Some days…

Some days you wake up fairly upbeat but barely make it to your doorway before life tries to beat you up. 
Some days you open the dryer to find wet sheets, from five days ago, that your 13 year old “forgot to start”… 
Some days your feelings get hurt, even when you are pretty sure the other someone didn’t mean to hurt you. 
Some days are hot, and your allergies are consuming and your head hurts because the air pressure is changing. 
On those days, you might lay down for a nap, in an effort to help your headache. 
On that day, an absolutely amazing thunder and rain storm will come through your neck of the woods and you will sleep through the entire thing, only to wake up congested and sorely disappointed. 
And the dogs won’t stop barking… 
And the wind will blow your fence down… 
And the dogs will run away… 
And you will have a dozen different calls to (and from) your attorney… 
And you might (if you are me) realize your friend quantity is sorely lacking (in the personal reference variety). 
It is on these days that dinner will be the furthest thing from your mind, and the nearest thing on your family’s. And so it’s on an evening such as this, when an old fashioned Poor Man’s Hash will have to suffice- (complete with hot dogs {GAG!}, potatoes, garlic, red onion, grape tomatoes and fresh green peas.) 
If your luck is as good as mine, your husband will spend the whole of dinner prep, dinner, and post dinner hour(s) on a conference call where the very whole of your future could hang on the brink of. 
And it leaves you to have to clean the stainless steel skillet that has a lovely crust of hashed up goodness, all alone. 
And all at once you realize you are now behind on three major freelance assignments and today, the boldest thing you did was fold some laundry and scrub an icky dryer. 
THANK GOD that every day is not a some day, or at least not this kind anyway… 
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Water your lawns, ya’ll…

I am stuck, headphones in my ear, in a 90’s funk. Nothing like the soothing, when life was simpler, nostalgia of a little Goo Goo Dolls, Savage Garden and Blind Melon. 
I have been hairline deep in a writing deadline, and it seemed the only times I would come up for air would be to deal with kid drama. 
You know, the kind where your kid is exceptionally self destructive and there seems to be a million different non-solutions but no actual ones. Except for the one we’re trying, anyway, which involves a whole lot of “So what?” and secretly I really like it. It also involves more constructive uses of her time. We’ll see… 
Anyway, back to my 90’s funk. 
Here’s the thing, life sucked in the 90’s. 
Every few months I was hospitalized, in surgery or having a miscarriage. 
My family all but ostercized me, for one reason or another. 
I became a foster parent and was on my way to adopting two twin girls that I adored, when they were ripped from my heart due to a loop hole. 
We were young and broke. 
I had the confidence of a mud puddle. 
My husband left me for another woman. 
And those are honestly just the highlights of suckage… 
And yet, a song can come on the radio or playlist, and my heart can swell with nostalgia. 
Suddenly I can think about that time that one boy sang me that one song. 
I can remember how great that ridiculously large Italian soda tasted on hot august days, or how amazing that beach summer, full of first love was. 
Somehow memory filters the complete psychoticness of the singing boy, the horrible cream belly ache of the soda and the unbelievable heart shattering of the post-beach summer. 
Are we wired to want anything that is not right now? 
To remember the past with admiration and fondness, or to stare off into the future in the hopes of a plusher green grass to press our toes to… 
I don’t know… I just know that though the nineties currently play on, in my ears, I am going to borrow a little wisdom from someone who is here RIGHT NOW- (well not “here” as much as here…)
“The grass ain’t always greener on the other side, 
it’s green where you water it.”
             ~ Big Sean (in Justin Bieber’s As Long As You Love Me.)
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Sister/sister…

 Happy birthday, to my beautiful little sister.
You were the first keeper of my secrets.
You were my first true best friend.
You have been there for every love, every broken heart, every life loss. Every thing…

I am so grateful that our paths were destined to intertwine.
I can not put into words how much I love you; how much you mean to me.
All of the best memories have you in them.

I am so grateful for your beautiful heart and the empathy and love that you carry for others who are hurting.
Such a gift you are, to the world.
Such a gift that you are, to me.
I love you, always.
Thank you for being the very best sister a girl could possibly have.

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Twenty Two…

While these photos did not post in the correct order AT ALL, they are still a lovely collection of one of the two most amazing, beautiful, inspiring, strong, courageous and valuable girls I know. 
Lucky me, I get to be her mom… 
Happy twenty second birthday, my Manda Sue. 
I am so grateful for you. 
I am oh so proud of you. 
and I love you SO incredibly, stupendously much… 

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Courting nostalgia…

Court this morning. 
Stomach knots and nerves… 
Pray, please? 
In other news, it has been interesting timing having a little one in the house, this week. A good distraction for fun over responsibility, for sure. 
Miss Lil’ C has helped us get in touch with our inner children. 
We’ve becoming reacquainted with things like Max & Ruby, tea parties (more on that later), Laurie Berkner and the ever wonderful Philadelphia Chickens
It’s funny how those things which were once incredibly annoying are suddenly sweetly nostalgic. 
Life’s funny… 
In the meantime… HAPPY Thoughts from a lovely week: 
 Twirling… 
Sweet, tiny, polka dot toes… 
 Dressed up rest times with books on the kindle… 
Cartwheels and handstands… 
Oh my. :) 
Alright, crash course to adulthood… 
This post was brought to you by the background noise of Dora the Explorer… 
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