Mae @ Rainydayinmay

Why, hello there Inspiration… {and M & C Monday}

Published on April 29, 2013April 29, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay6 Comments

Slowly our little family is adapting to life in the midwest. Spring has finally peeked out, and the sunshine lifts my spirit. These are very good things.

My office too, is shaping up. After well over a month of feeling zero creative inspiration to unpack and decorate it, a talk with Chw paved the way for a rush of motivation and now we are well on our way. We’ve painted, arranged some furniture and hung a few things up. Progress… I have a self imposed work deadline that I need to start putting in about 30 hours a week on revisions, by May 13th, so that’s the office deadline too.

When done, I’ll share. :)

I did make my way into a lovely little shop called The Iron Grate, up in Fenton. If I hadn’t already been bitten by the inspiration bug, there would have been enough in this amazing shop to force me right into it. Sadly, I bought nothing, BUT I coveted everything so that counts, right? I WILL go back…

It was the sort of weekend one really wants all weekends to be like. Productive, restful, full of laughter and good talks. Of course, it’s life, so it had some ugly bits too. Ugly bits like some miserable person making it their life’s goal to personally attack you because- well, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet. Many tears were shed over the reality of this situation and then somehow I just got over it. There will be people who don’t cut it for us and my time and thoughts are better spent on people who matter. It doesn’t change the fact that I had a lovely, inspiring, and relevant weekend.

This week’s Mac & Cheese focus is less recipe and more review. I’d never had Fried Macaroni and Cheese bites before. Being the lover of Mac and Cheese that I am- it seemed only logical to try them.

Chw and Gen were with me, and since my dear husband has declared himself a fellow M & C quester, it was only natural that they try them too.

Consensus was that we aren’t fans. These particular bites came from California Pizza Kitchen.

While they didn’t disgust me, persay, I don’t think I would ever be willing to order Mac & Cheese that is fried again. Chw felt the same way. Gen, on the other hand, claimed she loved them. She is fourteen though- and enjoys feeling the passionate opposite to me from time to time, so I’m unsure of her actual vote.

I can’t pinpoint what I didn’t like exactly, except they felt wrong somehow and just didn’t taste like Macaroni & Cheese. It could be that I’m also not typically a fried food fan. Not sure.

Have you every had fried Mac & Cheese?

Easy…

Published on April 24, 2013 by Mae @ RainydayinmayLeave a comment

It has become too easy to just crawl out of bed, swipe the deodorant, slip on yoga pants, swirl up a messy bun and call it an effort.

First I got really ill and was out of routine for about 5 months in 2011. Then, it took months for me to gain any semblance of strength back and crawl into a new routine. Just as it seemed like I was {finally} getting my crap together, I injured my back pretty badly and was down again. Here I sit, 6 months later and much worse for wear. Somewhere between the pneumonia and the back injury, depression crept in and wound it’s tiny little tight grip around me. I work at that, and managing daily chronic pain, and life.

And I’m tired. Almost all of the time, I’m tired.

So I’m easy.

Since our move- which stripped what felt like the little bit of strength I had and then wrapped me up in a land where seasonal depression is, well, as common as oxygen- everything is easy.

Easy dinners.

Easy chores.

Easy jobs with easy deadlines.

Easy, easy, easy…

I don’t want to be so easy anymore, but it’s almost as though I don’t know how to do anything else. For well over a year, my hair has turned into a mass of unruly curls that breed frustration. My eyelashes are limp, won’t crimp and don’t wear mascara well. I talk myself out of very nearly everything, during the process, even if I know I’ll likely love it once I’m doing it. The dread overcomes me and I guess, let’s face it, it’s just easier to bow out.

Easier.

The word EASY is not synonymous with anything good. Even Easy Bake Oven cakes taste like Styrofoam.

I don’t want to be easy anymore. I don’t…

So, I’m starting small.

Today, I’m starting here.

I’ve only got one shot at this life of mine and the truth is- it’s not easy being great…

Hell-o…

Published on April 23, 2013April 29, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay3 Comments

Just when I’m feeling better, I get the start of a major migraine right before bed. Thinking I’ll sleep it off, I wake up mere hours later in the worst face/head pain I can imagine. Preferring (more than likely) the idea of someone stabbing me in the face repetitively- I have no choice but to realize this misery is sponsored by the joy that is seasonal allergies. What girl could be so lucky as to endure a severe, post pneumonia lung infection and an allergic mutiny within the same small time period? Apparently me. *insert feeble, minuscule, sarcastic YAY here*

Big shout out to my husband, who was there to stumble from bed in search of antihistamines, over the counter headache meds and an ice cold washcloth. I couldn’t have survived the half hour of increasing pressure/pain with him. Seriously, I couldn’t.

I have been regularly consuming local honey in an effort to thwart this hellishness, but either it’s not working as hoped OR it would have been a trillion times worse. Let’s be honest, if it were actually a trillion times worse, I would stab myself in the face repetatively.

In other news, I am absolutely obsessed with the Boston Marathon bombing case. I was glued to the manhunt, and am now an absolute glutton for anything that follows regarding charges, etc. Last night when my boyfriend was doing his CNN show, it was mentioned that the trial could be two years out and the reality of my obsession hit me square in the face: that’s a pretty big commitment if I plan to be exclusively seeing this news story on top of my romance with Anderson Cooper and my marriage. Something will have to go, and I don’t think it will be AC or my husband. Drats… The ironic thing is, I’m not a news watcher at all. If I turn the tv on, and my boyfriend’s show is on- I’ll likely get sucked in, but I rarely turn the tv on when Anderson is on so that’s maybe a twice a month rarity. Maybe. Things like this happen though, and suddenly I’m all about the “news”. I wondered, recently, what that says about me. Girl, too easily depressed by news, gets obsessed with national tragedy news and has to ween off slanted media news updates like recovering drug addict. Hmmm. Then, yesterday, in an effort to control my itching need to turn on CNN midday, I chose Pinterest. Seemed like a logical distraction, that is until I stumbled upon a friend’s post about the 10 skills needed to survive in a post collapse world. Two-thirds of the way through the list, panic set in and I realized I would die in this post collapse world {that is, according to this article, an absolute to happen and probably before I am 40}, and that there is very little I can do about it. Then I realized that familiar panic was the very reason why I don’t usually watch the news. I took deep breaths, asked myself WWACD? {What would Anderson Cooper do?} And I imagined him there, with his “Are you really serious right now?” Expression, all squinty eyed and glorious- and it was enough for me to regain my sanity/breath and move on. You can call it denial, I like the term hopeful. You know, God is bigger than the boogie man, type stuff. Only, in this case, replace boogie man with post collapse world. Breathe…

Speaking of breaths… My word for the year is Breathe. Isn’t it ironic? Though this is something I meant more figuratively- I feel someone (other than me, they never take me seriously) should have a chat with my sinuses, as they aren’t really heeding the instruction to breathe well… Figuratively, I’m doing pretty ok in that area. My crazy-busy, date book ruled schedule opened right up after the move, seeing as I have no friends or colleagues to schedule things with. I wonder WWACS? {What would Anderson Cooper Say?}

Hmmm…

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I love…

Published on April 22, 2013April 22, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay2 Comments

Like anyone else, I love a lot of things. Especially, today, I love the Earth. I love the air and the sounds and the miracles that happen in and around the earth. Specifically, I love how the earth gives us water and crops and grows luxuriously green grass for me to pad my summer feet through. Of course there is more, but that’s what I’ve got first thing in the morning.

However, since we are on the topic of things I love, I thought I would share a little bit more…

Like, how much I love how sweet smelling and worn out my dogs are after they come home from an afternoon at the groomers.

I love a productive afternoon of working hard on stuff in the garage so we can be DONE with this move already, and then taking my girl to donate a car load of stuff at the Salvation Army and grab a milk shake for the ride home.

I love free birthday gifts from Sephora, just for being a member.

I love that my fourteen year old thinks it’s amazing to watch The Hunger Games (for the 4,000th time) on her iPod nano. All 2.5 inches of it.

I love washing my face first thing in the morning. It sets the tone for a day.

I love new books, and new book release Tuesdays. I love how the ones I’m most excited about are delivered magically to my Kindle at some time in the night.

I love the Monday morning sounds of the washing machine running and bird songs as their artists bask in rays of crisp sunshine.

I love making brown butter French toast a’lorange with Gen. We chat about things, and realize our moods are both up several levels, likely due to the bright blue sky and ginormously glowing orb it holds.

I also really, really, really love Macaroni & Cheese. One of my girlfriends and I pride ourselves on being adventurers on a quest for the world’s best ever Macaroni and Cheese. In the beginning, my husband thought that was just not a cool enough adventure for him, but as the years have progressed he too has grown a bit Mac ‘n’ Cheese obsessed. Every new restaurant, or every stumble upon a new Macaroni & Cheese recipe is like a taunting challenge, SO it only made sense to share those voyages with you. Welcome to Mac & Cheese Mondays, ya’ll…

To start, I thought I’d share Chw’s current favorite Mac’n’cheese recipe. It’s pretty great, just not my favorite, but I am an equal opportunity Mac & Cheese maker so it works out fine and everybody wins. (though, for the record, Gen’s favorite is also my favorite, so we kind of win just a little more!)

What you need…

2 c. of your favorite small, dried pasta.

1 c. shredded sharp cheddar

1/2 c. shredded ANY OTHER CHEESE YOU LOVE

1, 8oz package cream cheese

1 c. undiluted evaporated milk

1/2 c. grated (NOT DRIED) parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Cook your pasta in boiling, generously salted water, according to your package directions. Drain, but don’t rinse.

Combine, back in pot (BUT NOT ON HEAT) the pasta with the cheddar and other cheese (Not Parm.) and cream cheese. Stir until the cream cheese is melted.

Poor into casserole dish.

Slowly stir in the milk, making sure to scrape the sides of the dish.

Evenly sprinkle Parmesan on top

Bake between 25 and 30 minutes- or until desired golden browning on top.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chw’s Favorite Mac & Cheese

(Adapted from Beatrice Ojakangas Mac And Cheese To Beat The Box recipe)

2 c. of your favorite small, dried pasta.

1 c. shredded sharp cheddar

1/2 c. shredded ANY OTHER CHEESE YOU LOVE

1, 8oz package cream cheese

1 c. undiluted evaporated milk

1/2 c. grated (NOT DRIED) parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Cook your pasta in boiling, generously salted water, according to your package directions. Drain, but don’t rinse.

Combine, back in pot (BUT NOT ON HEAT) the pasta with the cheddar and other cheese (Not Parm.) and cream cheese. Stir until the cream cheese is melted.

Poor into casserole dish.

Slowly stir in the milk, making sure to scrape the sides of the dish.

Evenly sprinkle Parmesan on top

Bake between 25 and 30 minutes- or until desired golden browning on top.

EAT!

a bit of a deep, introspective blip…

Published on April 18, 2013April 18, 2013 by Mae @ Rainydayinmay4 Comments

I’m trying to get a feel for writing in my new office. The window is different, the air is different. If I look closely I will notice that I am surrounded by some of the same things, but nothing really feels quite normal. It’s not bad, really. It’s just different, and I have never really been one for change.

Yesterday afternoon we were running errands in town and suddenly I was struck by the familiar sense of having driven down that exact road a few thousand times before. It was familiar. Familiar is typically good for people like me, us change-haters. Considering I lived back in Idaho for the past 6 years though, the familiar felt foreign. And yet, yet somehow it didn’t. The familiar almost belonged to me and suddenly, as I reflected on those six Northwestern years they seemed like a microscopic blip. It were as if the reality of being back here, in this Midwest Mitten state, hit me square in the head. It was hard to believe that six Christmases passed outside of here; hard to believe that birthdays and summers had as well…

And yet, it kind of wasn’t too.

Those six years were six hard years. HARD. We struggled more financially in those six years than before. I struggled more personally. I learned a lot of things in the Idaho chapter of my journey. Lessons in truth like:

– you really, truly can’t ever go “back”.

– your kids are worth whatever it takes to reach them. You will never regret a second of it.

– if living near family was painfully hard the first time around, going back won’t be any different. No matter how many promises are made, or how much you might romanticize the absence of it- if it sucked once, it WILL suck again.

– When you least expect it, you just might rekindle old friendships that you absolutely didn’t expect to. They will be there, beside you, through some amazing legs of your journey and you will be there through the most amazing one of their’s, and because of it your life will always be better.

– Jobs that sound more “peaceful” because they do not require travel, have the potential to actually be the exact opposite. As a result, your quality of life could dwindle. Significantly.

– You’ll lose friends you’ve had forever. I guess it’s inevitable, but still sad and sometimes very ugly to go through. You’ll also make new friends in equally unexpected ways. Some will be friendships for now, others will be friendships that you know in your core will last a lifetime.

– At least in my case I know that, though I’m better for the six years there, I am worse off too. Less patient, less kind. More tired, more cynical. Less healthy, much less happy, beyond far from the person I want to be- and let’s be honest- the person I maybe was those years ago.

So I’m here, in the last place I ever thought I’d be again, and I’m not sad.

I’m pretty glad. I’m pretty relieved.

But I have to remember I can’t go back. This is as much a fresh start as anything else.

I am different now.

Time to step out and start living, work on friendships, make new, heal…