Author: Mae @ Rainydayinmay

It was an early morning blur of activity the likes of which I had NOT been prepared for. We’d gotten word, late the night before, that a case worker may be showing up. We were brutally honest about the situation, but she was clear that they weren’t wanting to remove anyone from the family, they just needed to check some things.

It all seemed routine, but one look at the condition of her home and her complete disregard for her offspring, and calls were made. They found a foster home in a matter of minutes. Mom was arrested. Her babies (yes BABIES! We honestly didn’t know) were taken somewhere safe. Because Tom’s son was with us when he wasn’t with his dad, there seemed to be some uncertainty about how to proceed. In the end, late that afternoon they came for him too.

Somehow Tom had gotten word, and he booked it into town. He was already with the caseworker and they were getting ready to leave the neighborhood. Tom tried everything he could to get them to release his boy, but they wouldn’t.

It was devastating.

Tom hung around for a few hours, looking absolutely defeated. After a while, he disappeared. Maybe back to work… Perhaps to a bar somewhere… Maybe to the bed of another lady, looking for some comfort.

Even with Tom doing the best he can, from afar, we’ve had to intervene from time to time. She had a baby last year whom she left overnight. We took her in, made the mad dash to the store to grab formula, blankets, gentle shampoo. The baby was starving and filthy, it was heartbreaking. We had no idea who the father was, and mom was nowhere to be found. Fearing she’d finally done something really stupid and died, we put a call in. The system here, as it is everywhere, is so clogged. Because we were taking care of baby girl and we’ve had such a connected relationship with the caseworkers in the area, they asked us to keep her until a foster home opened up. We only had her for a couple of weeks, weeks that were so precious but also so hard. 

When the lady finally showed back up, she asked no questions about where her baby was. She just immediately returned to her self-destructive and partying ways. 

She gave birth (AGAIN! I swear this lady is a FACTORY) early Saturday morning. While we were filled with a sense of doom (these poor, poor babies) it was also really lovely to see so many family and friends show up in support of them. Even Tom came into town. It truly felt like a joyous occasion, even if we knew what ugly lay beneath this pretty surface. 

Her ex Tim had been hanging around (She’s not too interested in guys with complex names, apparently) and so we speculated he might be the father. This was all but confirmed when he brought his mom over on Saturday to join the celebration. I won’t lie, it was really nice to see his mom. She’s a great mom and I wish she could have intervened, but everything unraveled so quickly… 

The very first time we saw him, I didn’t trust him. He was thick and tough, scars visible around his neck and face. I knew in my gut that this guy was up to no good. I’m not sure when I softened toward him, admitting it wasn’t my gut warning me as much as my fear rising up. 

Sneaky fear, masquerading as intuition… 

In truth, though he’s big and burly, Tom has the sweetest heart. His eyes are deep and soulful, and he’s really a big softie once you see past his rough exterior. 

Then he had a short fling with the neighborhood lady. (I say “lady” because it feels a bit uncouth to call her the neighborhood trollop. I’m a proud womanist and so sometimes I just don’t quite know how to phrase things, but this “lady” gets around. Constantly knocked up, seldom knowing who exactly the father is. She neglects the kids she has, literally ZERO interest in being a mother.) So yeah, when the two of them started hanging out we tried to warn him. He liked her though–maybe his tender heart saw something in her that the rest of us couldn’t see. (Maybe I’m just bitter because I adopted one of her daughters after she decided she couldn’t be bothered to be her mom…)

 No one was shocked when she became pregnant, nor when the two of them broke up. Unlike any of her other baby daddies though, Tom stuck around. After their son was born, Tom took a strong interest in caring for him, and we helped out when we could. It’s a good thing because, well… his mom was still herself. We watched her turn completely violent on him because he reached for a piece of her snack once. It was chilling. Never in my life have I shouted “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? THIS IS YOUR SON!” so many times my throat went raw. 

Once Tom was sure we would be there for his kid, he took a great job out of town. He’s home some weekends and every holiday. It’s something truly precious to see the two of them together. When Tom’s around they are inseparable. His son is shaping up to be just like the best parts of his daddy, so kind and loving. He’s very sweet with his sister (the one who we adopted. the mom has lost all of her other children. One hundred percent why this boy has had some semblance of stability is because of his daddy. 

Whenever he’s back in town we all shout “TOM!” as though he were Norm (Cheers) and it brings us such joy to see him. It’s always sad, come Sunday evening when it’s time for him to go…