Mae @ Rainydayinmay

A charmingly woeful tale…

Published on October 19, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

This is the very sad story about a girl who returned home to a state, let’s say Idaho, just after one of her favorite bands performed a big show there. Hypothetically, for legitimacy sake, we’ll say this band was Death Cab for Cutie.

The girl was pretty sad. {She also missed getting to sit down and chat candidly with Matt Damon, but that’s an entirely different story…} So, sadly the SEE DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE LIVE part of her life’s goals check list remained untouched.

Le’ Sigh…

Life went on, and many other lines became scratched off. She was happy about this and uber grateful. Eventually the scars of missing Death Cab by just an inch began to heal and finally they retreated to hide in that secret place where the many missed Dave Matthews show scars had gone. {That is a truly terrible series’ of stories that she may or may not talk about one day.}

Moving on- One day Girl got really sick and all of the health experts in her village scratched their heads in confusion telling her, time and again, We just don’t know what could possibly be wrong with you, Girl! So, she was sad once again. As her strength grew weaker {er, shrankweaker???}, she missed weddings and parties, weekend trips and all sorts of fun adventures. It was in this delirious and debilitated state that Girl learned that one of her most favorite bands, of all time- {Death Cab!!!!} was once again planning a performance in her village. Hope blossomed within her, like a hydrangea bush and she optimistically looked forward to the day that she would sway with thousands of others during Soul Meets Body, and her life would be complete.

Alas, doctor’s bills from Girl’s mystery illness began to stack up. Prescriptions increased in cost and ran dry having no altering betterment on her health. Girl realized that it was a frivolous purchase to buy tickets to the glorious Death Cab event, and sadly she walked past the ticket booth and pushed them from her mind.

Messages came, via cellular technology, in a rare abundance asking Girl if she planned to go to Death Cab. It seemed everyone was going, and forgetting about the show seemed an impossibility. Then, one day, Girl’s friend Kelly won tickets to see Death Cab. Due to life circumstances Kelly could not attend the event and offered her beloved, magical, prized tickets to Girl.

Girl cried with happiness. {HAPPINESS!!!} Girl read SEE DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE LIVE in her goal journal over and over and over again. Like a dream coming true- this reality once again dawned hope.

Her mystery illness, however, had other plans. The day before the show she fell ill with a fever and rested as much as possible. She was determined not to miss it. The night before the show left her ill and sleepless, but her strong will prevailed. She finally rose and began to busy herself in preparation on what was to be the magical event day. She felt great. As the hours passed however, and the show neared- she grew weaker and her fever raged higher. With the diagnosis (after months of no answers) of pneumonia came the crippling instructions telling her to rest and nothing else, {Cue crushing gameshow music}. No night air. No exertion. Repetitively her doctor assured her that Girl had no idea how truly sick she was.

No Death Cab. Girl was sure no one knew how truly sad she was.

Hoping to cuddle up somewhere warm and find the rest which eluded her- to balm her heartache- Girl was surprised to learn of Boy’s other plans.

No concert? No Death Cab? I have a great idea then! Why don’t I turn our entire house upside down? Move the lower floor of our humble cottage to the upper floor and switch everything around! Won’t that be adventurous? Won’t that be fun? !?!?!

Thinking Boy meant someday, she nodded to appease him. While typically adventures of the home interior type were Girl’s most adored adventures of all- these days finding the bottle of milk on a different shelf in the refrigerator seemed extreme enough. Taken quickly by sleep, Girl woke twenty minutes later to boy disassembling nearly everything.

BIG Sigh, Cough, Cough…

As sad stories go, this is far from the saddest- but it’s still pretty sad all the same. If there were a moral it would probably be something like don’t hope, don’t dream– but that somehow makes it more horror story than sad tale so instead I’ll make it this: life is full of adventures- don’t pin your hope on just one because that isn’t fair to the fun waiting around the corner…

Oh yeah, and this: Your tv can always be moved back, if it looks awful, and he’ll have to do it since this was his idea in the first place!

The End…

And what do you do?

Published on October 17, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

I was up most of the night, due to this crazy virus that won’t go away- and decided not to blog this morning. Something about you guys likely not wanting to read about the mucous laced details of my ultra romantic life and such. Instead I nestled down with my orange juice and laptop, to go through my reader, when I read one of my favorite bloggers, Ada over at Of Woods and Words who posted about being a writer and expressing/describing that to others.

Her post, and my own experiences in answering the dreaded questions really got me to thinking about how writers got the short end of the stick. If you work in payroll and someone asks you what you do for a living- it’s pretty simple: payroll. If you are a chef, also totally simple. Even my husband’s job, which is pretty complicated unless you are already familiar with his industry, is explained happily enough in a few sentences.

I think that is why, back in ’08, it was so appealing to throw caution to the wind and start my own photography business. I loved it. i was doing it regularly for others anyway so why not do it professionally? But it did matter. It mattered because when the question came, Do you work? And I would answer that I did, I could say I own a photography business, and everyone was happy.

Well, they were happy anyway. I wasn’t happy, so much, because first and foremost I AM a writer and due to booking photo fun, I wasn’t writing… I’ve already said all of that though.

Instead once again the question comes, And Misty, What do you do? And I get to respond with, I’m a writer. And they force a smile, often wiry and self righteous, and say Oh? What do you write?

And the spiraling and tumbling of Alice down the rabbit hole becomes my very existence…

Somehow a suitable answer never comes.

Not one.

I blog. Definitely not the answer they’d be happy with OR the truth really.

Books. Oh? Can I see them at Barnes & Noble?

And on and on it could go. Worst case scenario nearly every time.

It occurred to me that I answer the questions based on society rather than soul. Our American society places at the forefront of everything MONEY. Anyone who is a writer knows that writing and money aren’t really synonymous. For a true writer, it has never been about money, though the little bit of money we sometimes get is nice. I know this, and am one hundred percent ok with this until the dreaded questions come. Suddenly I clam up. I wrack my brain trying to sort it all and figure out what writing had paychecks attached, most recently. Well, i recently wrote an article for a publishing house. Before that I did a handful of press reviews. Freelance mostly. Whatever comes along. I’d love to finish my novel and have it published someday but you’ve got to pay the bills.

Cue {weak, unsure} smile.

And, end scene.

CRAP.

I may as well be a temp worker, unable to commit to an actual job. I instead fly by the seat of my pants and takes whatever comes along on days when I’m willing to get off my butt and work. Oh yeah, and there’s the idea of a ludicrous pipe dream too, hiding back there. For years I’ve thought that was way the world saw us writers but now, today, I am wondering if that’s not because it’s the way I’ve painted it?

I mean, isn’t that how the majority of us learn to see the world? Through the words woven and splayed out for us, by writers?

It’s kind of enough to make your head hurt, isn’t it?

I’ve decided that I’m done playing that game. I am done answering, (or not answering, but verbally spiraling head first down a volcano)

Misty, do you work?

I do, head held high, I am a writer.

Oh. Well, what do you write?

Right now I’m focusing on my novel. I have been doing freelance for years, but the novel is my top priority.

It’s true, and it sounds good to me. Then again, I am a writer so it would. The point is- I don’t care. I don’t care anymore what people think. If the day that magical book deal shows up, ever comes, all of the naysayers and condescenders will change their tune anyway so who cares what they think now? And like Ada, I write on what inspires me. That’s why I blog. It may change, with the wind, but I don’t have to explain that to anyone.

distract me…

Published on October 15, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Being the big Glee fan that I am, I have been waiting months to catch a peek at Ryan Murphy’s new show American Horror Story. I have read critic pieces on it, touting it as the anti-Glee and terrifying. Whatever. Though he may not always be the nicest guy, i think he is uber talented and I was excited to see what his new adventure was all about.

Problem was, i decided to do that at 11:30 at night…

It was pretty freaking scary and while I was feeling tired before, now i’m feeling a little like I could stay awake forever. I needed a distraction, of happy sorts. What better distraction than to blog?

Exactly!

Genny didn’t have school yesterday or today, due to parent teacher conferences. We had our conference last night and it went really well. Yesterday morning however, hours and hours before said conference was schedule, Gen and I sat down to make our school holiday bucket lists. With the luxury of a four day weekend blankly beautiful and glistening ahead of us- I knew that it was going to take pro-active excitement to get us through it.

Our list had things like baking pumpkin treats and cookies…

It had things like manicures and pedicures…

It had board game playing, library book reading and movie watching…

It had wii game playing and chocolate eating and caramel apple cider drinking…

It had Genny making dinner one night, a special family movie night- complete with special treats…

That girl and I, we planned a fantastic four day weekend and we’ve knocked a lot of happiness and beautiful moments off of that bucket list.

Of course, I had to get a little work done too. She was, in true Genny form, pretty awesome about that. So awesome, in fact, that while I was out doing a photo gig, she dressed up and decided to take advantage of the moment…

She’s pretty lovely, eh?

I think so…

As much as I miss her during the day, now that she’s schooling mainstream- and as much as I worry about her and the things that happen at school- I have to admit I’ve loved this… I’ve loved the something special that comes along with days together. I’ve loved hearing how much she appreciates the more structured classes and knowing that it is truly because of me and the way that I educated her. The things I always got so frustrated with, and told her one day she’d love (while she screamed her doubts) are now the strengths she owns. {and she owns them well…}

I have loved the laughing and the smiles and the sweet multitude of minutes that have filled our days.

Sure, she’s 12. She’s rude sometimes. She’s mouthy sometimes. She is totally entitled and self centered most of the time. Then again, she’s 12, I can not expect much less. But, she is also open and shares with me about her life. She sings when she does her chores, and every other second… She is happy and she is whole and she is amazing and lovely… {and sometimes amazingly frustrating, but whatever…}

In a nutshell: She’s the perfect distraction from the scary show… and to think, she kind of used to be the scary show… I’d say this is definite progress!

Comfort zone…

Published on October 14, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay7 Comments

I hate to be that person. Honestly, I do.

I know that quite a percentage of my readers do not subscribe to the beliefs of Christianity. Please allow me to take a moment to tell you how grateful I am that you read my words anyway, knowing that I do. In an era when even the word Christian is synonymous with bigotry and so many other negative words and actions- i am incredibly grateful that you stick around.

So, back to my original sentence… i really do hate to be that person… You know, the critical one.

Let me back up.

I saw a really amazing movie recently. It raw, and honest and moving. It deals with real sticky subject matter and I honestly believe that anyone whose life has been touched by cancer would draw something from it. It really left me changed, in a way, and thinking about how that’s what movies should be like. I mean, granted, there always going to movies simply for entertainments sake and that’s ok. Some of them are awful and some of them are fun to watch. But most of the time, the movies that will stand through time and hold the loyalty of faithful audiences are going to be the ones that truly meant something… The one’s we take from. 50/50 is that film.

Also recently, (more recently than 50/50) Chw and I went on a double date to catch a showing of Courageous. I can’t begin to tell you how many friends i had who enthusiastically encouraged everyone they knew to see this film. I long ago made the decision to NOT overly criticize “Christian” films because they lack the big budgets and screen start power that mainstream films have. Typically they are rough, poorly acted, blah blah blah. But again, i firmly believe that movies should mean something, so the other stuff doesn’t matter.

Courageous… I felt like this film sorely missed the mark (and the point) with why this company began making films to begin with. Somewhere along the way I think the ticket purchases took away some common sense. The storyline in this film was truly beautiful. It convicted my husband, on multiple levels, about what it truly means to be a good husband and father. It challenged his perception of good enough vs. great. We laughed, and a scene even choked us up a little… And then, though it had teetered on crossing an invisible line before- it blatantly jumped off the pier head first towards the end.

A few facts:

– people go to the movies, first and foremost, to be entertained.

– on occasion, SOME people may hope to take some depth with them, as well.

– people who don’t already love Jesus DO NOT feel respected paying $10 for a ticket to a sermon. They feel ripped off. IT DOES NOT REACH THEM- it insults them.

– churches buying out theaters so their members can see the film does not make it a “box office success, changing lives and reaching millions.” It makes it a staged success…

– save everyone some frustration and money and buy a pre-release DVD to show at your church. You know, where preaching is supposed to happen.

From a Christian perspective, the bottom line should always be to reach others.

At least in America, throwing it in their face doesn’t reach people. Instead it convinces them that they were right about us to begin with…

Movies like Soul Surfer, for example, gently tell the story they came to say, and then respectfully roll the credits. They plant seeds and leave the audience to mull over it- or walk away. I appreciate that.

I love Jesus. i do… And yet, this movie was a bit much for me.

And, as i have undoubtedly ticked off a lot of people, I have one more thing to say… A PG rating does not make it a family film. Please treat your kids better than that. Telling your kids you are going on a “family” trip to the movies, and then seeing a movie like Courageous sends the wrong message to your kids. Your kids do not understand what is on the screen before them. How can they, this adult stuff and they are KIDS. They will be bored. You will get upset. It isn’t pretty for anyone.

Pretty much that’s all i have to say. Like it or hate it, it’s ok. I know people who, at the very moment are accusing me of dumbing my beliefs down or denying them. It isn’t about that. It is a matter of respecting people.

welcome to the uncool table…

Published on October 12, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

Does your life ever feel like it subscribes to a certain theme? Like suddenly you read a book that has something particular in it, and suddenly that same thing is playing on your television, and suddenly friends are calling or emailing you with the same topic in mind…

I don’t know what i’m saying really, i just sometimes subscribe to the notion that my life umbrellas in under a certain theme, from time to time.

Like now…

Take Gen, for example. She’s happily implanted into the trenches of middle school. She loves school, she loves her days and she is (for the most part) doing really well… BUT, (because, you know, there’s always a “but”) there’s this girl. And this girl’s friends… And their little lame clique doesn’t exactly make life easy for Gen. It’s a frustration. A frustration that she’s handling really well considering she’s only twelve. {and considering her main confidant about the situation is me and I am stupid and have no idea what I am talking about so she knows not to listen to me, because you know- at 12 she knows everything…}

So, on a particularly bad day of this, I had three different people text me and mention they were watching Mean Girls. On DVD no less, not cable. Weird, right?

And then I found out that a friend of mine has been talking about me behind my back. I have a VERY surface friendship with this person even though I suspect she believes we are closer. I am very guarded with her for many, MANY reasons, but I was still surprised and hurt when I found out.

And then there is the fact that I am completely obsessed with Bath and Body Work’s new tween hand sanitizers…

AND I am all caught up with who is going to the Jr. High Halloween Dance with who… (because this actually changes daily, which is SO SURPRISING for middle school relationships. *Cough*)