Category: Misc.

may…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

It’s that time again… time to reflect on the key moments of the month while showing a photo of prints that won’t likely mean much to anyone but me. This blogging journey is so weird, isn’t it?

May has been the soggiest month we’ve had since moving to Western PA. Irony that these were rainy days in May isn’t lost on me. And listen, even I was rolling my eyes come the end of May because I get it… it was a good joke, but also… That being said, our last weekend couldn’t have been more perfect/beatiful!

  • This month I set a business goal for myself that seemed bigger than anything I’d set for a one-month period before. I did this to be bold, I did it to be brave and act in intentional self-support, but also I did not believe I was capable of making it. I didn’t make it. (I was SO CLOSE!) What I realized though, was that I could. I could make it. I pushed myself and tested myself in ways that surprised myself and what I learned from the experience was invaluable.
  • I learned that while I’ve always felt like our backyard looked like the sort of place fairies might live, all it takes is one other person saying those words out loud for me to begin turning our space into a fairy world. My poor, patient husband.
  • I learned how quickly things can change. I was reminded of how fast some things can fall apart, and how though love is immeasurable and infinite, it isn’t always enough.
  • It occurred to me this month how the same smell deliciously coming from a simmering pot on the stove can be repulsive coming from a garbage can. It’s weird, right? Like it’s the SAME SMELL, and yet in one context it can make our stomach growl with hunger, and in the other context can cause us to turn green. Life is crazy!
  • I found out that all it takes is to see a batch of intricately decorated sugar cookies for me to turn my weekend plans upside down and take a deep dive into a nostalgic movie marathon. (I’m so fun!)
  • This month I came face to face with the fact that I’m a creature of habit. I will keep using the same frustrating process to do something because that’s what I know, even when made aware of simpler, potentially better processes out there. Ugh! God help me.
  • This month I kicked off a book club, and I’m super excited!
  • This month I attended a local community theater production that a friend was in, and realized not everything ages well. The play was likely more offensive today than it would have been when it was written, and while I don’t fault the local theater for doing it, I’m grateful for the awareness I had over some progress our society has made.
  • I had a unique opportunity to become a part of a fun community that empowers creative artists in intentional ways. This is making me more aware of how I support others.
  • On that note, I also learned there is an entire business model operating on the exploitation of independent authors and it is so incredibly nauseating.
  • All of these things together (oddly enough, even the trash smell) showed me to follow through, stay on course, challenge myself in new ways, ignore limits, and keep moving forward… No regrets.

I hope your May lessons were ones that reminded you how truly capable and worthy you are!

the terrible twos…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

How is it that this silly little cat, with the silkiest fur I could snuggle all day (if she would allow it, which she won’t!) is two?

Two.

So many people quip that a writer needs a cat, and even two years in I’ll be honest– I don’t get it. While I love our little rescue Darcy… our own little ginger Orphan Annie… I’m still not really #teamcat. When she’s sweet, she’s sweet. BUT, she is also incredibly naughty, mostly UN-snuggly, and absolutely no help when I’m trying to write or work and she’s in the same room.

Even so, she’s made our lives quite special and we adore her. Especially our Golden Retriever Elenor. They are the very best of friends!

Happy birthday to our little Darcy.

Happy Two-year Cativersary for us. As annoying as she is–may she live to be one hundred!

education and re-education…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Oh, the brutality of April… I’ve chatted with enough people who also found April especially tough this year that I know I wasn’t alone… that being said, if you’re reading this post and thinking to yourself not me–this month was amazing, then know that I am so happy! It’s you who gives the rest of us hope.

I like to use my wrap days, at the end of each month, to reflect back on what life taught me over these past few weeks. To be honest, a lot of times I learn and relearn the same stuff. I guess someday it may stick!

  • This month I reconnected with what it was like to lose myself in a good novel. I actually did it twice, and both books were much bigger than my normal “page count” restrictions, so that was a lot of fun!
  • I learned that there is some speculation Lewis Carroll (Author of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland) was a pedophile. This one really caught me off guard, and I had to sit in my feelings for a while. I love his writing and the Alice stories so deeply. The more I researched and read, the more I realized that it was all opinions from today projected upon life back then. Sometimes we get into trouble doing that because there are so many aspects we consider common sense, ethical, or human decency today that weren’t long ago. I made the decision to still love these things because they resonate so deeply, and in the end, we just don’t really know.
  • I learned of a pretty well-known challenge to eat 30 different plants a week. Most people do it for a week but we’ve been trying to reset this every Sunday and do it through every week. We haven’t made it yet, but my chart is usually at 27 or 28 so I’m not going to consider it a loss. (The best thing I learned about this process was initially when I realized our normal weekly diet averaged between 20 and 25. What an awesome feeling that was!)
  • I’m learning how to use watercolors. The biggest reality I’ve had to adjust to is that it will be a process and take time to learn, but I do really love it!
  • I’m learning about creative dating! On the 2nd Chw and I celebrated our 28th anniversary and made the commitment to try A-Z dating over the next year, meaning intentionally creative dates must start with a letter, and we check them off when done–sort of like a bucket list. We aren’t going in order because logistically that seemed unlikely. We did do A, with the Alice Experience–an underground hidden immersive experience. It was so much fun and the perfect way to kick off this A-Z adventure!
  • I learned, (in a very unfortunate way), about Haglund’s Deformity. BOO!
  • I learned my husband and I would both be happy living a life where we only ate tacos and cookies. (Also, because we really diversify the types of each of those foods, we could still manage our PLANT challenge… It’s the perfect lifestyle, don’t you think????)
  • I’ve learned the right romper can be very flattering, and I’ll be honest–this one shocked me the most!
  • and finally, that going to a paint night with Chw will undoubtedly mean his painting will be far better than mine… but oh, was it fun!

It’s been a pretty quiet month really. Unstable weather, stress, heavy workloads, wrapping up edits and revisions on my memoir… The biggest lesson I’ve learned where that is concerned is that the writing of the book is actually the part requiring the least amount of work. I’m staying centered and grounded, working on not allowing myself to slip into a state of overwhelm.

My every-month take away remains, most importantly, to continue chasing beauty, adventure, and magic as authentically and intentionally as this life will allow.

that one guy’s birthday…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Chw and I went out of town for the weekend. We stayed in a beautiful hotel, our bed was the closest thing to a cloud I’ve ever slept on, we ate delicious food, went to a super fun event, the weather was better than it’s been as of late–all in all, it was perfection… This morning before we checked out, we popped into the hotel restaurant for some breakfast. Initially, we thought we were the only patrons until a booming voice came from around a corner as we passed, “yeah, I’m here because it’s my birthday!” He was seated at a table alone, but we soon noticed he was wearing Bluetooth headphones.

For the majority of our breakfast, we were treated to the very loud, one-sided conversations of this guy phoning person after person to tell them it was his birthday. It was hilarious. To be honest we ranged from annoyance (I’m not a fan of people talking on the phone in public) to feeling sorry for him, spending his birthday alone, and having to be the one to call others to let them know. It all seemed so sad. However, as I continued eating my egg, chorizo, and avocado burrito the narrative in my head began to shift.

Why was it sad?

Was he lonely? it definitely seemed like it, especially once he had exhausted his contact list and called over the server to tell her it was his birthday, ask her if her kids were out of school for break yet, and tell her what he wanted to do to celebrate his birthday in this city.

Even so, who am I to project shame on someone for spending their birthday alone, or calling people to tell them it’s their birthday?

I am no one.

I’ve had my fair share of wonderful, fun, full birthdays, and I’ve had a few lonely ones too. Birthdays are hard and this guy was owning his like a beast. I am an advocate of birthdays and by the time we signed our tab, grabbed our bags, and began to walk out, this guy had moved to hero status. I have no idea whether the prospect of his day was a sad bummer or an independent adventure. The one thing I had matured enough to realize is this guy was NOT ashamed to let people know it was his special day! He was not ashamed to be celebrating the day alone.

There is something really powerful about setting aside our own perceptions and projections to see the situation of another person simply as it is… it’s not always easy to do, and clearly, I am not perfect at it. Happy birthday to this guy out there exploring an Ohio city in the sleeting rain and snow… And yes, as we did walk out I paused, looked at him, and wished him a happy birthday. He was so happy, his smile beaming from ear to ear.

From a few feet ahead of me, Chw said “I knew you were going to do that!” and that made me happy too…

late-night listening…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

With the hum of the heater and tick-tick of the clock, the late-night hours bring me solace. It isn’t just that the daylight moments hold such noise and chaos, but gently so the darkness blankets in comfort.

On this Sunday evening, long after the last meeting has wrapped and my planner pages for Monday have been scribbled in, I listen. Fine-tuning my ears to the outside-winter sounds of wind howling its ice-laden breath. I press play on a few Marco Polo messages that I managed to neglect in the business of recent days, listening to voices saying things that suddenly matter to me because they matter to those speaking. What a genuine gift it is to have another soul spend their time telling you things–letting you into their moments…

One of the many things we often take for granted.

Though I usually avoid social media on Sundays, I popped on to Instagram to check in– to see… Immediately my feed illuminates with news of Jen Hatmaker’s new man and once again, I care because she cares. While I have immense admiration for the transparency with which she shares of herself, her life, and her journey–I do not know her personally. We are not friends, (though a girl can dream, and one day maybe…) but in the same ways that this empathetic heart has held grief for the wounds she’s been through in recent years, and the absolutely disgusting way many in the public have passed judgment on her for– of course, I pause to hold space for this happy news and to celebrate. And really, what a genuine gift it is to have this woman share pieces of her life with total strangers in such a raw and engaging way…

One of the many things we often take for granted.

I told a friend this evening, that I spent my entire Sunday in my dino pajamas. I drank coffee in them, played video games, napped, watched Killing Eve beside my husband, ate gooey grilled cheese sandwiches, and completed dozens of pages of a work project all from the comfort of my dinosaur pajamas, feet clad in pink bunny slippers.

As empty-nesters, dinners seldom hold the fanfare they once did. The weekends tend to be the least organized on this front. This afternoon we had a conversation about Sunday’s dinner:

“Do we even bother? Do we want dinner?”

“What did we do for dinner last Sunday? Oh… the Super Bowl? Was that only a week ago? Wow. This has been a LONG week.”

“Are you even hungry? Am I? It’s 5:30 now. Is it too late to take a nap? I think I need a nap.”

As a young adult dreaming of my someday, real grown-up life of luxury, this wasn’t quite how I meant it… And yet, here I am. Luxury at its finest.

Late naps, comfortable pajamas, working from home, setting my own hours, having dinner options, and leisurely ways to pass the time with this man I love… Mmmhmmm. Many, many of the things I’ve often taken for granted.

Listening…

I listen to the hum of the universe around me, orchestrated in tones of inner ear ringing, furnace hums, electricity songs–all conducted by the late-night silence.

In a few months, these same hours will hold sounds of insects, crickets, and sticky-warm nightlife. I’ll likely feel equal parts grateful for the track change and nostalgic for the winter solace that was.

Whatever we’re doing, wherever we are, there’s always something pleading for us to listen. Beneath the dialogue and actual words, the rhythm of detail is awaiting our attention. For us to notice, for us to see… What have I been missing, in the rush of busy?

What about tomorrow, when the sun ushers in schedules, phone calls, meetings, and responsibilities?

May we remember to seek pause, even in the chaos. To pay attention, and hold tight to these moments that we’ve grown so accustomed to taking for granted.