This Morning/Mourning…

A crazy heat wave seems to have engulfed the midwest. I totally want to complain about how it’s such an inopportune time, but for such matters of weather there isn’t likely to be a great time, is there? School has been cancelled, for some, leaving several moms exasperated and taking to social media that their personal time is once again over run with Crayola markers and screaming, restless kids. What about their Pumpkin Spice Latte’s and unaccompanied hours, dreamed about, in the Target aisles? Oh I get it, minus the latte thing anyway, (because, for one, it’s not my flavor- and two, hello??? Heat Wave! Forget your latte and grab an iced tea!) I have to admit, however, it is a little gratifying to be home working while my high school senior is a few feet away, in her unicorn onesie, independently doing her own school. We begin the day with a tasty beverage or smoothie and just see how it unfolds. I really want to be intentional as these last days, with her home, tick away. I want to savor the moments, the laughter and the love. I’m not ready for them to be over, but that is not reason alone for me to wallow in the passing of time or my self sadness. I want her to be the very best she can be when that cap & tassel day comes.

Life has been extra heavy, within our family, for a while now. Marital issues, kid issues, financial issues, health issues, emotional issues, moving, moving again and then moving yet again. (for me personally there were a few other smaller “moves” tucked in there.) Do you have any idea what I’ve come to realize I hate above most things? Moving. When my beloved dog Paisley passed away a couple of weeks ago, leaving a part of my already bruised heart feeling absolutely decimated, I had to ask what else could happen… Unfortunately, a few days later Chw flew to Seattle to spend time with his dying father. (He also got to spend time with our son and his beautiful family, which I’m super jealous of, btw) Sadly, after a whirlwind road trip weekend (which left him totally exhausted), Chw’s dad passed away on Sunday. Suffice it to say, I am not asking “What else?” anymore… No. Bad, crappy and unjust things will come. I’m just going to sit here and cherish the minutes I discover, where peace, rest and joy will thrive. When those moments aren’t around, I’ll try my best to function in those things intentionally. The sun will always rise, and set again. This is our guarantee.

This morning I am up much earlier than normal. I am not sad about this, in fact I am grateful. In all of the chaos, I’ve fallen behind in my quiet time. (why is this always the thing I cut when time is short?) I was able to spend some good time this morning and now I am off to Target to peruse the aisles and grab a few necessities before my little unicorn-onesie clad student awakens to begin her day… No latte for me, but I will certainly be thinking of the mom’s out there suffering in inclement weather days and keep my fingers (and toes) crossed that this isn’t a sign of how the whole school year will go.