Category: home

shelved…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay1 Comment

In March of 2020, having oodles of newfound time on my hands, I approached my 44th birthday in a far different headspace than I had before. I had resolved, as we entered the new decade, that the year was going to be an extraordinary one for me. I sought out all sorts of symbolic things in the numbers (2s and 4s) and where specific dates fell in relation to the calendar.

While the year WAS extraordinarily significant for me, it was NOTHING like I had imagined.

Because I was celebrating my birthday by canceling a trip to NYC to see a musical I love, which was set to be in previews, I decided to focus on creativity. Specifically, why I had stopped being super creative, and how could I use the endless lock-down time to get it back. I created an ambitious list, which became a journey itself.

For one, some of those things– penned out of the pre-covid mindset– would no longer be things I’d want to do, and that’s ok.

As someone who fell in love with interior design and making spaces cozy and beautiful, at a very young age, I was sad to see that I’d reached a point where I just didn’t care about that anymore. Well, that’s not true… It wasn’t that I didn’t CARE as much as I was deeply homesick, operating on the BRINK of overwhelm/stress, and was often so frustrated with our tiny cottage and the lack of inspiration it seemed to hold. In an effort to combat that, one of the goals on my list became to redecorate the gallery ledges in our living room, every month for a year. The rules were that it had to be an intentional, low-cost change.

I never expected this idea to grow the way it did. Not only am I still doing the ledges over two years later, but this simple thing inspired lots of people to take space in their homes to do the same. It also fed my creativity, lessened my overwhelm, and I began to do small things here and there all over our home. Eventually, this led to us relandscaping our very jungly yard, and now the idea and project list are unending–which I personally love.

I created the Shelf Series (in my Etsy shop) as a fun and low-cost way to help others in this journey. One of my favorite things about this now habitual act is that it created an opportunity for me to connect with and support other print artists.

The journey over these past two+ years has been a rollercoaster one. So much division, so much hatred, so much tragedy… but out of this time has also come so much incredible creativity and so much growth. Wherever your life falls, in that spectrum, I hope that you’re able to find intentional and small ways to bring magic, healing, and creativity into your space.

XOXO,

M

but also…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Yesterday we spent some time in the dirt, though to be honest, this was more Chw than me. I got to assume the role of lovely assistant and it was so nice. The sun was glorious, our trees are finally admitting it’s Spring, and the birds were serenading us with magic.

Yesterday felt a bit like hope, which is a little odd considering yesterday was also Mother’s Day the “holiday” that most women of my generation struggle with and would push through the meatgrinder if we could… even so, out there in the sunshine and dirt (well, dirt adjacent for me) was hope filled. I chatted with our neighbor about work, we traveled to the hardware store to load up on bricks, and we sat together designing a bird bath plan because just throwing it in the yard feels too easy.

I’ve wanted a bird bath for so long. My mother had one in our front yard when I was growing up and I always felt bad that she didn’t want water in in. When it rained it would fill up, but we lived in southern New Mexico– there wasn’t a lot of rain. Instead, the dry basin would crack beneath the intense desert sun. As I’ve grown into a full-level adult I’ve developed a love of birds. Our yard is a mini-paradise for so many different types of birds and I absolutely love sitting in our sunroom sipping a glass of iced tea and watching them. The feral cats we feed also enjoy watching them, but I have made it known that we provide food to them for free, they will get yelled at if they go after a bird. I am team bird 100% of the time.

So far this plan seems to be working, or at least thats what I tell myself.

I never thought I’d be one for sitting around and dreaming of things like my own bird bath or spending lazy weekend mornings watching those tiny little once-dinosaurs do their thing. Even so, they amaze me. I guess in this way, I amaze me too. I love the peace and simplicity of this way of living, and I’m so grateful that I leveled up into the adult that I have.

Flower beds, yard work, birds, and sun tea… these are all difinitive summer kisses that I love. In some ways I feel like we lost last summer completely, to the pandemic, and so I’m present and ready to embrace this one completely!

I have my happy little list of summer things I’m excited about and thought I’d share. Enthusiasm can be contageous so, whenever you read this, I hope my fan-girling of summer brings you a smile and, at least, an ounce of joy!

  • Movies! We have an outdoor theater set up in our yard and I can not wait to open it up to friends and neigbors as we resume outdoor movie nights!
  • BUT ALSO, there are big -screen movies releasing that I’m so excited about. We used to be avid movie goers and that definitly isn’t the case anymore. Even so, I am so excited for Baz Luerman’s Elvis Biopic! Almost equally as excited for the new Jurassic World and Top Gun sequel!
  • Our area has lovely outdoor garden concerts and I’m so ready for those to resume. Weather permitting, they became our favorite way to spend a Monday evening in summers past.
  • BUT ALSO, We are going to seeshows for The Lumineers and (of course!) Twenty One Pilots this summer. I’m beyond thrilled for both of those adventures!
  • We are so lucky to have a gorgeous beach and several outdoor areas. I can’t wait to get in some good lake time, forest bathing, hiking, and picnics!
  • BUT ALSO, secretly hoping we’ll be able to get in some ocean beach time too. We’ll see. (fingers crossed!)
  • We love supporting our local food truck vendors! They come out for the summer concert series, and we keep tabs on where they’ll be popping up around town!
  • BUT ALSO, we have a Food Truck Ralley every summer. In years past they have turned the weather into Tornado Warnings/Watches so along with delicious food, live music, and the very best fresh squeezed lemonade, there’s that excitement!
  • New summer sunnies and a new floppy hat are thrilling me to no end! Summer toes, sandles, pool time and my cute pool wrap with fringe are really exciting me about the warm weeks to come!
  • BUT ALSO, after three long years away, I get to go home for a few days this summer and I can’t wait! I’m already composing lists of my favorite places to go and my best people!

Moral of this summer-hopeful tale is this: Wherever your life is at today, there is what is happening, BUT ALSO there is always hope.

to a close…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

As January comes to a close I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned… As the clock brought us into this new year, it was with cautious optimism that I greeted 2022. Usually, New Years Day holds big Monday vibes and anyone who knows me knows that Mondays are my favorite, but this year I only felt tired.

I learned to choose fun in the everyday moments, and while I’ve likely learned this lesson before (and will again) somehow it rang truer.

I learned how essential it is to embrace the extra effort that is creativity. To try new things, even if I’m not good at them. This played out in the form of digital drawing on Procreate, making homemade sugar cubes for tea, and painting my first small canvas. None of them were perfect, but each one breathed a sense of life into me–the very thing that dancing with creativity does.

I was reminded of all the loss we’ve had in recent months. My mother-in-law has been struggling with her health since September and so I sent my husband across the country to spend some time with her. It was here where I learned that life–or in this case, SNOW–will hit the hardest when we are alone. During this time of being snowed in, I once again reconnected with fun. I did at-home spa treatments for myself, as well as the dog and cat. (I imagine you can guess which one was less than thrilled and which one loved it.) This was also when I learned to ask for help when I need it instead of insisting on being the helper.

As I seem to every month, I learned more about my writing journey–this forever quest towards something… Align is my word of the year and already these lessons I’m learning are bringing me more into alignment.

For this I am grateful.

chasing normal…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

On Saturday evening we had friends over for dinner. We ate my husband’s special Chorizo Tacos (this man is incredible, I’m telling you!) and played some really fun games. There was laughter intermittent with deep discussion. It was all so normal, triggering moments of memory from the Great Before, while also feeling not normal at all.

That last part is tricky.

As our friends readied to leave, just after midnight, one of them hugged me and said “Let’s not wait a year to do this!”

A year.

The last time we’d seen these two beautiful souls, who live minutes from us, we were at the wrap of 2019. In context, that feels like insanity. Last year lasted so many eternities that the thought of having not seen these friends since BEFORE that is unfathomable. It is almost like we saw them, some weeks passed, we hit pause and then they came over for tacos.

How do we measure life within that pause?

In hugs?

I have hugged my husband a billion times. I hugged my dear friend Maggie several times, back in October. I have hugged my sweet friend Amanda everytime I’ve seen her, which feels regularly, but in all actuality may only equal 8 or 9 times within that year. And then, then Saturday I hugged Ashley and Jessica.

It would seem the span of pause is measured more in isolated conversations, mentions of the virus, bizarre weather patterns, deep self-realizations, and face masks.

We are heading out of town next week where face masks and hugs will be a plenty. I love to go and am so stir crazy, yet the thought of being somewhere else is giving me anxiety. Is it safe to go?

Let’s be honest, it is fair to also ask if it’s safe to stay…

My husband is vaccinated and I’m awaiting my turn. While I wait, I long for sun on my face, adventure and a life lived. Within this paused space of isolation, it is clear to see the toll life has taken on my body and my health. Autoimmune illness has had its way with me, leaving me crumpled in the corner, used. Something has to change, and that chase is what I’m here for. Whatever lies at the end of this new quest for anything other than this, will likely not look like anything that came before- and that’s ok. Changes happen, we evolve.

I am different now, just as life is different.

Even so, I’m ready to step outside and look for normal. My laces are tied and the sun is shining, wanna come?

let’s talk about our men…

Published on by Mae @ Rainydayinmay

I wanted to take a moment to talk a little bit about mental health. Primarily, men’s mental health. I love that more conversations are happening and we are, as a people, more willing to recognize this issue.

With most mental health things, we often do nothing because we feel powerless to make an impact or bring about change. This isn’t because we don’t care as much as that we care deeply and don’t know how to help. I want to direct our attention to some statistics and something that will be an amazing resource.

Family Man is a free, online course designed to equip fathers of children between the ages of 2-8 with the practical skills needed to cope with frustrating situations. Drawing on research-based principles of positive parenting, Family Man uses the latest parenting strategies that support happier homes and better mental health.

“There is a huge amount of research that shows parenting is more effective when it’s done as a team,” said Jane Endacott, Director of Digital Health Mental Health and Suicide Prevention at Movember. “We know that when dads are fully engaged in parenting decisions, it benefits the whole family.”

The interactive program is comprised of three 20-minute animated episodes. Each episode features a father as the main character who is faced with a challenging situation such as a battle over the dinner table or a public tantrum – common meltdowns that can cause friction in households and impact the whole family’s mental well being. Users are prompted with a number of possible ways to respond to the situation and an explanation of the pros and cons and likely outcomes of each option coaching fathers through each situation step-by-step.

Adapted from ParentWorks[i], a successful program designed by Professor Mark Dadds at the University of Sydney, Family Man has been vetted by a global panel of psychologists and parenting experts.

“Evidence-based parenting programs are effective in reducing behavioral problems, yet few involve the participation of fathers,” said Professor Dadds. “Family Man was designed to be accessible to all families and may be especially useful in rural and remote areas, where resources can be hard to access. It can be fully delivered online, without the support of trained practitioners, which is a key barrier for many parents.”

A recently launched survey by Movember of 1,600 fathers across North America including 800 US fathers from across the country showed that:

  • Nearly 2 in 3 US dads (63%) said they would be very or extremely likely to seek advice from an online website dedicated to fathers
  • 54% of fathers felt there was a lack of online parenting resources for fathers
  • 47% of fathers felt parenting advice from websites and social media are not aimed at them

Additional survey findings helped inform the need for a tool like Family Man:

  • 94% of dads reported that they feel more engaged with their children during the pandemic
  • 1 in 5 (19%) US fathers say their child’s behavior at home is somewhat manageable while 16% of US fathers say their child’s behavior in public is somewhat manageable
  • 31% of fathers reported feeling more impatient since having children

The  State of the World Father’s report indicates that approximately 80 percent of men will become biological fathers at some point in their lives. In addition, a previous study conducted by Movember also found that 67% of soon-to-be fathers and more than half of all men say that men are under more pressure nowadays to be good fathers.

For more information, visit familyman.movember.com