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Inception…

Published on July 31, 2017 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

I love the interaction and responses that I get from my readers re: Mask Monday and their journeys of self-care. (I can honestly say it is one of my favorite things!) I decided to make today’s blog post and Mask Monday a marriage of something to address a few of those questions. Mask Monday is not something I started. Let me be very clear about that. I saw it tagged on Instagram and being educated in esthetics and very passionate about skin care, I ran with it and practice it most Mondays. Initially I thought this would be a great opportunity to practice homemade face masks, but let’s be honest, we all have lives and while I soon realized this wasn’t super realistic in my day, every week, it wouldn’t likely be practical in yours, all the time, either. I do attempt homemade DIY skin care fairly frequently, (I have shared some of those in my newsletters.) and am currently working on a few things in that realm of skin care.

Today, though Mask Monday will be a key feature in this post, what I really want to address is the self-care aspect of it. While regular skin care is important, the act of intentionally take care of yourself is far more so. A few of my regular Mask Monday followers have confessed that this is the only time they really have for themselves, each week, as they sandwich it into busy lives, motherhood, work and other chaos. My response to this is always one of encouragement, and hope that they can sandwich a few more moments throughout the week. The art of living simply is becoming ever so trendy, and yet it still seems just out of reach for many of us.

If we can manage 15 minutes most Mondays, than let’s be intentional about it. The 10-15 minutes that our mask sits, feeding our skin, is our time to nourish ourselves. No dishes, or laundry. No checking in on social media. The care of self we take, within the time frame of the self-care mask on our faces, is vital.

I am not going to tell you what to do with your time, each of our needs are different. I will encourage you not to spend them on social media or technology of any kind. Though our lives have become more dependent on these things, they are pretty much the opposite of self nurturing.

Sometimes I do a few chores, but I make sure these are things representative of why this sacred slot of time is. This morning, mask on skin, I washed my make up brushes. Sometimes I brew a pot of tea and just dwell within the process, clearing my mind. There are days I stretch, journal, pick up a novel, paint my toe nails, write a note to a friend… These things work for me and fill my internal bucket, they may look different for you. Whatever they are, be intentional, and remember to take care of yourself.

I am a big believer in whatever we do, let’s do it well. The act of nurturing ourselves should not be the exception and it seems like often it is. There are days when I am just exhausted and doing a mask feels like the only thing I can manage, and even that feels daunting. On days like that, I may spread out my yoga matt and stretch, or just lie there and try to focus on the things I am grateful for. There are days when I drink a glass of water and take my vitamins, then choose a healthy snack (usually something rich in antioxidants) and practice just being while I enjoy it. On the really great days I do a hair mask as well. (Honestly those don’t happen as much as they should.) One of my favorite Monday things is to stare at my vision board. (Don’t have a vision board? Maybe take your fifteen minutes to start working on one! A Vision board is a GREAT way to love yourself!) Listen to you. Not the voices that tell you it’s a waste of time, or to do it later. Not the voices filled with negativity. Find what your soul is telling you today TODAY. It may not be what you need next time, and that’s ok. This intentional time for you is the most important thing you can do for you, so let’s do it well.

There is a need, and though I am no expert, I have read your questions and notes and heard what lies behind many of them. I’m going to make Monday posts here more focussed on self-care. Some days this may be loosely connected and other days it may be a brief blurb. I hope they help us all, as we journey through this life.

It’s friday, I’m in love…

Published on July 28, 2017 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Hey, you guys!

How was your week? Mine was a week. I had a court hearing regarding the care of my mom that simply illustrated why it is so important to watch what we say and only speak from a place of thoughtful intention. In a nutshell, a couple of years ago my mother said some steep things, on record, based out of anger that haunt us to this day… Beyond that, it was not a horrible week, really.

Here we are, approaching another delightful summer weekend! Big plans? My weekend hopes involve a bike ride, picnic, visit with my mama and finally seeing A Ghost Story. (If it is as good as I’m hoping it will be, it may end up on my list next week!)

This week found me with a few low-fibro days. There was a fair amount of down time, which isn’t a bad thing sometimes. My list of favorites might reflect that a little…

1.) If you know me at all, you will know that I LOVE all things Flow. (everything except how hard it is to get, here in the states.) Their app is really great and I love it so much that I wanted to share it with you! It is intentional, thoughtful and often thought-provoking.

2.) I’ve talked about Chocorite before. We really love most of their products that we have tried. I have fallen in love with a smoothie using their Vanilla Bean powder. (i also love their PB and their cappuccino, FYI) I use a nutri-bullet and I take 1 banana, 5 chunks pineapple, 1/2 cup orange juice, handful spinach, serving of vanilla bean powder and blend. CRAZY delicious and carried me throughout my morning AND a zumba class!

3.) Like I said, I’ve had a fair amount of downtime, as of late. It was in that, which I found that our family’s FAVORITE board game has an awesome app. Ticket to Ride is so fun, and the app is no exception. Chw and I playedd in pass-n-play, I played it solo mode and tried online with others. (That option was my LEAST favorite.)

4.) The new album Ti Amo by Phoenix! I have loved them for years, but this album really is a great listen. (It is filling up my spotify time!)

5.) This Ava & Viv Tankini top! I had to buy a new bathing suit earlier in the year and I have had issues falling out of it constantly. Recently I got fed up and decided the stress over worrying whether or not I was going to give the lifeguard a show was not worth it, and so I found this. It is flattering, comfortable, cute and super supportive!

What things did you really love, this week?

a little blue…

Published on July 26, 2017 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

This photo obviously isn’t me. It also wasn’t either of my dogs. It also, in my opinion, is not exactly where one should be walking their dog, especially not with a handbag like that. Either their car broke down and they are setting off, on foot- or its a sort of city-girl-in-the-country thing.

Completely irrelevant to the point of this post really, except that it is a photo of a girl and her dog. Yesterday I was walking Emma, (who is mostly my husband’s dog. Emma enjoys long walks, dog parks and abhors any type of love, faithfulness or affection, thus making her the anti-dog) when we heard the bellow of a young beagle from somewhere not too far away, but also not visible from our vantage point. Needless to say, my heart skipped a beat. I miss Knightley so much. I miss Paisley too, (for those of you who aren’t up on the dog talk, my dog of 6 years passed away from cancer last August. Her name was Paisley and she was the most loving, faithful and best dog ever. It took me until March to be able to get a new dog. His name was Knightley. Unbeknownst to us, he had kidney failure from birth and so at our 3 month anniversary of being his family, we got the news that he was suffering neurological damage and was dying so we had to euthanize him. He was four months and one week old. It was terrible.) I already wasn’t having a great day. Fibromyalgia crash and burn day likely triggered by the life-cocktail of heavy humidity over the weekend and stress from a few family extended situations.

I simply came home, ate some carbs and laid on the couch, giving up on the day. I napped fitfully (WORST decision you can make with Fibromyalgia. Naps are of the devil, and yet…) and spent the rest of my Tuesday cycling through various forms of fire, ache, throb and stiffness. I had every fever symptom, to boot, minus the actual fever. It was delightful and I was beyond apologetic to Chw because the worst part of all of it will forever be the guilt that I’m not contributing. I finished my night with cereal for dinner and popcorn for snack. (yay Carbs!) Of course, I was awake until late in the night/early in the morning because of the devil nap from earlier.

Today is a new day, today is a new day, today is a new day…

We have this jar that sits by the door which we’ve titled Project Puppy. The plan is that by July of next year, that change jar will hold enough to adopt again. My heart can take it, I think. Until then I will be a little lonely at times and super lonely at others. I will imagine my bouncy little buddy (for the brief time he was bouncy, that is) at the most unexpected of times, and deal with our Emma, who maybe loves us in a super strange and un-doglike way. I will stow away my nickels and dimes within that jar and wait, seeing what lessons unfold from this season of life. Michigan is hard. Michigan is the only state I have lived in (of the five I’ve resided in as an adult) where it feels impossible to form close friendships. It was not like this when we lived here before, but most of those people also left the state and the rest- well, time changes things.

I remember having this conversation with a friend many years ago, when she said I just want to find a close friend who knows where the glasses in my kitchen cupboard are and she comes over and makes herself at home. I think of that often, her words haunting me a bit. I also wonder why there aren’t online “dating” sites for friendship but then realize it is probably because women can be awful and so that likely wouldn’t workout so well. These things have to develop organically, I suppose.

In the meantime, just so you know, my glasses are just to the right of my sink, but don’t drink that water, it’s pretty gross. There’s a cooler behind you, and that water is much better.

Humanity lives beyond phone screens…

Published on July 24, 2017July 24, 2017 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

Friday evening Chw and I had a hot date to sign some papers and do a small Costco run for a few produce staples. We are completely wild and crazy now that we are empty nesters… The plan had been that I would meet him at 6, at the paper-signing place, which incidentally happened to be located halfway between his work and our home. I spent a good chunk of the day Friday hanging out with a friend, which was lovely. I noticed as the afternoon progressed and the air pressure was getting more intense. (yeah, I’m one of those people with super powers known as chronic illness, and can sense such things.) By the time the clock shown 4:30 I had this pounding headache and I KNEW that it would be unsafe for me to drive. I texted my husband and the following exchange ensued:

M-Hey, My head is all of a sudden killing me. Do you want to reschedule or would you be able to come home and us go together.

C- I’ll come home and pick you up. I love you!

He’s pretty cool like that, right? (Please realize here how stupid I felt asking for such a dumb thing, and how bad I felt that he would have to do so much driving. Although, at the same time, what he was going to do for an hour while he waited for the appointment, I wasn’t sure.)

At 5:05 Chw texted to let me know he was on his way and at 5:15 my headache completely dissipated. I felt like a jerk! It was a very obvious disappearance. I sat still for about 5 minutes wondering if it was really gone, and it was. Since the route he takes home is completely different from the route to our meeting place, calling him and telling him I could make it would have only complicated things. So, instead, I putted around for fifteen minutes taking care of small chores that he usually does, in an effort to make it up to him. (Guilt driven, on my part.) I then decided to wait outside for him so I could just hop in the car and we could head out.

At 5:38 my husband calls me…

Hey, I just nearly hit this guy. He was coming at me so fast, in his car, in the wrong lane. I don’t think he was conscious. He slammed into the pond and I’m not sure what to do.

M- oh my gosh, did you call 911?

C- yes, they’ve been called. His car is sinking but people who live by the pond are telling me not to go in, that it’s not safe. I’m not sure if 911 will get here fast enough.

M- oh my gosh. Why isn’t it safe?

C- It’s pretty gross and there could be glass and stuff in it. You can’t see a thing. Wait, this guy showed up and he’s going in. I’m going in.

M- ok! Where is this pond? (because obviously I wanted to go there.)

C- in our neighborhood. I’m going in.

M- ok. Put the phone down first, I love you! (I said this only because his voice was real jittery and I worried he wouldn’t think about it in all of the chaos.)

I immediately began walking in the direction of our neighborhood entrance. I had no idea, to be honest, that there was any sort of pond. Then, as I’m walking, I remembered a few weeks back when we saw these kids walking with fishing poles and Chw said “I hope they don’t eat fish from that pond, if it even has fish.” And I remember wondering what the heck he was even talking about.

Turns out it is really easy to find a pond when everyone is hanging around it. As I get there, my husband is treading water in a 10 ft deep pond, keeping a CAR afloat while another guy is cutting the seatbelt to get this guy out. Once the unconscious man is out of the car, Chw lets go of the car (which sinks pretty rapidly) and swims over to help the guy bring the unconscious man to the bank.

The victim is on land and awake before emergency response teams appear. He has no idea where he is at, or what has happened, and possibly not even who he was, he’s so out of it. My beautiful, brave husband is covered from neck to toe in grey-green sludge. His clothes had to be ten pounds heavier. It was a pretty intense experience and still my husband is having a tough time with it. We have different perspectives, he and I, and this experience has been a clear example of where his mind often goes… The one thing we do see the same is that the entire experience restored my faith in humanity a little bit. I kept saying that, throughout the evening. Of the dozen plus people out there watching, high on the emotion and adrenaline of the situation, not one person was filming a thing. No one was Facebook living or documenting that this was happening just beyond his or her front door. I am not going to lie- I fell in love with our neighborhood a little bit.

The facts, as I see them, timeline a little like this:

Chw wasn’t even supposed to be there, we were supposed to be meeting up somewhere else.
Around the time that I would have been leaving, is when this guy plowed through the oncoming traffic lane (would have been my lane) and nearly missed a home before slamming into the pond.
There was a woman walking her dogs on the sidewalk. One dog was dragging, out of character, and the speeding car missed her because of that.
To anyone who could see the area where all of this occurred, that he made it from the highway to the pond without hitting someone/something/a home/fellow drivers is unexplainable.
The entire crowd of people, who live on the pond side of things, was urging my husband NOT to go in, when a guy appeared out of nowhere (no one knew him) and once the victim was on shore, the stranger once again vanished. Of all of the people watching from their patios, from the crowd, no one could explain where he went. Dozens and dozens of “he was just here’s” flowed through the crowd.
Minus the mystery guy, and my husband, no one else wanted to go in. A few people helped in their own way… A guy had a knife to cut the seatbelt. Another guy produced a shovel for Chw to hold on to for leverage to swim the car closer to the bank.
My husband is a hero.

My husband’s take on the event is that he should have done more; That he shouldn’t have questioned it and just gone in; That he should have been more helpful; that he shouldn’t feel on edge or nervous when he’s driving now; that his involvement wasn’t a big deal so he doesn’t know why he hasn’t slept great and has been on edge since Friday evening.

We left before the news came. He didn’t want to be interviewed and I completely understood. (also, he looked like a swamp monster and so no one would have believed it was really him anyway.) (I’m kidding, of course.) Knife guy stayed and told the story well. Saturday the sheriff called my husband and left a beautiful voicemail. I was in an aisle of Target when my wide-eyed husband played it, choked up, and then handed it to me to hear. Fat tears filled my eyes because this man was really proud and grateful for my husband and I knew exactly how he felt.

I explained to Chw that trauma comes in all shapes and sizes. That what he experienced was traumatic stress, first from narrowly avoiding colliding with this guy (and we’ve all been in those types of situations and it is JARRING) to watching this horrible situation unfold (the car went airborne twice, you guys!) and then the very process of saving his life. It’s a lot. And the aftermath of stressful, traumatic situations is a lot to navigate through. He’s catching a yoga class tonight and I really hope that helps, but mostly this will just take time.

Make what you will of my headache, our change of plans or the disappearing stranger, my opinion is not going to change. It isn’t the first time that unexplained things have happened to my husband. (have I told you about the couch and the stairs? No? Perhaps, most recently, his bumper? also no? Another time, perhaps…) I just wanted to share the story and how extraordinary my husband is, and to give a huge shout out to this small corner of the world who did not prioritize social media over humanity.