Stuck…

I am participating in Five- Minute Friday again this week!

I am fasting from some things while fast toward some others.

I did this once, in the darkest and most dangerous part of my life, and two years later I am still overwhelmed at the goodness which came my way.

I am fasting because I want to grow closer to the God I love and be more of who I am meant to be, but also, secretly because my life is stuck. My location is stuck. So many things about my life right now feel stuck, and everyone has an opinion (me especially) about how much better things would be if the sticking were to get un-stuck.

I do not have a big-picture-view. I just don’t. So maybe I am missing a vital reason why here is the now. I am open to this, though honestly (and God knows this) the closed doors and remaining stuck is disheartening.

In this moment I am choosing movement, flow, breath, and intent- even though stuck I stay. I am flawed in my humanity and will likely embrace a meltdown and toddler-esque temper tantrum sooner than I would care to admit, but in this moment I’ll be. And that is literally the only power I personally hold in my sticky-stuckness: the choice regarding how I accept/face it.

And that has to be enough for me. (though admittedly fingers and toes are crossed and each prayer is post scripted with a please, oh please, oh please…)