and gratitude- it grows a bit more. I can not believe my luck, my gifts, my blessings…
I caught external glimpses of my life yesterday, as my family laughed and enjoyed togetherness. Though the reasons behind my kids making their way into my life are horrific and unacceptable- I can’t imagine loving anyone more.
My husband and these three kids, who can barely even be called that anymore, complete me.
Not in a cliche’ way, either… Just an honest one.
But it is this one man, (my husband,} and this one boy-turned man, (my son,) overwhelming my heart today. I look at my husband’s face, hand in his, and long to freeze time. To hold his gaze forever, no illness or loss clouding over us. This is the better that our ages-ago-vows were talking about… I want the nightmares we’ve lived to be the worst and just revel in this moment together.
I look at my son’s smile and I ache to freeze time too…
To keep him safe. To keep him happy, healthy…
To keep him home.
But still, the clock ticks on.
Tomorrow is just another day, the first day into our next year of marriage. More journey. More betters and even more worses.
Tomorrow my son, who is so much a man but still that little boy I fell in mommy love with those years ago, boards a plane that feels overwhelming, and honestly pretty scary…
{To my husband: I love you so much. SO MUCH. You make my life a tremendously amazing thing that no word describes. You are everything wonderful that I am not. I can not imagine a world without you… I love who you are, for these kids. You are incredible…
Happy Anniversary… }
Silence explained…
I realize that, aside from a whiny birthday post and Genny’s party recap- I sort of had this super dramatic post and then dropped off the face of the bloggy planet…
I am preserving every moment of my time… and trying really hard to process things in this life and all that comes with it. Today is Thursday… It was around this time, a week and one day ago, that my son call from Massachusetts. He’s in the Army, in case you didn’t know. He was near Boston taking part in a testing program that was wrapping up this weekend, following which, he would be reporting to Ft. Lewis Washington. To say that we were thrilled that he’d be seven hours from home, would be an understatement. We miss him very much…
Anyway, I’ve veered off course… let me start again…
Eight days ago Lucas phoned to tell me that the Army had once again changed their plans for him, (they seem to do this a lot) and that he was being sent to Germany (for THREE years) on emergency orders. He will likely be aiding in efforts against certain war torn and dangerous places that no mother wants their son to go… He will be flying into the airport with this recent news.
He was home just a few days later, on Genny’s birthday to be exact. We were hugging him. I was hugging him.
But in just a couple of days, he boards a plane and we join the hoards of families who say goodbye as their loved ones who walk off into the great big scary real world.
I keep thinking, perhaps if we’d had more time to prepare. Maybe if it wasn’t all so sudden. Maybe if he was home longer. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe…
I’ll blog again, in a few days… When I am dealing with things a bit better. After my precious minutes with him are gone- at least until his next leave…
Until then, your prayers are AWESOMESLY appreciated…
A Weekend in Paris…
The invitation…
The party favor bag…
The Parisian Decor…
The Activities…
– A Glamorous fashion show
– Crazy tissue paper fights
– Eiffel Tower awards
– Dancing
– Makeovers
– Classic Parisian Films
– And so much more…
And for breakfast, her daddy the pancake master perfected these…
And on her birthday morning, again her daddy made the morning with
cake batter pancakes…
Parisian Party SUCCESS… :)
Birthdays and other such miseries…
Ahh… Birthdays…
Over the weekend we had immense amounts of birthday wonderment for Gen as she spent three entire days celebrated the commencement of her twelfth birthday. While three seems extreme, most of it is my fault. And life’s fault. And, well, it just is… On Friday we went to get mani/pedis and then to get her hair cut (she was going for an A-line) and highlighted. What resulted, $72 dollars later, was Genny emerging (after FOUR HOURS of service to her hair,) was Gen looking EXACTLY the same. Am I the only one having difficulty understanding this? I saw the foils in her hair… And yet- NOTHING changed. Not her highlights… Not her cut/style. Nothing.
And we frantically scurried along to survive the multitude of errands needing our attention before her sleepover- which rocked…
Saturday she requested lunch at a local place with sings birthday ballads and delivers towering ice cream sundaes.
Sunday, her actual birthday, brought her a cake batter pancake breakfast, family presents, a shopping day at the mall spending birthday money and gift cards- and then a trip to the movies to take in the latest Wimpy Kid installment, (which we all LOVED!) .
Today is my thirty fifth birthday and it has completely sucked.
it has sucked for all of the good reasons… My husband loves me. Really who can complain? He loves me so much that he literally stressed out and ruined the day succumbing to the pressure of making it a good day…
Of all of life’s ironies…
all in all, I’m glad our birthday season is behind us…
Now if Spring would just get the memo…
Until then, I will just spend as much quality time with my son, who flew in for some family leave before heading to Germany for three years.
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