For argument’s sake let’s just say, hypothetically, that my wedding anniversary is in a few weeks.
Ok. Technically speaking, my wedding anniversary is in a few weeks.
When we decided to reconcile our divorce, in 2001, we may have briefly considered remarrying on our original date (April 2) but truth be told, I don’t think we really thought much about such things. And then, six months after our remarriage, when April the second rolled around, I pointed out that it was our anniversary and well…
We began to disagree.
My loving and adoring husband wanted the past to remain in the past. Fresh start and all that. While I agreed to a certain degree, I also knew that those first five years of marriage were just as crucial to who we were individually and together as anything else could be.
Welcome to the impass. Complicatingly we settled neatly into the rut of ignoring our anniversary completely. “you know, it is so inconvenient that November 10th is just before the holidays. Why don’t we just do something special on April 2nd?”
“wow, April the 2nd is just a few days after my (Misty) birthday and a few weeks before yours, (Chw) which seems complicated. Let’s wait and do something really special November 10th.”
Something truly tragic was born. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying one date needs a first class trip to Paris, but some form of acknowledgement/honor is pretty vital to the life of a marriage. Invest in each other…
At some point, we grew up. By grew up I mean we took this awesome class which led to us having a reclaiming ceremony for our original anniversary and now we celebrate both. (the entire solution was obvious all along, I don’t know why we weren’t really getting the clue!)
The one thing we have never (ever) done however is Anniversary gifts. Never. Not the first marriage round and not this one. Wait, I take that back. When Gen and I moved to Idaho and Chw stayed behind in Michigan until he found a job here, he did send me a beautiful T & Co. necklace and roses for our November anniversary. Truth be told though, i think that was more or less one of those absence makes the heart grow fonder sort of deals. At any rate, we’ve decided to shake things up a bit. In a few weeks the pressure is on and we are exchanging gifts. It’s our remarried 10 year date. Seems like a good time to shake up tradition a little bit. I totally know what I am giving him (and I benefit too) but every day when he asks me for hints I can think of nothing.
5 thoughts on “Not one, but two…”
Oh, sister. I'm the same way…gifts are not my love language so I stink at thinking of gifts to receive or give. That's why 2 anniversaries sounds hard to me…so much gift pressure. My hubby's birthday is in a week and I have NOTHING.
I think CHW needs to gift you with a trip to my house….just sayin :)
Jenni,Actually i am a gift giver. Love it. It is the wishlist part that i struggle with.
Kl-Actually, he has the entire week off, after christmas. If the roads aren't too awful, what do you think?
In 41 years my dashing young Scotsman and I never exchanged anniversary gifts. We did celebrate with dinner in the years when we could afford to do so and these were held in better read more pricey places as we grew older.Gifts are not necessary. Just be sure to tell each other how much you care and celebrate just being together.