A study on home…

If you have never had an adoptive homestudy done, let me tell you that it’s sort of like having your belly sliced open leaving your guts there in the spotlight for all to see and analyze. Even leading up to that point though, the process of self in answering all of the questions and writing the biographies is intense. 
Half way through that, one evening, Chw looked at me and said “Wow, I never realized this about myself…” And to me, this made perfect sense. 
Pretty much, everyone should have to have a homestudy. 
There’s something about it that makes you be better, strive for better and believe in your family a little bit more. 
I can say this and know what I’m talking about because we’ve done them three times, and each time I feel just like this… 
Ironically, there were things (pre-this last homestudy) that we had decided to close the door on. One of these such things was growing our family any more. 
We felt tired and old. 
It just seemed exhausting and overwhelming… 
And then, this homestudy came and went and suddenly we felt renewed. 
What if we aren’t done quite yet? 
Heck, I’m on 36. Way too young to be headed in the last stretch towards empty nesting… 
So who knows what will happen. Maybe our path will be led to just the right kid, or kids, for us… Maybe this will just be the nudge we need into reapplying to be foster parents. 
Who knows… 
But the really weird part about it is- i am ok with not knowing… This crazy legal debacle of the past 8 months has reshaped me, in that way. Whatever the path, the husband and I are ready. :) 
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Categories: home, journey, marriage

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