My dear friend,
You are so beautiful and gracefilled…
This pain, this loss that you are going through brakes my heart. I know this loss and I know how it has a way of staying with us, always. We heal some, it’s true- but this wound scars and we never forget.
That ache does not really go away.
I love you and i HATE that you have to walk this path.
Rainy Day in May... 
Beautifully said.