Mae @ Rainydayinmay

You spin me…

Published on December 20, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Welcome to my life…

Only maybe it spins a tad faster than that. OR, it just feels like it, when you’re on the inside looking out. Either way, I pretty much feel like I am going to throw up now.

I would like for this to be the part where I say that I am proud to say we are once again a homeschooling family. Truth is though, I am not. I pretty much thing is sucks, to tell you the truth… But, at the end of the day above every other selfish and non-selfish station I hold in life- I am a mom. A mom who loves my kid enough to do what is best for her and allowing her to slowly self destruct is certainly not what was best for her.

She’s pretty angry that it has come to this, but when she hugged me good night I couldn’t help like she seemed a little relieved.

And maybe she is. it’s all a lot of pressure for a PTSD/RAD kid… How do you go through the day of 7th grade drama, cat fights and multiple teachers when inside you are just aching for EVERYONE to love you- as is?

I want to scream at how it isn’t fair. How I had just hit a good stride, work wise and was getting to a good stride writing… the, I wanted to shout for joy a little. Less likely to have so many germs.

I don’t know… There is a sweet simplicity to a home life.

There are frustrations galore as well…

but then I remind myself that we tried something, (something that I swore wouldn’t be a trial) and it didn’t work… no harm done- no looking back- JUST MOVING FORWARD.

I am not scared, we’ve been here before…

But I am not excited either.

I love my daughter more than anything else- but these past few months I have grown to like her less and less. I hate to say that, but it’s true and everyone in this house agrees.

Honestly, I’d be surprised if Genny herself didn’t agree too. I don’t thinking she much fancies who she’s become- but I think she felt she had no other choice. Hopefully we can fix that…

In the meantime- round and round and round I go…

a touch of Christmas sadness…

Published on December 19, 2011 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay5 Comments

i’m watching the Bishop’s Wife while catching up on some things computer related… Is it wrong that I want Cary Grant to win and I think her husband is a putz? Probably… Oh well. I don’t care. Cary Grant will ALWAYS win, in my book…

Have I ever told you that for my golden birthday (28th) my husband threw me a 1950’s style Cary Grant dinner party? It was AMAZING! Truly incredible… One of the best nights of my life, for sure…

My husband… He is quite the man. As sick as I have been, in the past 5 months, he really has been amazing to pick up the slack with pretty much NO HELP. He works tirelessly for a company that claims to notice, but doesn’t seem to. He gives and gives and gives and truly remains the nicest and most giving guy.

My point is pretty much that my husband is my Christmas wish. That something good happens for him. Something really, really good. He deserves it. the last 4 years have been SO HARD on him and I see how much they’ve taken their toll on him. These days he is tired and my heart just breaks for him. It feels like nothing happens easily for him (especially where work is concerned- and as far as work goes- he’s been moved into the position of work consuming 95% of his energy/time) and I see him getting more and more ready to just give up a bit. I hate the thought of him being in the position…

in a lot of ways the Bishop’s Wife is making me think of that. Unlike her putz of a husband though, Chw is my leading man. Even if the angel of Cary Grant rang my door bell tomorrow- Chw is the one for me. I would express my heart for my husband though, and continue wishing that the corner to turn, is in site soon…

by the chimney with care…

Published on December 16, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

So yeah, that’s a lie.

No chimney.

No fireplace at all, actually, much to my serious dismay…

We had an amazing stone fireplace/mantel when we lived in New York and then again, a beautiful marble fireplace and wooden mantel when we lived in Michigan.

Here in Idaho- we get zilch along the “stockings to hang” scheme of things…

Anyway, I don’t spend a lot of money on Christmas decor. I find a piece that I really love and I’ll add it to our “collection” (which is small.) This ICE (glass) valance and the advent calendar are my two FAVORITE things… {i love that star too. I do have a bitter one that hangs on the wall at Christmas time as well.}

And, not that I’m bitter or anything, but those of us who are mantel-less have to be creative and just pretend anyway…

And, even though the Army has him stuck in Germany, Lucas’ stocking is hung by the- er, classic literature with care…

And lastly, more ever green garland, (which smells AMAZING, since we do an artificial tree) and snow flakes over our dining table…

Post note… i love dangling, glittery snow flakes. Just thought you should know that. :)

Oh Christmas Tree…

Published on December 14, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments

If you’ve been reading Rainy Day in May long, you know that I love to throw parties… i especially love Christmas parties. When one isn’t a practical solution, I at least opt for a good 1960’s style cocktail/dinner party. This year though, with all of the sickness and some family issues- Chez’ Wagner remains holiday party-less.

Le Sad…

The reality of this fully hit me when I realized that we would be decorating for essentially ourselves. Depressing, no?

I mean, what’s the point?

Which is sad, and shows where my priorities are when it comes to such things…

So anyway, silly vanities and insecurities aside I decided to take the lemons of this particular holiday season and squeeze them into a nice rich glass of egg nog. In other words, as I blogger- i decided i’d share our decor {which plays out more on the minimal side of the spectrum} with you…

After my youngest grew out of the need for familiar ornaments upon the tree, we started getting a bit creative with how we adorn ours. Last year, at her request, we went a little crazy and bought a white artificial tree which we donned with pink and grey lovelies. This year we decided to make a black and white tree based on our year. We wrapped it in shimmering glass garlands, used black, white, grey and silver ornaments as a “back drop” for our focus ornaments- which were clear glass balls that we placed black and white photos of special 2011 moments…

Over all, we’re pretty happy with how it turned out…

My inner interior designer is super OCD and I have to make sure that the gifts beneath the tree match our tree so all of our papers, this year are black and white, or red.

Besides our tree, there are only a few more things we adorn. I’ll post them tomorrow…

Thanks for letting me share… :)

Winter’s Tail…

Published on December 14, 2011January 17, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay22 Comments

If you aren’t familiar with the film Dolphin Tale, it is a beautifully crafted movie specifically about a young dolphin named Winter, whose tail is compromised in a freak accident and has to be removed. Throughout the journey, and against odds, Winter is given a prosthetic tail thus greatly increasing her quality of life and her odds of survival.

Not so specifically it is a story about attachment. It is a story about bonds. It is a story about love, and life, and will. It is not about inspiration- everything about it is simply inspiring…

So, are you with me now about how completely awesome this movie is?

Great, because here’s the thing- the DVD is being released on the 21st and I’ve been asked to host a giveaway! You could win your own copy, and when I say I am jealous of this- i mean I am WAY jealous…

So, to enter, just leave a comment with a way to link back to you… The giveaway deadline is December 21st at 12:01 a.m.

Then, in the meantime, to get a Winter fix that will warm your heart, you can watch her lovely live webcam…