Mae @ Rainydayinmay

"bad" books, and why we need them…

Published on September 28, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

Dear V.C. Andrews/Andrew Neiderman,

Oh… But once a girl, was I, who cringed at the idea of reading a book for fun. Then, one day, a well intentioned adult decided to share one of your novels with me.

I was ten…

While, at thirty five, I still fancy myself an occasional “easy read” of one of your stories- I am sure most would agree that ten was a bit young.

That being said, I am glad she shared them…

Reflectively I have to admit that this very deed, of opening my eyes to the world of such books may have been the key thing that saved my life. Before V.C. Andrews books, (most of which is ghost written by Andrew Neiderman) it had never occurred to me that step fathers should not have sex, french kiss, or other similar things with their step children. This was my life, it was simply something that happened. I hated it, it terrified me, but what could I do about it? As far as I knew, every family’s closed doors hid this truth. I had no idea that adults could be complicated, and their odd actions could come off as jealous or abusive because they were simply hurting humans who had no idea how to deal. Before I dove into the your fictional world, I had no idea that there was anything good inside of me or that I could simply change my life and/or circumstances and yield completely different and safe results…

During the time, in my life, when these dawnings and realizations were rising in me- Heaven Casteel was my best friend. I lost myself in a series of books in such a way that I finally understood the possibility of seeing books as an escape. They were my escape.

My lifeline…

In more ways than one, your books changed my life. (another way being that i now adore books and love to read.) Once, many years ago, I was asked “why does such trash have to be written?”

I did take it a little personal…

When people stop making stupid decisions, like abusing or molesting their children- and when parents stop projecting their bitterness and disappointment on their growing children, therefore stunting them- maybe the world can settle down and read books about sunshine, sugar and poetry. In the meantime, i wish that people would stop insulting the possibility that someone might need a tragically twisted story about a young girl.

God knows that I did…

It happened in Vegas…

Published on September 27, 2011 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Dear Airport girl,

What has it been, nineteen years, almost? Wow, time really passes. There you were, all sophisticated in your ripe old age of nineteen- and there I was, in my completely naive sixteen years of life. We met in Vegas, I believe. It seems like we had already been there for close to a day though.

That stupid snow storm kept us grounded forever.

Not to mention the incredibly affordable airline, which really only sucked incredibly…

I don’t think that I thank you, then, for hanging out with me for those three days stranded between Vegas and Salt Lake. As two total strangers, from completely different lives, we had some really great talks and a lot of laughs. It was sort of like one long, unpredictable sleepover.

Come to think of it, it would have made a great John Hughes film…

Anyway, this letter was supposed to be to someone I only knew for one day, and technically speaking I guess I knew you for two or three, but it doesn’t matter. Nearly two decades later I still think about it, even though most of the details of disappeared, and think of it (and you) fondly.

Thanks for the mini-friendship, your kindness, and for the adventure…

pinky swear…

Published on September 26, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

Dear husband,

thanks for supporting me.

thanks for being married to me, even though I’m a writer. I know it sucks to have a wife who “works” so hard, with the goal of SOMEDAY contributing more than pennies to our income. You are patient and you balance our lives as though your wife works full time- without much benefit.

You believe in me.

I love you…

I meant my pinky promise…

Things won’t always look like this, and when they look better than this- we’ll look back and see how worth it was.

I love you, and i love now. i don’t want to miss this part of the journey either…

At a loss…

Published on September 25, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

My dear friend,

You are so beautiful and gracefilled…

This pain, this loss that you are going through brakes my heart. I know this loss and I know how it has a way of staying with us, always. We heal some, it’s true- but this wound scars and we never forget.

That ache does not really go away.

I love you and i HATE that you have to walk this path.

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a favorite memory…

Published on September 24, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

Dear Ms. Thompson,

I know some may view it as a little sad that one of my all time favorite movies involves a celebrity whom I don’t really know, and not one single friend or family member. I feel like I should apologize for that, but not really… I have millions of frozen moments with them, but this moment (hour) with you is completely set apart.

First and foremost, please allow me to say that I think you are amazing.

When I met you, back in January of 2006, I was still still fairly moon eyed over the whole celebrity interview thing. It had been a horrible trip out to LA though, and I was emotionally exhausted and at a loss in pretty much every area. I had sat down to interview Colin first and all composure, no matter how hard I’d tried to maintain it, had flown right out the window when he walked in the room. I mean, and please excuse the side note for a moment but what girl wouldn’t grow a little faint and speechless when Colin Firth walks in to a room to talk to you, and it occurs to you that you are actually sitting in the Regent Beverly Wiltshire- ala’ Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. (though of course you are not a prostitute!) First you are sipping coffee, ranting about LAX security and how the Beverly Hills police department deals with things, when suddenly he walks in- tremendously taller that expected and clad in tremendously expensive jeans, a leather jacket that smelled of heaven… I mean, it was all a tad on the surreal and overwhelming side, you have to admit. Well maybe you wouldn’t, which reminds me- how do you do it?

Anyway, moving back towards the point of this letter: you…

By the time you sauntered in to the interview, I was done for. Tired, stressed, and greatly thrown off my game. Truthfully, I was ready to simply call a cab and go nurse my impending migraine in a stiff chair at the airport, waiting for my flight.

And you, Emma, were exactly what I needed. Over the years I’ve met several people of celebrity status and I have never met anyone like you. You are easily one of the most comfortable people, celebrity or not, that I’ve been around. Twenty minutes into our interview, (where you chose to sit on the floor, mind you) I felt like I had known you forever. The passion for your work, combined with the way you spoke of motherhood and your family inspired me in countless ways that I can not even put into words… Thank you for that. Thank you for taking a moment that was the polar opposite of great and comfortable- and making it my absolute favorite memory…

I hope, someday, to get the opportunity again. If not, though, I am happy to have had the beautiful brunch and talk that we did…